I've been in two minds about whether to post in this thread, but I'm inspired and humbled by some of the experiences so here's my two pennorth.
After 5 clear years, stress and anxiety hit me like a hammer in October. After about 3 weeks of trying to deny it to myself and everyone else and pass it off as tiredness my body just gave up and I could barely do anything. The doctor at first insisted that I didn't need any medication, and it wasn't until i almost collapsed when I took the bairn to see the Christmas lights switch-on that my wife finally accepted something was wrong and sent me back to the doc. Anyway after a rough few months and the quietest Christmas I've ever had (I missed MON's first game which broke my heart, when Vaughan's goal went in I could have cried that I'd missed it), I thought I'd turned the corner, and arranged to go back to work. I go back on Thursday and the thought of the bus, then the metro to Newcastle is filling me with dread.
I'm going to go though, anxieties arse won't kick itself!
good books the, hav read themIt's really awful shit. If we're all recommending books and stuff about it, then I'd recommend the two Black Dog books by Matthew Johnstone:
They'll each take about 10 minutes to read, but it's the best material I've ever read about the subject.
I've had two really bad depressive episodes in my life. Both lasted about 2 months, and one had a clear reason behind it, and one - very recently - didn't, really. I think the sentiment is fantastic that people say they want to look out for signs of depression in others and to help them when that happens but, at least as far as I'm concerned, I think the kindest thing you can do is just to let people who mean something to you know that that's the case, whether they're prone to depression or not. Obviously the episodic bouts are something else, but I don't think there's a clear dividing line between depressed / not depressed and even when I'm not bad, as I'm not most of the time, it's nice to feel that you're valued. The only thing that brought me out of my second bad spell was realising that loads of people cared about me, that they loved me. I just needed to be told.
I think he just meant that he's got better coping skills regarding the bumps that come along in life. While not being a guarantee of anything, shirley that does give him a greater degree of "protection" than someone who's less able to cope?I'm a Cognitive Therapist, and work with a number of clients suffering from depression. If anyone is looking for a specific CBT book on depression, I would heartily recommend this one.
The courage and honesty on this thread has been fantastic. The only thing I would take issue with is Kev SAFc FTM's post 502 about him being a strong personality and his depressed wife a lot softer. I know it's difficult to come across clearly in an impersonal medium like emails, but despite your obvious geunine concern for your wife, such strong/weak cliches simply replicate the problem. Depression is nothing at all to do with weakness. It is a set of thinking patterns and/or a genetic/physiological condition. You wouldn't call someone weak if they had diabetes, nor would the likes of Alistair Campbell or Ricky Hatton normally be dismissed as oversensitive pushovers.
With all sincere respect, it is the stereotypical, uninformed view that depression is indeed just a personality weakness that makes sufferers often too ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help, with often tragic consequences.
Incidentally, if anyone is struggling with this issue, feel free to send me a pm and I will try to point you in the right direction for support.
Just do it mate, just do it.definately the best thing to do, i moved out into the countryside down south away from all my friends and family to have a bit of time to sort myself out. the hardest part is letting loved ones know without feeling like a bit of an attention seeker. worst thing about it for me is that in third world countries theres people struggling to survive and yet i cant even enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
things have definately been improving the last six months, ive also found i stop getting nostalgia so much and can look back fondly on the past without feeling the best days are gone. nostalgia is a sign of minor depression imo.
this is probably the biggest step anyone can take, before you can begin to try to sort anything out you have to admit that you have a problem.Miss Robinson likes this a lot
My mate has finally admitted the problem , the change in her is breathtaking - one life , make it count
I have an inclination to secretly strangle nuns should I give into it or fight it?ayesane said:no but you have an inclination to get depressed, is what I mean. It's no different to those who have been diagnosed with depression.
An intersting link from that to these two articles:A good article on men's mental health in The Guardian yesterday