Depression

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Talk to your GP about what you've got coming up at work and I am sure he/she will take that into account when prescribing treatment. It's great you've made the decision to go and see the doc. Hope all works out for you.
 


The anti depressants wont solve all your problems though but they will relieve that deep seated feeling inside you that makes you immobile and stuck in an low emotional rut.
 
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agreed - talk to the GP and tell him what you've said here...
Medication's not the only option, but do stick to your guns and ask about other managing strategies.

mackem_jo2 said:
It doesn't affect me TOO much to be honest, it's a terrible thing to say but having a few pints is the sometimes the only thing that keeps me 'OUT THERE' when I'd rather be hiding at home.... i must stress that it's a 'dutch courage' type thing rather than anything sinister!! like Janie said, it just helps push away the silly paranoia and nerves sometimes.
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bit of this really...in moderation it helps me be less internalised and a bit more "life & soul-ish"... the person I'd like to be. (Moderation being the key word)

I realise it is a depressant and try and stop drinking so much when I'm having a bad episode.

However I do find that it helps my brain to shut up and calm down - part of my issue is anxiety, so it kind of quells it and helps me sleep. Get proper insomnia and restlessness if I don't have a nightcap :oops: Yeah... I know it's not a good thing...
 
Lanchesterredandwhite said:
A question for those who are being treated for this (which I've now accepted I need to do, and that feels like a big step which I may not have made without this thread). Anyway, I'd happily pick up the phone and make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and start the ball rolling in addressing this.

But I'm really worried about being put on medication right now for a number of reasons. I will have to go through a redundancy selection process (ie interviews) at work the week after next. I can't allow anything to get in the way of my preparation for that, I can't afford to lose any sharpness I can muster for that. I'm also worried, if I don't get a job (or the job I want), about the impact in terms of applying for other jobs, if I am obliged to say what treatment I was undergoing.

I realise I am jumping the gun and for all I know may not need medication.

I also accept that I can't keep putting off getting help. I must take after my Dad, who when advised he was having a heart attack and needed to go to hospital, said that was fine, but he had to wait for 48 hours because he had important meetings at work. :eek::lol::oops:

But I'm interested in SMBer experience: is there anything to worry about in terms of where seeking help will lead in terms of my ability to get through the next couple of weeks, hopefully successfully but at least in one piece?! It just feels like starting the ball rolling may lead anywhere, and not at the best time.

PM me if it works better for you.
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a lot is going to depend on how deep the depression is.
there are many lower dosage meds out there you could ask to try first (apparently the dose i am on is pretty high according to the chemist) side effects are still very much a part of them and some have lists of 'possibles' that might scare you off.
a doc will most likely give any medication at least a month to get into your system and could wait 3 months to see how they work.
probably the most common side effect i have heard through talking to people is the dry mouth, usually the first and most noticable.
others sound like they contradict themselves (tiredness and not sleeping, can cause drowsiness) but most of them you will not get.
i would liken the meds to the guys down the pub, one guy could drink a couple of pints and be rat-arsed while another could drink 15 pints and still look sober, in other words you never know until you try so it is really difficult to offer any sound guidelines.
 
SuperKevin said:
I have had a better day today.

I was told by my GP that I would have 'no good days'. I thought at the time that this was harsh but he keeps saying that I have taken his words out of context.

I actually consider most of the days in my life to be 'good' nowadays. From what people have told me most people wouldn't agree with that, but I am content. I understand that I don't live a 'normal' life, but I am a lot more content than several years ago when I was trying to force myself to a live a life that I am incapable of.
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What is normal...?
Life brings different things to your door everyday, some are not prepared for it, others cope with whatever comes their way.

Depression becomes a state of mind, someone mentioned earlier about getting up and making a cup of coffee, finding there was no milk and thinking whats the point and going back to bed.

That is how it becomes embedded, we all know how many other options there are to that situation but when people are depressed they never really look any deeper than the easiest option.

It's that state of mind that needs changing and until they can get to that point, they will always go back to bed.

You will have had a turning point at sometime that made you think that little bit differently, sometimes that is all it takes.
 
