Every one deals with things differently, what works for some may not work with others. The problem trying to analyse yourself is it does not work. You just try and find what works for you. Your are to close to the situation and have a blinkered view, like we all do of ourselves. When dealing with it yourself, you are quite insular, but fail-safe mechanisms, e.g. how your dealing with issues can collapse without warning. Your thoughts are not unique, everyone with issues tries to analyse themselves. It took me over four years of keeping everything locked up in my head, before I admitted that I had a problem and was getting worse after nearly suffering a meltdown. Kept trying to snap myself out of it. Thought I had been cured, after treatment for PTSD some years ago, but can come back and bite your bum. Know exactly what the trigger was and when, but no idea of the why. Either failed to see the signs, or ignored them, at some point in time you have to get the illness treated and need expert assistance for that. If I could have carried on dealing with it, then I probably would have. But my head went tilt and said hang on had enough here. Medication has stopped me slipping over the edge as I was approaching burnout with not many options left. Now on medication which has stabilised my mood swings and waiting to start a treatment course, when a place is available. More people need help than there are places oddly enough! Just keep on one day at a time, working for me and I hope everyone stays safe. It calms me writing this and quite therapeutic, please accept my apologies for a bit of a rambling post. Agreed. I was the same at one point and forced myself to get out and do stuff, now I do stuff because I find it keeps the black dog from biting my arse. We have all been there fella, fight the bugger and do not let it win Troubled souls on a stormy sea without the aid of a life preserver, but in hope of assistance from like minded kindred souls. Quite a few of us in stormy waters, no surprise to be a product of a broken society for many different reasons.