Depression

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The Lonious Monk said:
I am glad you are doing better. @Flared Hicks is a gentleman and a scholar and one of my favorite posters on here (by the way, where is the fucker, haven't seen around here in a spell?!?). @Ginger John I don't know well, but seems like a very nice poster so I am not surprised by your comments regarding both of them. I know it's battle for life, and I wish you all the luck in the world, my friend.
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Still here marra just been travelling a lot with work the last few weeks. Currently in Vegas and really chuffed to hear how much @Fred Basset has managed to get on top of his struggles. He’s a sound lad.

The brain is a funny old beast and has way more power than we can begin to imagine imho. As you say I’d encourage anyone to just put their thoughts out on here, it’s a brilliant sounding board and unlike the rest of the joint, I’d say this little oasis is one place where you won’t be judged, and people genuinely want to help if they possibly can.
 


Ginger John said:
Not good :(

It was half term a couple of weeks back so the bairn was off. We took my Dad to the Leonardo exhibition one day as he's fascinated by his drawings. Took him to Life another day as he loves astronomy and wanted to see the moon exhibition. He was grinning his head off both times and thoroughly enjoyed himself. Couple of days later he took bad and he's been in hospital since. Went in Sat night after the match as he wanted a report and again on Sunday night and he seemed a bit better.

He's taken a turn for the worse today and he looked awful when I went in this afternoon. His breathing was really poor and he was in a lot of pain and agitated. They've done some tests this evening and he's got pneumonia. The next 24 hours are critical and they've put a DNR on him. Mam is staying with him in the hospital.

I love him so much. He's like my mate as well as my Dad. If everyone can pray, send good vibes or whatever I'd appreciate it as I want him to get well.
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Thinking of you xxxxxxxxx

Draig said:
Currently wondering what the fcuk am I doing still here. For every positive there is a negative and for every negative there is another negative. Some days I find it almost impossible to get out of bed and other days I can't get out at all.
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Small steps..... Just do whatever it takes to get through the day.... Or the next hour....
Self care chick, don't give up !!!!!! There is a future for you
 
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Ginger John said:
Just thought I’d update everyone. As mentioned before, I’ve been suffering from PMDD for several years. It started off quite mild but got worse as time passed. It’s a female hormone disorder that causes severe PMS. There are other effects like heavy bleeding, sore boobs, stomach cramps etc., but I’ll spare you the details about that! My crohns would kick off in the second half of my cycle too and I was getting severe pain down the left side of my abdomen.

The depression was the hardest to deal with. In my case, it was like a switch was being flicked just after I ovulated mid-cycle, and I’d plunge into a really low mood, sometimes with suicidal thoughts for about two weeks until I came on. I just hated myself and getting through each day was a struggle. I had here though as my safe space where I could pretend everything was fine and that helped a lot.

The first line of treatment is hormone based contraceptives. They can level the hormones out for some women. It’s always “try this and give it a few months and see how it goes.” I tried different combined pills, the mini pill, the depo injection and the Mirena coil but all made the symptoms worse. I was really frustrated that nothing was working. They decided I was sensitive to the progesterone, so contraceptives were no good for me.

The second line of treatment is SSRI’s. Some women take them continually. Some take them for two weeks a month to coincide with the PMDD symptoms. I tried three but reacted badly to all of them! Mirtazapine made me way too sleepy. I felt like a zombie and I didn’t feel safe driving. Sertraline gave me chronic migraine like headaches and I kept having to lay down until they passed. Fluoxetine gave me a rare skin rash so I had to stop that.

The third line of treatment is GNRH analogue injections. That’s a pellet injected into your belly (ouch!) every four weeks. They work by chemically shutting down the ovaries so no hormones are produced and your body goes into a drugged menopause. These were brilliant! All the symptoms vanished and I felt great! My crohns went into remission as well. The only downside is they seriously deplete your bone density, so you can only have them for six months at a time otherwise you are at much higher risk of osteoporosis and broken bones.

My six months finished in the summer. As the injections wore off, my ovaries fired back up again big style and I was plunged into a massive low. I really couldn’t cope with anything. I was getting a lot of hassle on here and my safe space was gone. I still wanted to join in the footy chat as it was just before the World Cup, so I changed my name on here and used a blokes name as a woman would have been easily spotted. My safe space was back again. I’m genuinely sorry to all who I worried during this time, but I had to do what was best for myself.

After discussions with gynae I was left with the options of GNRH injections on a six months on and six months off basis or surgery to remove my ovaries. I would have had to have the injections for another approx 12 years until I reached natural menopause. This would mean the six months of feeling well and six months of being poorly, plus the hassle of going to the hospital every four weeks for the injections.