Quite a brilliant yet sad thread this.

I've gone through a fairly traumatic experience with my family and have been struggling for a while now. 5 years ago my Dad had a breakdown and walked out and we have been estranged ever since, although I recently made contact and met him to try and put things back together.

My Mam naturally was in bits as was my sister and brother and I've found it really tough being away from them but at the same time going back home is terrifying as it forces me to face reality and huge rows usually ensue.

I'm not sure if I'm actually depressed or not, I probably am. It's affected a few of my family including both my parents. My Mam is adamant that I am and that I should seek counselling and/or CBT but I've not done so so far. I know she's proud of how I've coped so far though. I've gone from being someone who was renowned for smiling and being happy to someone who can feel very down and awful in the company of some of the closest people to me and who doesn't really want to go out because being on my own is 'easier'. It's a constant numbness where things that ordinarily I would take pleasure from just leave me feeling totally empty and the smallest things become huge issues in my mind.

Three of my grandparents died in the space of a few years, my Dad left just after my Mam's Dads' funeral and his parents passed away in the couple of years prior to him leaving so I've gone from having a large and very close knit family to gradually feeling like I am completely alone with no family or friends around and no one to lean on. It's not really true of course, but feeling like this you don't think clearly or rationally. I'm realising now it just means I have to work a bit harder to get what I want out of it.

I've not gone to the doctors as I don't want to take medication and don't feel like I have the patience for counselling. I've tried to get on with it as best I can and to an extent it's worked. I definitely think I'm getting better, but it can still knock me sideways when I least expect it. At my sister in law's wedding over the summer for example, one of their family friends made a comment, probably innocently and in jest, but it just floored me inside, I kept smiling on the outside but quietly took myself off for a few hours and sat on my own till my lass came to find me. I felt absolutely terrible but she sat with me for a while and eventually persuaded me to come back, within 20 minutes I was on the dance floor being the life and soul of the party as I was terrified at the thought of people thinking there was something wrong with me or that I was being 'miserable'.

I can look back and pinpoint certain times and events that have had quite a profound effect on where I am now. I have fairly severe back pain on and off from a motorbike accident (I think) which gets me down. I've smoked cannabis quite heavily for the last 7 or 8 years and I know this has a negative effect. I don't sleep properly so get very tired and bad tempered. I don't get things done and am not nearly as active as I was as a teenager when I was always out and about, playing football and being with mates, and this frustrates me immensely.

But at the same time weed serves as an escape from both physical pain and the pain of reality. Similarly with this place, I love reading about SAFC and fellow supporters opinions and so on, but I guess it serves as an escape.

I've lost touch with a lot of my mates, they probably got sick of me behaving weirdly or whatever, although I am trying to get back in touch with a couple of them. I'm lucky that my lass is an absolute gem and has stood by me through all of it, she's gone way above and beyond the call of duty for me.

We were discussing this thread before and wondered whether the breakdown of society has played a part in more people becoming depressed. I saw an old black and white picture recently, can't remember where but it was a big long trestle table in the street and there were loads of people sat having food celebrating something or other. I thought nowadays you would struggle to find that. Don't know if it's just me but that community spirit seems to have decreased and getting out and about and being with people, fresh air and exercise are passed over in favour of sitting in and watching tv or being on the internet.

Like other people have mentioned it's staggering how many regular posters have contributed, people who you wouldn't suspect would be suffering, but there again I shouldn't be surprised at all because as people have quite rightly pointed out it's those who outwardly are fine that seem to be affected the most, I know that is certainly the case with me.

Anyway, apologies for rambling on, it does feel quite good to share and get it off my chest in a manner of speaking. I often think I'm so lucky and have got so much to be thankful for, how dare I feel this way....I should stop feeling sorry for myself and pull myself together, but I can't help it.

This is the first time I've really opened up about this and put my thoughts down in writing. I've considered starting a thread on here before now but decided against it because of the reactions I thought it would get and part of the problem is when you don't really think anything's wrong with you, asking for help feels like you're attention seeking and looking for sympathy. This thread has finally made me do it.

