Depression

I know this thread is sometimes difficult to read as it's people writing what theyre going through and suffering with however it really is heart warming as well. A bunch of strangers in the real world helping each other out and offering support online with a bat shit crazy football club as the link.
Top work ladies and gents, keep it up


Sometimes the worst place you can be is locked in your own head. With help you can get out of the maze, it may take a while.

But you can and will do it, small baby steps lead to better things, if you take one forward and two back, just keep taking the step forward.

We all help each other for we are SMB, the family and the club is in our blood.
 


The last two weeks I've just felt really lonely outside of work, all I want to do is sleep so that I'm fresh in the morning...but then when I wake up I wonder what the point was, and wish I was asleep further into the day. I'm trying to rationalise it but I can't get away from the fact I am lonely. I come home every night to an empty flat, and the only opportunity to see friends is a Saturday afternoon so long as I want to get drunk...which I really don't like doing, but otherwise would be sat getting cabin fever.

Not very nice, take kalms all the time, sleeping pills to stop anxiety about work, even started having a night cap just so I can nod off without thinking about all this shit. I've been depressed before but that was 10 years ago, this isn't the same but it's not very nice at all. I exercise every day too, but it's temporary relief and I do that alone too.
 
The last two weeks I've just felt really lonely outside of work, all I want to do is sleep so that I'm fresh in the morning...but then when I wake up I wonder what the point was, and wish I was asleep further into the day. I'm trying to rationalise it but I can't get away from the fact I am lonely. I come home every night to an empty flat, and the only opportunity to see friends is a Saturday afternoon so long as I want to get drunk...which I really don't like doing, but otherwise would be sat getting cabin fever.

Not very nice, take kalms all the time, sleeping pills to stop anxiety about work, even started having a night cap just so I can nod off without thinking about all this shit. I've been depressed before but that was 10 years ago, this isn't the same but it's not very nice at all. I exercise every day too, but it's temporary relief and I do that alone too.

Can you not join a running or walking club, i switch off by just playing music, mind it's normally only three artists I am locked into on my head.

I am very insular to be honest now, total opposite to what I was. Into the very best of Prince, but have about 35 Albums as MP 3s, Mick and The Mechanics and Gerry Rafferty.

Just put in the Bluetooth buds and just switch off for a while, blows the shit away for a short time, really OCD in calory counting, must use more than I intake.

Take so much medication it plays with my mind, mind sleep is shit even taking sleeping tablets, because my phreaking mind is always twisting on at me, insidious little twat of a black dog in my head growling and slavering.

Putting it into words, muzzles the beast for a short time. Then the battle begins anew, to get him into his muzzle day after day gets difficult to pretend your coping when your not.

We just need to press on and play the cards we are dealt. Good luck in your journey., I hope you get what you need to assist you
 
Can you not join a running or walking club, i switch off by just playing music, mind it's normally only three artists I am locked into on my head.

I am very insular to be honest now, total opposite to what I was. Into the very best of Prince, but have about 35 Albums as MP 3s, Mick and The Mechanics and Gerry Rafferty.

Just put in the Bluetooth buds and just switch off for a while, blows the shit away for a short time, really OCD in calory counting, must use more than I intake.

Take so much medication it plays with my mind, mind sleep is shit even taking sleeping tablets, because my phreaking mind is always twisting on at me, insidious little twat of a black dog in my head growling and slavering.

Putting it into words, muzzles the beast for a short time. Then the battle begins anew, to get him into his muzzle day after day gets difficult to pretend your coping when your not.

We just need to press on and play the cards we are dealt. Good luck in your journey., I hope you get what you need to assist you
Agree with everything you say... I try and be outward. I make an effort to smile at people when I make eye contact. Some smile back, others don't, but it never gets me anywhere in terms of a conversation.

Medication, same. Sleep and pre-sleep, same.

I might join a walking club. I wish there were walking clubs for younger folk though, they seem like all 50/60+ ?
 
Agree with everything you say... I try and be outward. I make an effort to smile at people when I make eye contact. Some smile back, others don't, but it never gets me anywhere in terms of a conversation.

Medication, same. Sleep and pre-sleep, same.

I might join a walking club. I wish there were walking clubs for younger folk though, they seem like all 50/60+ ?