I decided surgery was the easiest option in the long term, so I had my ovaries removed in December. I’m doing really well now. All the symptoms, including the depression have gone and my crohns is barely noticeable. Once they got inside me, they discovered I also had endometriosis which would have been causing the pain so that has all been cut out as well.

Hopefully I’ll stay well now and I’m just enjoying being able to live a decent life again :cool:
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My wife went through a similar thing, you may have not noticed but I never posted on here for around a year and a half, I thought I would just say nothing rather than let some of the arseholes on here see a chink in my mental armour they could exploit. Thouhg I do have some very good friends on here and most of the SMB crew are fantastic people, its the wankers that seem to get the recognition, the "it's just banter" squad.
 
WillD said:
My wife went through a similar thing, you may have not noticed but I never posted on here for around a year and a half, I thought I would just say nothing rather than let some of the arseholes on here see a chink in my mental armour they could exploit. Thouhg I do have some very good friends on here and most of the SMB crew are fantastic people, its the wankers that seem to get the recognition, the "it's just banter" squad.
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I did notice you'd been quieter than usual but just put it down to being busier in real life. Sorry that happened to you xx

chopsfc007 said:
I have an appointment on the 18th not sure I think you can get surgery it's good they have found it early it can lead to loss of eyesight
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It is good they found it early. Hope you get sorted out mate xx
 
chopsfc007 said:
Just waiting for my endoscopy it's one thing after another with me
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Hope it goes ok. I've had the camera up but not down! It wasn't pleasant obviously but it wasn't horrific either. Just relax and pretend you're somewhere else.
 
Not sure why i'm posting this on here but it's been an horrendous last couple of years following the break up of my relationship with the mother of my child, my father being diagnosed with an aggressive tumour before watching him fade from being an intelligent and articulate man to being unable to string a coherent sentence together and his subsequent passing 3 months ago. The sudden death of a neighbour has re-opened wounds that had barely begun to heal anyway and now in the last few days i've had to walk away from someone i'd become incredibly close to.

I've not really felt the need to talk to anyone about any of this but, driving home from work last night, i found myself thinking "what is the actual point any more". It isn't something i want to act on and i didn't even contemplate doing anything stupid when i got home but life's just one thing after another now and i don't seem to be able to find joy from anything that happens day to day with the exception of my son. My job is beyond dull so i really struggle to focus on that and the future seems to hold very little promise as i'm moving house (to be closer to my son) but to a place where i know very few people.

Sorry, sometimes it feels better just to write things down.
 
The Truth said:
Not sure why i'm posting this on here but it's been an horrendous last couple of years following the break up of my relationship with the mother of my child, my father being diagnosed with an aggressive tumour before watching him fade from being an intelligent and articulate man to being unable to string a coherent sentence together and his subsequent passing 3 months ago. The sudden death of a neighbour has re-opened wounds that had barely begun to heal anyway and now in the last few days i've had to walk away from someone i'd become incredibly close to.

I've not really felt the need to talk to anyone about any of this but, driving home from work last night, i found myself thinking "what is the actual point any more". It isn't something i want to act on and i didn't even contemplate doing anything stupid when i got home but life's just one thing after another now and i don't seem to be able to find joy from anything that happens day to day with the exception of my son. My job is beyond dull so i really struggle to focus on that and the future seems to hold very little promise as i'm moving house (to be closer to my son) but to a place where i know very few people.

Sorry, sometimes it feels better just to write things down.
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That's a hell of a lot of stuff you've gone through :(

It all looks jumbled up at the moment but I can see positives. You're going to be nearer your son so it'll be easier to do things with him. He needs you as a father figure in his life.

Once you're settled in the new house you could look at changing the rest. Maybe a new job closer to home and see what's in the area where you could make friends. Maybe there's a nice pub nearby or you could join a sports group or hobby group.

Give it time though and keep writing if it helps. Even if you don't post it on here, just writing things down can help. Take care mate xx
 
A good way to get out of depression is to understand your own psychology, habits and human nature as a whole.

Who better to learn that from than a Clinical Psychologist. This fella helped me massively. Check out his Uni lectures.

 
WillD said:
My wife went through a similar thing, you may have not noticed but I never posted on here for around a year and a half, I thought I would just say nothing rather than let some of the arseholes on here see a chink in my mental armour they could exploit. Thouhg I do have some very good friends on here and most of the SMB crew are fantastic people, its the wankers that seem to get the recognition, the "it's just banter" squad.
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It's the 'ha ha I'm just winding you up, why get annoyed about texts on a messageboard' that infuriate me mate. Funnny as fuck those pricks, aye? The internet equivalent of a work practical joker that would deliberately ruin your day and then say 'Its a joke, can you not take a joke like?' Hope all works out Will. Off to see my mum in the cancer ward tonight, as if dementia wasn't enough for her.
 
