Depression

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legolas'coolerbrother

Central Defender
Have taken the step of going on the sick from work tomorrow as a first step toward trying to sort my head out and give myself some much needed breathing space. Was beginning to lose all hope and even thinking about how I was going to end it all. Have finally accepted that the job I am doing is doing me more harm than good and is not what it was when I entered the career. Bloody terrifying though it is, it is time to step back and explore other options before I cannot get out of the dark hole I am in now. It is just a job and not the be all and end all.
Funnily enough I feel a hell of a lot more positive this weekend just because I have tried to take some kind of control back. Not looking forward to going in and telling the boss my decision in the morning but I would rather tell her face to face than ring in or get someone else to do it.
Going to start exercising properly again and take some quality time (although not falling into the trap of just ignoring everything and slobbing about feeling sorry for myself which I may have done in the past).
Thanks to all on here who have posted their thoughts about what is going on with them - there has been a lot of very erudite and sensible stuff on here lately - which is amazing considering a lot of the boolox which is normally here! ;)
 

KEV_SAFC_FTM

Midfield
Quite a pertinent thread this as my Mrs is currently depressed and is due to see a doctor about it this week. The Mrs last went through a bout of depression about 10 years ago but managed to overcome it after a few months and has been fine since.

We're struggling now with 2 young kids, work commitments, money and lack of sleep but I have quite a strong personality where not much phases me, whereas my Mrs is alot softer and does not have the same coping mechanisms.

It's hard watching her and not being able to help. I try to be supportive and not be argumentative but sometimes there's only so much you can take before it gets to you and you snap.

It may have already been covered on this thread but I haven't had time to read through it. Anyone able to give any advice?
 

Titus

Striker
Have taken the step of going on the sick from work tomorrow as a first step toward trying to sort my head out and give myself some much needed breathing space. Was beginning to lose all hope and even thinking about how I was going to end it all. Have finally accepted that the job I am doing is doing me more harm than good and is not what it was when I entered the career. Bloody terrifying though it is, it is time to step back and explore other options before I cannot get out of the dark hole I am in now. It is just a job and not the be all and end all.
Funnily enough I feel a hell of a lot more positive this weekend just because I have tried to take some kind of control back. Not looking forward to going in and telling the boss my decision in the morning but I would rather tell her face to face than ring in or get someone else to do it.
Going to start exercising properly again and take some quality time (although not falling into the trap of just ignoring everything and slobbing about feeling sorry for myself which I may have done in the past).
Thanks to all on here who have posted their thoughts about what is going on with them - there has been a lot of very erudite and sensible stuff on here lately - which is amazing considering a lot of the boolox which is normally here! ;)
I think I really need to find a way to spend free time when I'm not training. I just sit around doing fuck all and that's when I start to feel like shit.
 
Probably one of the most profound and genuinely touching threads ever to have graced this board. It's not often I sit and read 50 odd pages from beginning to end, the stories related on here just show the real diversity of the people that frequent this little corner of the web, and how lots of people who lead very different lives can be touched by the same thing.

For those who have shared their fight against depression I'm sure it's been a great help to both you, and also to others to know they are not alone out there. The best thing though about this thread though is that there will be people out there who read this and that will think 'it won't/couldn't happen to me'. Well it just might well do, and if it does, think about what you have read on here, and seek help at the earliest possible opportunity.

Once again I take my hat off to the many open and honest contributors to this eye opening thread.
 

safcrhys.

Winger
1 in 5 people will suffer from depression/anxiety at some point in their lives, if you take into account serious mental health problems like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder then it is 1 in 4.

I had what I would call a reasonably normal childhood, however, my mother and father split up in July 2007 and it really affected my psychologically in a way I just couldn't comprehend at the time. I was 15 and it shook my world, especially the manner in which my Mam left my Dad, although I won't go into that.

Anyway, I bottled and repressed two key emotions, anger and sorrow, I never cried even though inside I was in pieces. This manifested itself into an anxiety disorder and within six months of my mother and father divorcing I was having panic attacks at school.

Thankfully I managed to beat anxiety, only for it to come back with a vengeance in December 2010, Its much worse than last time and over a year later I am still struggling with it, I have made improvements but there is no quick fix, hopefully in maybe another year's time I will be back to my old self again.

There is nothing worse than mental torture, physical pain just doesn't come close, there is no quick fix either, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
 

Peegee

Midfield
1 in 5 people will suffer from depression/anxiety at some point in their lives, if you take into account serious mental health problems like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder then it is 1 in 4.

I had what I would call a reasonably normal childhood, however, my mother and father split up in July 2007 and it really affected my psychologically in a way I just couldn't comprehend at the time. I was 15 and it shook my world, especially the manner in which my Mam left my Dad, although I won't go into that.