Eye contact fucks me up

I honestly don't know but I would say don't put to much pressure on yourself.


What do you like? Gather there be it pub or knitting circle

What do you need? I'd say that is the walking shit. Gets your head straight.


Don't push for a connection. Push for a walk you enjoy
 
Agree with everything you say... I try and be outward. I make an effort to smile at people when I make eye contact. Some smile back, others don't, but it never gets me anywhere in terms of a conversation.

Medication, same. Sleep and pre-sleep, same.

I might join a walking club. I wish there were walking clubs for younger folk though, they seem like all 50/60+ ?


Never mind the age gap, it is conversation and stimulation that you initially need to kick start a process, they might also have contacts or knowledge of younger groups.

Just make initial contact and play it by ear fella, it is getting a process to work that is important. Any step forward is the right way to go
 
Never mind the age gap, it is conversation and stimulation that you initially need to kick start a process, they might also have contacts or knowledge of younger groups.

Just make initial contact and play it by ear fella, it is getting a process to work that is important. Any step forward is the right way to go

This all sounds great but I'm certain I'm not alone in finding it next to impossible to just get up sometimes. The bathroom can seem a day's work away to get to.

At these points we know that walking at a brisk pace will sort us out but it just doesn't seem tenable.

So I say hunker down, for the moment , don't persecute yourself, accept where you are.
You need to get out so ask of you can do it your self with baby steps or do you need to see your dr and get some support to get out there?


Just remember that even when you are back out there everyone is a bit vulnerable and wondering what everyone else thinks of them
 
This all sounds great but I'm certain I'm not alone in finding it next to impossible to just get up sometimes. The bathroom can seem a day's work away to get to.

At these points we know that walking at a brisk pace will sort us out but it just doesn't seem tenable.

So I say hunker down, for the moment , don't persecute yourself, accept where you are.
You need to get out so ask of you can do it your self with baby steps or do you need to see your dr and get some support to get out there?

Just remember that even when you are back out there everyone is a bit vulnerable and wondering what everyone else thinks of them



Just have to try things till you get what works for you, we all have different issues and problems and really can only advise what has or is assisting us.

The skill is to take what is useful for you, putting the rest to one side. It may be useful later, but it is imperative to get medical help, when you realise and accept you have a problem.

That is when assistance, can put on you a better path, no one is an expert except in their own illness or mental health. My apologies if that belittles anyone.

Fought my own demons a long time till started to crash and burn, friends got me to accept I had an issue and seek medical help. Luckily for me, I did, on a journey out of the maze towards one of the many exits, that I could not find.

Safe journey to all and keep well, we are not alone, never forget that.
 
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Back down to the depths again this month, no idea how I even ended up back so low.

Iv'e made the move quick this time though, got myself an emergency doctors appointment and straight on the mirtazapine, 30mg before bed.
Hoping I'll be starting to pick up within a week or two, had a cracking sleep last night because of the medication.

@The Rat How are you doing marra, not seen you post for a while, hope things are going ok ?

Chin up to everyone else, keep battling and most of keep talking, this place is bloody handy when the spiral starts, loads of topper lads and lasses.
 
Back down to the depths again this month, no idea how I even ended up back so low.

Iv'e made the move quick this time though, got myself an emergency doctors appointment and straight on the mirtazapine, 30mg before bed.
Hoping I'll be starting to pick up within a week or two, had a cracking sleep last night because of the medication.

@The Rat How are you doing marra, not seen you post for a while, hope things are going ok ?

Chin up to everyone else, keep battling and most of keep talking, this place is bloody handy when the spiral starts, loads of topper lads and lasses.

Well done fella, taking the right steps there.

@Ginger John you doing ok fella, hope your managing to cope with your heavy load at this sad time.

You have friends, fella (Bec's) and you will get through the mourning period and stress. Take care and keep well in this traumatic time xxxx
 
If everything in your life is good, ie: you have a job, money, a good family relationship, friends etc.. and you're feeling low, then chances are you're clinically depressed. You have a chemical imbalance that anti-depressants can fix. Going to your GP and getting help is the best course of action.