The Truth said:
Not sure why i'm posting this on here but it's been an horrendous last couple of years following the break up of my relationship with the mother of my child, my father being diagnosed with an aggressive tumour before watching him fade from being an intelligent and articulate man to being unable to string a coherent sentence together and his subsequent passing 3 months ago. The sudden death of a neighbour has re-opened wounds that had barely begun to heal anyway and now in the last few days i've had to walk away from someone i'd become incredibly close to.

I've not really felt the need to talk to anyone about any of this but, driving home from work last night, i found myself thinking "what is the actual point any more". It isn't something i want to act on and i didn't even contemplate doing anything stupid when i got home but life's just one thing after another now and i don't seem to be able to find joy from anything that happens day to day with the exception of my son. My job is beyond dull so i really struggle to focus on that and the future seems to hold very little promise as i'm moving house (to be closer to my son) but to a place where i know very few people.

Sorry, sometimes it feels better just to write things down.
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Just keep plodding on, the exception to everything is your son, your anchor and rock, as you will be his! When you move then try and get involved in some type of activity in a gym or a club, do not sit around on your own it makes everything worse. At the very least chat to posters on here. Lot's have been through problems and perhaps their own depression and other things are on hold for a while. I am waiting for treatment for PTSD and panic and anxiety attacks, of which over the past few days had quite a few attacks.

Because has taken three days to get medication sorted for depression and insomnia because of mix ups with prescriptions between Doctors and Pharmacy, where the receptionist told me just to calm myself down. If I could do that then I could make millions as I would not require the bloody therapy that I have been waiting of on the list since November! :eek::oops::rolleyes::cry:

But keep plodding on and face each day as it comes and deal with it! Initially I shut down and stayed off here, but it is actually better to get everything out and lance the boil and relieve a little of the poison! Otherwise I just become more and more insular, that is when the real damage can occur, try and keep busy, I try and count steps, it breaks me out of the active cycle of panic and anxiety! :lol::lol:
 
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ouro said:
It's the 'ha ha I'm just winding you up, why get annoyed about texts on a messageboard' that infuriate me mate. Funnny as fuck those pricks, aye? The internet equivalent of a work practical joker that would deliberately ruin your day and then say 'Its a joke, can you not take a joke like?' Hope all works out Will. Off to see my mum in the cancer ward tonight, as if dementia wasn't enough for her.
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Sorry to hear that mate, I know exactly what you mean, a new form of bullying, but this latest version have no balls to say it to anyone face to face and they pass it off as craic. I don’t know what’s worse atm, my dad in a care home not remembering who we are or slowly watching him deteriorate physically into a shell of a man.
 
WillD said:
Sorry to hear that mate, I know exactly what you mean, a new form of bullying, but this latest version have no balls to say it to anyone face to face and they pass it off as craic. I don’t know what’s worse atm, my dad in a care home not remembering who we are or slowly watching him deteriorate physically into a shell of a man.
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Nothing is good about any form of bullying in any way shape or form You have to remember WUM's and Trolls have no thought's other than their gratification of making others as miserable as they are in life.

Spoiling posters escape routes for a period of the day or night. Just remember if you are suffering medically, there is a reason for it, being a twat has no excuse for any gender or non gender.

If your broken you can be fixed, may take ages but you are fixable. Being a Twat, no cure. My best buddy who has and still does help me, is @Amber, not been on for a while as this place lost it's fun for her.

Real pity as she was a cracking poster and a right laugh. @Ginger John also went through loads of crap. Some it drives away, others hide their identities while some have skins like elephants.

Easiest is your craic stinks fella or :lol::lol::lol: make your choice, no bite then no satifisfaction given. Anyhow opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and all can be shit.

It is how you wipe that shows your measure, unless you knock out 100 percent Ghosties. Keep safe all and excuse the longish post. Calms my mind writing this shite and I wrote it before anyone asks how? Or who wrote this shit! :eek::rolleyes::lol:
 
Has anyone every felt like this......I was thinking last night about the last few years and when I was happier and when I was unhappier. Strangely enough, I think I was more happy when I didn't really tell anyone about it, kept it to myself, came up with a way of dealing it, the odd lie to friends etc. Since I have been open, after the initial relief I feel worse the last 12 months, like I am far too aware of how I feel and the bits that are wrong in my life, I think a lot of trivial stuff, or work stuff I could almost just kid myself that it was OK, and that got me by. No its like I am more aware of all my faults or whatever.

I am not sure if anyone has ever felt like this, its an unusual thought, just not sure how much talking about it has actually helped me. Not to say for 1 second people shouldn't, they obviously should its proven, but I am not 100% it worked for me.
 
Any poster who comes on here to do "banter" does not understand the thread. It has been a place where I can write my feelings when I am good or not so good. The people who support you on here are great. Idiots can just move on...


You are not alone and we are all here to help everyone.
 
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