Anyway, I bottled and repressed two key emotions, anger and sorrow, I never cried even though inside I was in pieces. This manifested itself into an anxiety disorder and within six months of my mother and father divorcing I was having panic attacks at school.

Thankfully I managed to beat anxiety, only for it to come back with a vengeance in December 2010, Its much worse than last time and over a year later I am still struggling with it, I have made improvements but there is no quick fix, hopefully in maybe another year's time I will be back to my old self again.

There is nothing worse than mental torture, physical pain just doesn't come close, there is no quick fix either, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
How did you overcome your anxiety first time round? Oh and join the message board I just set up earlier today :p

http://depressionunited.proforums.com
 

safcrhys.

Winger
How did you overcome your anxiety first time round? Oh and join the message board I just set up earlier today :p

http://depressionunited.proforums.com
The strange thing is, I am not really sure how I overcame it mate, wish I bloody knew as I would put the method into practice right now!

It's health anxiety that I struggled with, I remember always freaking out about my eyes. I remember in September 2008 I was terrified I was going blind and made a FIFTH appointment in 2 months to see the optician. After being told that my eyes were fine again, I think it sort of sunk in. I started College and lost myself in the work, being distracted was a great help. I went from being a blubbering wreck in early September 2008 to completely recovered by the time we beat the Mags 2-1 in late October.

As I say though, its been a lot worse this time, I've only just turned 20 aswell, really gets me down when I see all my mates going out and enjoying themselves without a care in the world.
 

yorkyexile

Striker
Quite a pertinent thread this as my Mrs is currently depressed and is due to see a doctor about it this week. The Mrs last went through a bout of depression about 10 years ago but managed to overcome it after a few months and has been fine since.

We're struggling now with 2 young kids, work commitments, money and lack of sleep but I have quite a strong personality where not much phases me, whereas my Mrs is alot softer and does not have the same coping mechanisms.

It's hard watching her and not being able to help. I try to be supportive and not be argumentative but sometimes there's only so much you can take before it gets to you and you snap.

It may have already been covered on this thread but I haven't had time to read through it. Anyone able to give any advice?
Not sure what to tell you to be honest, other than as the rest of the thread points out be careful with that train of thought,otherwise you might find out that your strong personality and coping mechanisms arent as good a defence as you thought they were. I thought that once over and am now struggling.Admittedly nowhere near as bad as some on here have it but struggling all the same.

Best of luck with it to both you and your mrs
 

Titus

Striker
Not sure what to tell you to be honest, other than as the rest of the thread points out be careful with that train of thought,otherwise you might find out that your strong personality and coping mechanisms arent as good a defence as you thought they were. I thought that once over and am now struggling.Admittedly nowhere near as bad as some on here have it but struggling all the same.

Best of luck with it to both you and your mrs
Same. When I was younger I went through quite a bad bit of stress and depression problems, causing all types of shit. Years went past where bouts were practically non existant and I thought that I was 'over it'. Probably why it's came back to bite me on the arse so frequently.
 

Bad_mother

Striker
Quite a pertinent thread this as my Mrs is currently depressed and is due to see a doctor about it this week. The Mrs last went through a bout of depression about 10 years ago but managed to overcome it after a few months and has been fine since.

We're struggling now with 2 young kids, work commitments, money and lack of sleep but I have quite a strong personality where not much phases me, whereas my Mrs is alot softer and does not have the same coping mechanisms.

It's hard watching her and not being able to help. I try to be supportive and not be argumentative but sometimes there's only so much you can take before it gets to you and you snap.

It may have already been covered on this thread but I haven't had time to read through it. Anyone able to give any advice?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Black-Dog-Partner-Depressed/dp/1905410107 is a reasonable read for anyone living with a partner with depression.... it explains it quite well... The main advice is that "it's not your fault, and take care of yourself too so you can care for her"

Going to start exercising properly again and take some quality time (although not falling into the trap of just ignoring everything and slobbing about feeling sorry for myself which I may have done in the past).
...is a good plan

Exercise doesn't have to be strenuously pounding the streets in shorts either... I used to plug in my ipod and just go somewhere quiet and pretty to walk - the beach or some countryside... springtime's quite a positive time too so if you can't be arsed with the ipod - perhaps take a camera and look for good photos ?

Sounds like you made a good decision - please keep us posted and good luck
 

yorkyexile

Striker
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Black-Dog-Partner-Depressed/dp/1905410107 is a reasonable read for anyone living with a partner with depression.... it explains it quite well... The main advice is that "it's not your fault, and take care of yourself too so you can care for her"



...is a good plan

Exercise doesn't have to be strenuously pounding the streets in shorts either... I used to plug in my ipod and just go somewhere quiet and pretty to walk - the beach or some countryside... springtime's quite a positive time too so if you can't be arsed with the ipod - perhaps take a camera and look for good photos ?