I fully understand the cathartic purposes of writing a blog etc and to everyone who has contributed here who is struggling I wish you all the very best and a full and speedy recovery and to the OP I hope you find a way of talking about things with your mates.
 
SuperKevin said:
I am not trying to annoy anyone.

If anyone uses the website ASD Forum or Wrong Planet I will private message you. I am a prominent poster on ASD and a smaller poster on Wrong Planet.

Alternatively if people would prefer I did not post on this thread, I will also do that. I understand that my issues are different to most on this thread. I do not want to derail what has been a good thread to read and hopefully helpful for people.
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You may or may not be on a wind up (not sure why a Liverpool supporter would call themselves SuperKevin like) but, if not, just keep posting and accept that you'll get a few idiotic responses, because that's what idiots do.
 
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer is to get a dog.

We got one just as my wife started to get really ill and the past year and a half would have been considerably worse without the pup. Treat it well and you’ll have a friend for life who will never snap at you even though you’re feeling awful, who will always be there for you and attentive in their own way when it counts, who will give you an enormous sense of well being and affirm your life as you watch them grow and do their thing and just ‘be’. Our boy can be quite aloof at times but the second he knows something is wrong with my wife he’ll stop whatever he’s doing, come along and sit by her feet, or climb onto her, lick her tears away.

Helps with a routine as well, feeding them, walking them and so forth. It's surprising how much difference that twenty minutes exercise a day makes over time, in terms of shape, and both physical and mental health.

Lanchesterredandwhite said:
A question for those who are being treated for this (which I've now accepted I need to do, and that feels like a big step which I may not have made without this thread). Anyway, I'd happily pick up the phone and make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and start the ball rolling in addressing this.

But I'm really worried about being put on medication right now for a number of reasons. I will have to go through a redundancy selection process (ie interviews) at work the week after next. I can't allow anything to get in the way of my preparation for that, I can't afford to lose any sharpness I can muster for that. I'm also worried, if I don't get a job (or the job I want), about the impact in terms of applying for other jobs, if I am obliged to say what treatment I was undergoing.

I realise I am jumping the gun and for all I know may not need medication.

I also accept that I can't keep putting off getting help. I must take after my Dad, who when advised he was having a heart attack and needed to go to hospital, said that was fine, but he had to wait for 48 hours because he had important meetings at work. :eek::lol::oops:

But I'm interested in SMBer experience: is there anything to worry about in terms of where seeking help will lead in terms of my ability to get through the next couple of weeks, hopefully successfully but at least in one piece?! It just feels like starting the ball rolling may lead anywhere, and not at the best time.

PM me if it works better for you.
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Depending on how long it all goes on for you could be covered under the Disability Discrimination Act, in which case you're very well protected. I'm not entirely sure but I think in the majority of cases questions about medication and employment are in the same bracket as race and employment or religion i.e they shouldn't be asking you and you can get them in trouble if they do.

Citizens Advice Bureau should be able to help clarify things, or a Union, or a Mental Health Advocacy service. In my experience the laws for protecting people with Mental Health difficulties is actually very strong, but they're just noit very well known/enforced. But they are there and if you know them you'll be in a strong position.
 
Rovers said:
I know, was in to hospital as an out-patient today and talked about it with my doctor.

Think I'm going to just start going on walks in the evening around 5/6 as this is when I get really tired. What I used to try was go hell-for-leather on the exercise, maybe twice in 3/4 days, feel shattered and then stop doing it. Gradually building up with walking, light jogging, cycling is the way I'm going now I think. I used to be fit and involved in sport so I was never one for going out for a 'walk' as exercise, what 22 year old lad is.
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Rovers - I'm really pleased you posted this, I was worried about you.
And any exercise counts - start small and achievable :)

sonson said:
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer is to get a dog.

We got one just as my wife started to get really ill and the past year and a half would have been considerably worse without the pup. Treat it well and you’ll have a friend for life who will never snap at you even though you’re feeling awful, who will always be there for you and attentive in their own way when it counts, who will give you an enormous sense of well being and affirm your life as you watch them grow and do their thing and just ‘be’. Our boy can be quite aloof at times but the second he knows something is wrong with my wife he’ll stop whatever he’s doing, come along and sit by her feet, or climb onto her, lick her tears away.