On the other hand... If everything in your life is bad, ie: you're unemployed, no money, no friends, a bad relationship with your family, an alcohol/drug problem etc... then chances are you're not depressed. It's just that your life is shit and has no purpose. Anti-depressants won't remove the facts of your terrible life. They may make you feel better for a day, but once they wear off you're back in your shitty life. You need to fix your life in order to feel better. So, set yourself a little daily goal. Anything, but keep it simple. Something like tidy your room, do the washing up, go for a walk, phone a friend, whatever, and force yourself to do it. Step by step, little by little, fix your shitty life, until you get to a point where life isn't so shit. Then you'll start to feel better. You're creating positive feedback loops in your brain. Don't set a goal where you're likely to fail, because failing will reinforce those negative feedback loops that make you feel low.

In my case it was the latter. I'd quit my job, jogged my friends on, turned off my phone, and then couldn't understand why I was "depressed". I wasn't, I'd just created a shitty life for myself with no purpose and didn't know how to escape.
 
Back down to the depths again this month, no idea how I even ended up back so low.

Iv'e made the move quick this time though, got myself an emergency doctors appointment and straight on the mirtazapine, 30mg before bed.
Hoping I'll be starting to pick up within a week or two, had a cracking sleep last night because of the medication.

@The Rat How are you doing marra, not seen you post for a while, hope things are going ok ?

Chin up to everyone else, keep battling and most of keep talking, this place is bloody handy when the spiral starts, loads of topper lads and lasses.

Peaks and troughs marra, started drinking far too much again which isn't helping.

I am getting by just about but being very very anti social, never in the mood to talk to anyone.

Cheers for the message
 
Peaks and troughs marra, started drinking far too much again which isn't helping.

I am getting by just about but being very very anti social, never in the mood to talk to anyone.

Cheers for the message
Ask yourself, honestly, whether you have a shitty life or not. If you do, then you have to fix that mate. Nobody is going to fix it for you. Anti-depressants won't fix it. You have to take steps in the right direction by doing something about it.
 
Yeah I know, easier said than done like.
One step at a time mate. Give yourself a little goal today like hoovering up or something then force yourself to do it. You'll feel much better about yourself and won't feel that awful guilt when you're laying in bed tonight thinking "Well that was a waste of a f***ing day!". Do that every day and you'll soon get your mojo back. Positive feedback loops!

The only thing stopping you is you. ;)
 
If everything in your life is good, ie: you have a job, money, a good family relationship, friends etc.. and you're feeling low, then chances are you're clinically depressed. You have a chemical imbalance that anti-depressants can fix. Going to your GP and getting help is the best course of action.

On the other hand... If everything in your life is bad, ie: you're unemployed, no money, no friends, a bad relationship with your family, an alcohol/drug problem etc... then chances are you're not depressed. It's just that your life is shit and has no purpose. Anti-depressants won't remove the facts of your terrible life. They may make you feel better for a day, but once they wear off you're back in your shitty life. You need to fix your life in order to feel better. So, set yourself a little daily goal. Anything, but keep it simple. Something like tidy your room, do the washing up, go for a walk, phone a friend, whatever, and force yourself to do it. Step by step, little by little, fix your shitty life, until you get to a point where life isn't so shit. Then you'll start to feel better. You're creating positive feedback loops in your brain. Don't set a goal where you're likely to fail, because failing will reinforce those negative feedback loops that make you feel low.

In my case it was the latter. I'd quit my job, jogged my friends on, turned off my phone, and then couldn't understand why I was "depressed". I wasn't, I'd just created a shitty life for myself with no purpose and didn't know how to escape.

Good post fella, makes good points
 
I'll put it out there that if there's anyone on here who's feeling isolated, lonely or secluded then send me a message. I might not see it straight away, and I haven't always got enough money to go out for a pint, but I'll respond when I see it, talk to you about what you've got going on and join you for a pint or a coffee if I can afford it. I'm not a counsellor in any way, shape or form but I've had the lows a few times and can lend a sympathetic ear.
 
There's a young lad on Twitter and Facebook that does a live stream on a Monday night at 8pm. His name is Aiden Hatfield he runs In Music We Trust and he struggles with depression too. I don't know if this will be for everyone but if it helps just one of us then it was worth typing it.
 

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