Sounds like you made a good decision - please keep us posted and good luck
ipod on and and away round the local parks on a bike with the kids.Nowt strenous but it helps somewhat
 

yorkyexile

Striker
anything outdoors and in the daylight is good :cool:
Think its just outdoors to be honest.Probably doent help because im in other folks houses all day and in mine on a night so from monday morning till friday night never really get to be in the fresh air. Mind tonights crap with the fog but i love being out when its frosty and clear like it has been the last few nights, and out in snow as well always lifts me a bit for some reason
 

Shaw tarse

Winger
Walking the dogs certainly helps me don't really think of anything
when walking them, i have 3 a bichon freise a border terrier and beagle.
I have recently got the beagle into sent tracking and that is great for me
to see the dog using its natural instinct to get a reward really clears
the old nogen.
I also have a mate who hunts with hawks and have been out with him
a few times now watching the birds in flight at close quarters really
relaxed me.
The dogs seem to have a knack if i am down of lifting my mood although
having 3 dogs trying to lie next to on you kick you off the couch can be
trying:-D
 

The Infinite Sadness

Central Defender
ipod on and and away round the local parks on a bike with the kids.Nowt strenous but it helps somewhat
definately the best thing to do, i moved out into the countryside down south away from all my friends and family to have a bit of time to sort myself out. the hardest part is letting loved ones know without feeling like a bit of an attention seeker. worst thing about it for me is that in third world countries theres people struggling to survive and yet i cant even enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

things have definately been improving the last six months, ive also found i stop getting nostalgia so much and can look back fondly on the past without feeling the best days are gone. nostalgia is a sign of minor depression imo.
 

joemcdokes

Striker
Chocolate and wanking, could be better doing both at the same time unless being fat depresses you, if so just double the wanking dosage and go for a jog.

Yeah I know this is a serious thread but I was watching some programme about comedians last night and one bloke who had a son dying of cancer when asked what his sons last wish was said to the representative from Make a Wish, 'He wants to see me being blown by Dolly Parton'.

They gave him a strange look and said, 'What about Disneyland' and he replied, 'I don't care where she does it' or something similar.

His son was only 11 and heard everything he said, he understood what he meant and started laughing about it.

Cannot remember the comedians name but his sons death was only part of loads of heartache in his life and he managed to cope with it through his humour.

I honestly believe once you lose that part of your persona you are fecked and there cannot possibly be anything more heart breaking and depressing than losing a child.
 

Paddy O'Dors

Striker
Chocolate and wanking, could be better doing both at the same time unless being fat depresses you, if so just double the wanking dosage and go for a jog.

Yeah I know this is a serious thread but I was watching some programme about comedians last night and one bloke who had a son dying of cancer when asked what his sons last wish was said to the representative from Make a Wish, 'He wants to see me being blown by Dolly Parton'.

They gave him a strange look and said, 'What about Disneyland' and he replied, 'I don't care where she does it' or something similar.

His son was only 11 and heard everything he said, he understood what he meant and started laughing about it.

Cannot remember the comedians name but his sons death was only part of loads of heartache in his life and he managed to cope with it through his humour.

I honestly believe once you lose that part of your persona you are fecked and there cannot possibly be anything more heart breaking and depressing than losing a child.
My mum's lost two. :-(
 

joemcdokes

Striker
Fucking hell :cry:

If I lost one I'd be suicidal like

I couldn't handle it
Well I've got two, so I'd have to stay strong for my wife and remaining child, two I'd have to be strong for my wife.
That is how I have it embedded in my mind, wouldn't have it any other way.

I've had loads of scenarios going around in my head over the years and I look at them and try to keep a positive rather than negative outlook on them.

I did actually think about what if it was all three only last week, it's a strange one, I would've lost the most important people in my life but I'd not have anyone who depended on me anymore.

In that situation I'd have no idea which way I'd go.

Wheres that chocolate..? :lol:
 

blamethedead

Central Defender
I've been in two minds about whether to post in this thread, but I'm inspired and humbled by some of the experiences so here's my two pennorth.
After 5 clear years, stress and anxiety hit me like a hammer in October. After about 3 weeks of trying to deny it to myself and everyone else and pass it off as tiredness my body just gave up and I could barely do anything. The doctor at first insisted that I didn't need any medication, and it wasn't until i almost collapsed when I took the bairn to see the Christmas lights switch-on that my wife finally accepted something was wrong and sent me back to the doc. Anyway after a rough few months and the quietest Christmas I've ever had (I missed MON's first game which broke my heart, when Vaughan's goal went in I could have cried that I'd missed it), I thought I'd turned the corner, and arranged to go back to work. I go back on Thursday and the thought of the bus, then the metro to Newcastle is filling me with dread.
I'm going to go though, anxieties arse won't kick itself! :lol:
 
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