Depression

[becs]

Struggling here. Really stressed and really busy with work due to the festive season. I'm rushed off my feet and I keep getting calls or emails asking me to do more work and I'm too soft to say no. I've got a load of tension knots in my shoulders as I'm not relaxing enough so they are really hurting. Someone has been making me feel uncomfortable with sexual messages despite me spelling out quite clearly that I am not interested. Yesterday he exposed himself to me. I felt a mixture of sick, humiliated and offended. After the heartbreak last year when that bloke hurt me, I've been avoiding men this year. Even though I've not instigated anything, a bloke has still hurt me. I just feel like a piece of worthless trash. Every time I try and build my confidence back up, someone waltzes in and smashes it back down again. I feel like just hiding from the world

 

[haway]

Best wishes & thoughts with those who are suffering right now.

Feel a bit of a fraud commenting on here at the moment as my mood is completely at the other end of the scale right now but I'll never be too distanced away from it to forget what a horrible mindset the illness can leave you in & the bleak outlook you see during the darkest times.

As has been mentioned a few times, try not to feel bad about feeling bad.
The immediate guilt will only make you feel worse.
Also, try not to expect some miraculous change just like that.
You'll only end up disappointed when it doesn't happen as it's fairly unrealistic that it'll happen just like.

Take care one & all.

You've had it rough at times, don't feel bad posting here, it's important to hear both the downs and the ups of depression.

 

[peachy]

Struggling here. Really stressed and really busy with work due to the festive season. I'm rushed off my feet and I keep getting calls or emails asking me to do more work and I'm too soft to say no. I've got a load of tension knots in my shoulders as I'm not relaxing enough so they are really hurting. Someone has been making me feel uncomfortable with sexual messages despite me spelling out quite clearly that I am not interested. Yesterday he exposed himself to me. I felt a mixture of sick, humiliated and offended. After the heartbreak last year when that bloke hurt me, I've been avoiding men this year. Even though I've not instigated anything, a bloke has still hurt me. I just feel like a piece of worthless trash. Every time I try and build my confidence back up, someone waltzes in and smashes it back down again. I feel like just hiding from the world

He is the one with the problem, not you! Don't feel sick, humiliated nor offended. Either forget it, report it (if you feel you have to) or better still you should have laughed at him.

Don't feel worthless, you always come across as kind on here, and I think many people like you. Be strong and have faith in yourself.

 

[Muppet]

Struggling here. Really stressed and really busy with work due to the festive season. I'm rushed off my feet and I keep getting calls or emails asking me to do more work and I'm too soft to say no. I've got a load of tension knots in my shoulders as I'm not relaxing enough so they are really hurting. Someone has been making me feel uncomfortable with sexual messages despite me spelling out quite clearly that I am not interested. Yesterday he exposed himself to me. I felt a mixture of sick, humiliated and offended. After the heartbreak last year when that bloke hurt me, I've been avoiding men this year. Even though I've not instigated anything, a bloke has still hurt me. I just feel like a piece of worthless trash. Every time I try and build my confidence back up, someone waltzes in and smashes it back down again. I feel like just hiding from the world

Right, the bloke...is this in real life or on a website? Jesus man, why do they do this...?! You have a right to be free from harassment. Report it! Don't engage with it, block it, report it and move on. Imagine being someone who gets their kicks doing that - they're the worthless piece of shit, not you.

Work - if you're not brave enough to do a full "no", can you come up with a response that palms them off without being a firm no? A sort of "my diary's a bit full right now, can I get back to you in a while?".

 

[becs]

Right, the bloke...is this in real life or on a website? Jesus man, why do they do this...?! You have a right to be free from harassment. Report it! Don't engage with it, block it, report it and move on. Imagine being someone who gets their kicks doing that - they're the worthless piece of shit, not you.

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

 

[Flash Gordon]

Struggling here. Really stressed and really busy with work due to the festive season. I'm rushed off my feet and I keep getting calls or emails asking me to do more work and I'm too soft to say no. I've got a load of tension knots in my shoulders as I'm not relaxing enough so they are really hurting. Someone has been making me feel uncomfortable with sexual messages despite me spelling out quite clearly that I am not interested. Yesterday he exposed himself to me. I felt a mixture of sick, humiliated and offended. After the heartbreak last year when that bloke hurt me, I've been avoiding men this year. Even though I've not instigated anything, a bloke has still hurt me. I just feel like a piece of worthless trash. Every time I try and build my confidence back up, someone waltzes in and smashes it back down again. I feel like just hiding from the world

Becs, please don't ever feel worthless. You are clearly a wonderful and caring woman, I know that because you go out of your way to help strangers on here like myself when we were at a low point. Your empathy and kindness shine through your words and I can only imagine the loved ones in your life see you as priceless rather than worthless.

This man is clearly the one with the problem, not you. There are ways to just block his number so you don't hear from him again or if you really want him to get his comeuppance, you could post his number on the smb and see what happens

 

[mackem_jo2]

Struggling here. Really stressed and really busy with work due to the festive season. I'm rushed off my feet and I keep getting calls or emails asking me to do more work and I'm too soft to say no. I've got a load of tension knots in my shoulders as I'm not relaxing enough so they are really hurting. Someone has been making me feel uncomfortable with sexual messages despite me spelling out quite clearly that I am not interested. Yesterday he exposed himself to me. I felt a mixture of sick, humiliated and offended. After the heartbreak last year when that bloke hurt me, I've been avoiding men this year. Even though I've not instigated anything, a bloke has still hurt me. I just feel like a piece of worthless trash. Every time I try and build my confidence back up, someone waltzes in and smashes it back down again. I feel like just hiding from the world

That's appalling Becs, you are certainly not worthless!! This bloke is the one with the issues, what a disgusting bastard. Can you block his number on your phone? Is there any way you can report him too?

