Daft Things Lasses Say #86778-2

[Linny]

Watching The Virtues the other day:

'How do they manage to get the footage of them as kids?'

She's been teaching for fourteen years...

 

[safcforever]

Driving along the A1, wipers going.
Her....."What's that aftershave you've got on ?"
Me......"Screenwash"

Surely that belongs in daft things men wear as aftershave

"Eeee look at those sheep."

They were caravans

I overheard a women point to some cows and say “mmmmm pork chops”

 

[jayjaysafc]

Did you all choose these women? Or did they choose you?
Or was it a case of being really easy to get them in the sack?

 

[Ronan Harazi's Leg]

Honestly man, sat here having breakfast and my lass tells me the following:

Her: Charlton are odds on favourites for today

Me: Really?

Her: yeah, they're 1 slash one

Me: evens you mean?

Her: yeah, and we're 10 to 11 to win. Means you'd have to put 11 pound on to get 10 back

Jesus wept...

 

[Mackem Dave]

I overheard a women point to some cows and say “mmmmm pork chops”

 

[c032745y]

Did you all choose these women? Or did they choose you?
Or was it a case of being really easy to get them in the sack?

Lots of intelligent women are prone to these comments, man. There's already a paramedic & a teacher mentioned on here. My missus (no) does it all the time & she runs the business & commercial side of a small business, very well. Watching Pointless is a tremendous education especially when anything on world geography is involved.

Name a country that borders France

Contestant "Spain"

Missus "Spain doesn't border France, Spain's hot, France is close to us & it's freezing here..."

 

[Albay3037]

While lying in bed watching TV, wife dozing next me. Overheard her mumbling and talking. Not picking up what she said.

Me: “Sorry what did you say?”

Her mumbled reply “wasn’t talking to you”

Ummmm What!?!?!

 

[Smartin]

“I heard the Mars landing was faked”

 

[taipeisafc]

Telling my wife this morning about a mate of mine in Taiwan who has a little farm and grew cocoa and coffee but didnt know what to do with it. Wife responded with "arent they the same thing", so explained they werent so she came back with "so there is no coffee in cocoa powder then?". She is smarter than me normally

 

[Big Toe]

It’s D. Ha ha.

Wouldn’t that be A

 

[MackemBob]

Wouldn’t that be A

. It was late....

 

[praha12]

Mates wife buying a new car.
Parked up after the test drive, she asks the salesman if he could get the badge on the steering put the right way up.

 

[c032745y]

MiL yesterday (technically she's female, therefore "a lass")

"Can't see why you're so upset, they only lost by one goal..."

 

[jjarra_mackem]

"Its only football"

Mrs (no) yesterday

 

[JohnSmithUK]

"Its only football"

Mrs (no) yesterday

Get rid.

 

[Freddie the Greek]

"We had plenty of chances to score in the second half, we should have won"

 

[Dan..Dan..Dan..Dan]

On the way down to London today, a road sign says 'St Alban's'. She pipes up that she thought it was in Scotland.

I know this bloke who managed to put an apostrophe in St Albans.

 

[Ronan Harazi's Leg]

I know this bloke who managed to put an apostrophe in St Albans.

Auto correct, honest...

 

[WildTurkey]

Watching Yorkshire Vet.
Her “eeeh what kind of dogs are they?”
Me “goats”

Driving today
Her “eeeh are they geese?”
Me “no they’re traffic cones”

Sounds like you’re the daft one thinking ‘goats’ is a breed of dog

 

[Makcem Crihs]

I've had a blocked ear for a few days and our lass said it might be candle wax