Helps with a routine as well, feeding them, walking them and so forth. It's surprising how much difference that twenty minutes exercise a day makes over time, in terms of shape, and both physical and mental health
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that's part of the reason I got my horse... I was in a dark dark place at the time and needed a reason to get out of bed. He's great... was unbroken when I got him and we've grown together into a great partnership (apart from when he's being a twat and treading on my feet)

Plus his mane's really absorbent when I want a git big cry....
 
The advice about the dog for me is spot on i have
three and as said feeding walking etc gives my mind
something, to focus on and on a weekend i can spend hours
out with the dogs realy helps clear my head.
 
SPUFF said:
Astounding the numbers affected, but love the bravery and the kind worsds people are offering.

Was discussing with our lass, obviously in say the 70s/80s this would be more or lee unheard of yet people faced far harder lives (imo) than we face now.

Would you say people were made of sterner stuff then or hid it better?

Id say both, but I also say proper neighbours/colleagues would assist families then. Every kernts just out for themselves now (Thatchers Britain as Paddy would say).
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They pass it off as the person being "bad with their nerves", as said earlier in the thread, my mam's "nerves" cost her her marriage to my dad.
 
my mums side of the family suffers from depression, it's a chemical inbalance in the brain of seratonin... depression can be both an unpreventable illness or something you develop... indeed wouldn't wanna wish it on anyone, sister almost took her life not long ago
 
sonson said:
One of the best pieces of advice I can offer is to get a dog.

We got one just as my wife started to get really ill and the past year and a half would have been considerably worse without the pup. Treat it well and you’ll have a friend for life who will never snap at you even though you’re feeling awful, who will always be there for you and attentive in their own way when it counts, who will give you an enormous sense of well being and affirm your life as you watch them grow and do their thing and just ‘be’. Our boy can be quite aloof at times but the second he knows something is wrong with my wife he’ll stop whatever he’s doing, come along and sit by her feet, or climb onto her, lick her tears away.

Helps with a routine as well, feeding them, walking them and so forth. It's surprising how much difference that twenty minutes exercise a day makes over time, in terms of shape, and both physical and mental health.
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Dog number 1 (number 2 came later but I love her to bits too) is the only reason I stayed sane through the last bout of depression I had - when the GP was playing mind games and lying to me and I had zero quality of life and was just existing. Mind you - helps that the dog is the stupidest-looking bastard you'd ever hope to see and you can't look at his face without bursting into giggles - but he seriously did keep me from topping myself on more than one occasion through the lowest of it all.

The toxic farts proved a massive distraction from everything as well - but one I could do without. He's very very emotionally astute though - head will be in your lap within seconds of you starting to feel wobbly - cracking lil dude that one.
 
YorkMackem said:
They pass it off as the person being "bad with their nerves", as said earlier in the thread, my mam's "nerves" cost her her marriage to my dad.
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I agree with this - it was just hidden or passed off as something else. Or kept totally quiet about.

My Dad struggled with mental health issues for years - we all passed him off as being a moody git.

My Mam was on medication - we passed it off as her going through the change.

My grandparents on one side both had real mental health problems and we passed them off as a bit of a joke.

My uncle on the other side killed himself - we just thought it was sad (except when we were laughing about it). :neutral:
 
Ive been feeling better last couple of days, getting the panicky/anxious feeling a bit more under control and feel more focused. This time a couple of weeks ago I was in a right state after months of gradual decline but after much dithering I eventually had to hold my hands up and admit defeat. I knew what was happening and got it sorted. Being back on the medication recently has been a huge starting point, it makes a difference believe me.

I'd urge anyone who feels similar to do something about it, dont try and fight it yourself or bury your head in the sand, get help, your not alone. Because I have to be honest, just up until recently I had practically given up all hope of even attempting to feel happy and didnt feel like living. And nobody wants to feel like that
 
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