I can understand how it's hard to say no to work, I think Muppets advice is good. A way to say no in more roundabout fashion. And just think, it's a sign of how brilliant and well thought of you are that people are so eager for you to work for them! You are a brilliant, kind hearted person & an awesome friend, don't let some arsehole make you feel otherwise.

 

[Scimmy]

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

This is surreal. How can a bloke cause a photo of his erection to appear on somebody else's phone unless the recipient okays it by answering his call?

 

[Porridge]

This is surreal. How can a bloke cause a photo of his erection to appear on somebody else's phone unless the recipient okays it by answering his call?

You don't have to answer the phone to get a picture text message.

The bloke is out of order...end of.

 

[Scimmy]

You don't have to answer the phone to get a picture text message.

The bloke is out of order...end of.

Obviously the bloke is out of order, I just didn't understand how he could do it. Can his number not be barred from Becs' phone?

 

[Muppet]

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

What a dick. Literally. Block him any way you can.

Or send him this:

Logon or register to see this image

 

[brains]

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

Please don't let this make you feel worthless. Like others have said, he is the one with the problem. The very fact that you are disgusted by his behaviour shows that you have a lot of self respect. Please try to just laugh at this bloke and block his number. No way at all should you be letting this bring you down....

 

[Crammy Mackem]

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

You're not foolish at all. It shows the good person you are that you felt the ability to trust some one enough to give them your mobile number. Unfortunately a lot of people out there are arseholes (cocks would have been a better insult, but perhaps not in this circumstance).

As others have said, block his number and/or report it. Just because its a phone doesnt make it any better than doing it in 'real life'.

 

[Charmless Man]

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

Is that not illegal anyway? Surely it must be, you can't go sending pictures of your bits to strangers like

People are just nobs (sorry to use that word). But you aren't.

 

[Porridge]

Obviously the bloke is out of order, I just didn't understand how he could do it. Can his number not be barred from Becs' phone?

It can, and presumably she has now blocked him but am assuming that as she had given her number to him she didn't expect him to be so much of a c**t!!

Just remember Becs, he has the problem not you.

You've done nothing wrong.

If you'd felt up to it the best reply is "Oooohhh it looks like a cock only smaller!"

 

[Charmless Man]

I'm not suggesting we go back to the days where mental illness is brushed under the carpet but I think we're becoming more mentally fragile as a people.

We're not. We're just exposed to a constant barrage of expectations on us, like never before in human history. I actually find it surprising that so many can ignore it.

People in impoverished parts of the globe don't tend to struggle in the ways we do because they don't have the constant weight of expectation to 'do more', they just have to survive. Success and failure mean totally different things and elicit totally different reactions.

 

[NewAdventuresInWiFi]

If you'd felt up to it the best reply is "Oooohhh it looks like a cock only smaller!"

"Had bigger"

Simple, blunt, & direct- like he clearly is in many ways.

His confidence & self respect would be at such a low ebb he'd feel like a Derby County fan in 2007/08 for a while nee doubt.

Is that not illegal anyway? Surely it must be, you can't go sending pictures of your bits to strangers like

People are just nobs (sorry to use that word). But you aren't.

Having had a more in depth thought about this scenario this afternoon I think a 'no words' reply would be more appropriate in this situation.

Just an innocent harmless image & a basic YouTube link should do the trick.

Logon or register to see this image

Yeah, yeah, I knar, I really should aim to grow up before I reach 40, etc

You've had it rough at times, don't feel bad posting here, it's important to hear both the downs and the ups of depression.

Oh I agree. And i will continue to no matter what, on reflection.

 

[haway]

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

It's illegal to send pictures of your dick. It's obscene communication or some offence I can't remember the name of. If you have an iPhone you can go in phone settings and block the number. You can also block him off dating sites, Facebook or whatever.

I met a girl about a year ago on a dating site and got in a sticky situation. After three dates she said she loved me, that she wanted me to meet her parents, telling me the most personal details of her past relationships. One day I couldn't see her (we hadn't arranged to meet up or anything) and she started literally crying for me to come and see her. Was scary intense too quick. Tried slowing things down, she flipped out, so I blocked her on all forms of contact.

I wouldn't feel bad about it. For probably about half of men on dating sites they resort to sending pictures of their peckers when they have nothing else to say. It's partly due to this fantasy a lot of guys have that you send picture of you shlong and a woman will be like 'wow, what an amazing masculine penis you have! I will definitely sleep with you!' The number of females on plenty of fish who have on their profile 'no pictures of your dick please' is testament to that.

As has been said, it's not your fault.

 

[Hongkongphooey]

Got talking on a website but not a dating one and foolishly gave him my mobile number. He'd texted and I said I was very busy at work. I'm busy in a call and all of a sudden there's an erection filling my screen. If he'd walked into the store I was working in and shown me, he'd be arrested so I can't fathom out why he thought it was ok to send it to my phone. I use my phone heavily in stores at work and I can't have unsolicited penises appearing on it when I'm busy among customers or showing store staff members work related documents on it. If he'd asked, I would have said no I don't want to ever see it.

Disgusting that, especially when you try to help people and that's what you get in return

 

[mackem_jo2]

How's everyone doing? @becs I hope everything is better for you and the idiot has been blocked!

I'm doing ok at the moment, felt more stable than i have in a long time though it's difficult to trust these feelings after being so poorly for so long that the depression starts to feel like your normality. I could do with everyone crossing their fingers for me at the moment though, I'm ill with my chest at the moment so I have to take steroids. Sadly steroids can have a really bad effect on bipolar so I'm worrying myself sick that all the progress I've made in the last few months is going to go totally to waste. Here's hoping I can get through this unscathed.