Culinary Cock-ups

What's yours?

I cook just about everything in our house, and I'm not too bad at it either, but last night I think for the first time ever I cooked up something that was inedible.

Wanting something fairly quick and easy I thought I'd use the Blue Dragon Singapore noodle kit that's been sat in the cupboard for months a do a stir fry. Now I often use their very good pad thai kit (I'd recommend it - miles easier than fannying about with tamarind), have cooked plenty of stir fries, and kna how to cook a noodle. OR at least I thought I did.

This packet you see came with very thin vermicelli rice noodles which I've never used before, and not reading the instructions properly I chucked them in a pan of boiling water and cooked them for 5 minutes as I would ordinary rice noodles. Now on post inspection, I apparently should have turned the heat off as soon as I added them to the pan. Well wharra disaster.

I had me doubts when I drained them, but forging ahead I hoyed them in the wok and finished it off. Whey man they just dissolved, and all I was left with was a prawny, peppery, curried wall paper paste. :cry: :lol:

Ended up picking out the prawns, chucking the rest in the bin, and opening a tapas platter for an improvised picky tea.
 


put a peppercorn sauce on a steak I was cooking

Still look back with huge pants of regret. Thankfully I was cooking just for me and no one else shared my embarrassment
 

Marty Moose

Striker
Mistook a modern looking plastic tray for an oven tray before and cooked my fish fingers on it. Opened the oven and unsurprisingly it had melted and formed this nuclear hot dripping plastic lava all over the oven rack and a mound of it like a cowpat on the floor of the oven, as well as absolutely honking the house out with some poisonous chemical cloud of fumes. Couldn't touch the melted stuff due to it being like napalm, but then it dried and reformed as rock hard reset plastic all over the inside of the oven and that was going absolutely nowhere fast.

Wasn't even my oven anarl :D
 
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Keawyeds

Striker
I once slapped a cheesecake in the microwave but stuck it on cook instead of defrost.

I realised when I could smell strawberries, it was absolutely delightful to eat.

That made me laugh out loud.
Why on earth would you put it in the microwave in the first place?!

I'm glad it worked out for you.
Somehow
 
Made a trifle and thought I'd add a bit extra sherry onto the sponges as it was Christmas. Unbeknown to me, my Mam saw the sponges soaking and thought she'd add a bit extra sherry as it was Christmas. It ended up so alcoholic that the jelly didn't set properly, so we had a runny trifle ☺️

Made a tiramisu but forgot to by Marsala wine, so improvised with Tia Maria. You have to make an extra strong cup of coffee, top it up with the wine and dunk the sponge biscuits in the liquid. I had half a mug of strong coffee and Tia Maria left after dunking and thought it was a shame to waste it, so I drank it. I was bouncing off the walls with the coffee and alcohol hit ☺️

Made rum truffles without a recipe and used far too much rum. They were head blowing rum truffles.

Don't drink and cook folks 👍
 
Made a pasta sauce and put what I thought was oregano in it. Gave it a generous sprinkling. It was only on tasting it that I realised I'd put dried mint in not oregano.
 

Hammer

Striker
Had a few rice disasters recently so bit the bullet and got a rice cooker. Made a couple of barely edible things from recipes but I think that was the recipe rather than me.
Made a pasta sauce and put what I thought was oregano in it. Gave it a generous sprinkling. It was only on tasting it that I realised I'd put dried mint in not oregano.
I was really hoping that was going to end with you putting weed in the pasta.
 
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Wild Card

Central Defender
once chucked a tin of barley and a tin of spelt in a maggies bag with a pepper and an onion, surprisingly it came out rank. a mushy clump of ill tasting dietary fibre.
 

PrisonBroken

Midfield
Made a pasta sauce and put what I thought was oregano in it. Gave it a generous sprinkling. It was only on tasting it that I realised I'd put dried mint in not oregano.
I was making a chilli and a pasta sauce add put coriander in the pasta. Was destined for the freezer but went straight in the bin
 

Keawyeds

Striker
Made a trifle and thought I'd add a bit extra sherry onto the sponges as it was Christmas. Unbeknown to me, my Mam saw the sponges soaking and thought she'd add a bit extra sherry as it was Christmas. It ended up so alcoholic that the jelly didn't set properly, so we had a runny trifle ☺️

Made a tiramisu but forgot to by Marsala wine, so improvised with Tia Maria. You have to make an extra strong cup of coffee, top it up with the wine and dunk the sponge biscuits in the liquid. I had half a mug of strong coffee and Tia Maria left after dunking and thought it was a shame to waste it, so I drank it. I was bouncing off the walls with the coffee and alcohol hit ☺️

Made rum truffles without a recipe and used far too much rum. They were head blowing rum truffles.

Don't drink and cook folks 👍

Head Blowing Rum Truffles should be your next sig
 

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