Choosing a secondary school

My wife is a practicing Catholic from a big Catholic family up in Scotland. She went to a Catholic school and wants the same for our son.

Also, as someone else has pointed out, the choice of non-catholic schools in Sunderland is actually shocking. We're both teachers and know the craic with schools, hence why we had him 'baptised' Catholic. It really is a no brainer. So i don't think practicing Catholics should take too much offence to that at all.

I'm not Catholic myself but my wife is. I think when you look at the choice of non-catholic schools in Sunderland it really is a no brainer.

Probably SEB but it's "crack" mate
 


He said his wife and her family are all practising Catholics though so I would've thought they would've pulled rank over the wedding.
Aye that was the case with us, the matriarch on our lasses side would have been a tad displeased if we got married in a Church of England establishment and not christened them catholic. She was basically mrs Doyle in her younger years. As it was important to them and our lot are heathens and couldn’t give two fucks, I was happy to go with the flow. The boy chose monkwearmouth and we’re still happy with that, although it’s not doing great at the moment he is, top sets for everything and he has a cracking set of mates. He’s happy therefore we are. The daughter has put St Anthony’s as first choice so that’s where she’ll go. She’s already doing after school classes there and loves it. Keeping the mrs family happy will work out canny for her so happy days.

Personally we went with the best fit for the kids, at the end of the day it’s their life and forcing them to go to a school they don’t want to go to isn’t cricket in my opinion.
 
You have a good point, The lad went mental for lasses in his first 2 years at comp, had one after the other, was texting them constantly and getting a fair few negative points for showing off. He appears to have seen the errors of his ways and now spends every spare minute on his bmx or stunt scooter with his mates and his behaviour has improved massively.
My daughter’s main reasons for putting St Anthony’s as first choice was she knows it’s a good school and the lads in her class put her off going to a mixed school because they apparently go on like idiots so she wants to be away from them.

I dare say she’ll change her mind in a year or two but tough shit, it’ll be too late by then 👍
Mixed sexes in any environment apart from a nightclub/pub is bad news in my opinion.

The daftest thing ive heard of is having women in the same ships or barracks as blokes.
 
Aye that was the case with us, the matriarch on our lasses side would have been a tad displeased if we got married in a Church of England establishment and not christened them catholic. She was basically mrs Doyle in her younger years. As it was important to them and our lot are heathens and couldn’t give two fucks, I was happy to go with the flow. The boy chose monkwearmouth and we’re still happy with that, although it’s not doing great at the moment he is, top sets for everything and he has a cracking set of mates. He’s happy therefore we are. The daughter has put St Anthony’s as first choice so that’s where she’ll go. She’s already doing after school classes there and loves it. Keeping the mrs family happy will work out canny for her so happy days.

Personally we went with the best fit for the kids, at the end of the day it’s their life and forcing them to go to a school they don’t want to go to isn’t cricket in my opinion.
I have 2 girls and it's a no brainer for me that they will hopefully go to St Anthony's. Only Monkwearmouth is closer for us logistically. I did say to the missus like when I was little there is no way I would've went anywhere other than where my mates were going. Maybe that's a boy thing at this age as my daughter is all about wanting the best education.
 
Schools will always discriminate, whether it be their catchment area, religion, how good a child is at a particular sport / subject or on the size of their parents bank balance, if we are talking private education. It is how we as a society decide on what level of discrimination that we are prepared to live with. I actually agree with a lot of the humanist views on education. I reckon it is very important that children are taught about all religions, atheism and evolution but happen to think they can be taught this in a religious ethos, whether that be Muslim, CofE, Catholic etc. If we took the Humanist route schools would still have to decide on what children they admit and even when over subscribed schools have held ballots to decide places, parents have cried foul or said it was unfair, so what do you do ?

I know someone who claimed to be an atheist, then she was a Buddhist, then she got pregnant and became CofE. Joined in with all the "Vicar of Dibley" stuff, all to guarantee her daughter was in the local primary school. I think it is called playing the system and I think it is morally wrong when other children in that area might have missed out. If we had a secular educational system she would have ensured she lived in the right area or took whatever measures were necessary to ensure her little darling was in the school she wanted.

It's the middle classes to blame apparently.

How the Middle Classes Ruined Britain, review: A confusing and hateful account of the class divide

Interesting post. I get the "playing the system" bit too, but I don't like it. It's the system that's wrong. Why should you pay lip service to something you don't believe in?
You could say it's actually a bit insulting to the people who actually have religious beliefs
 
The choice of secondary schools in and around Sunderland is actually shocking, appalling. At least for anyone who isn't Catholic anyway.

Currently weighing up whether it's worth shelling out a fortune to move next door to Durham Johnston and try to commute back over this way, or save the money and use it for private school when they get to secondary age, which would still involve a lengthy trip to the school.

what did you decide?
 
It's a few years away yet so we are sticking close to where we are for now.

thanks for the quick reply, we’re having the same debate now, only thing about DJ is that we’ve heard from two separate people that there is a bit of a drugs issue in the school, don’t know any more about it
 
The school that the kid feels the most comfortable with + get the most out of them to progress.

My daughter has opted for St Roberts over St Anthony's when she hopefully starts in September. She's fully aware she now has a bus rid each day instead of the 5 minute walk to St Anthony's. The game changer was the open evening where she felt a lot more relaxed and welcome at St Roberts.
 
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The school that the kid feels the most comfortable with + get the most out of them to progress.

My daughter has opted for St Roberts over St Anthony's when she hopefully starts in September. She's full aware she now has a bus rid each day instead of the 5 minute walk to St Anthony's. The game changer was the open evening where she felt a lot more relaxed and welcome at St Roberts.
My niece goes to St. Roberts and although the commute is less than yours it’s still a good bus ride away. She likes it though and is doing really well both academically and with her sport as well as all the extra curricular stuff.
 
My niece goes to St. Roberts and although the commute is less than yours it’s still a good bus ride away. She likes it though and is doing really well both academically and with her sport as well as all the extra curricular stuff.

Everyone we know who's attended St Roberts loves it. My cousins daughter hated St Anths and left after 1 year for St Roberts, and she is loving it there.
 
Do you believe you should choose the best possible school to give your child the best possible chance (even if it involves moving house or changing religion)? Do you go with the school that’s most convenient? Or do you ask the child and let them go where their friends are going?
Long story short: son is at a poor school (monkwearmouth) but it’s convenient (walking distance)
Daughter’s got to choose now, and all her friends parents have chosen a ‘better’ school (Whitburn) but it’s a bus ride away. Some have even chosen the catholic school (St Anthony’s)
I’d rather she went to the convenient one as it makes everyone’s life easier. I also believe cream rises to the top and bright kids (she is) will prosper at any school, so I’m not that concerned about her prospects. But if it was me I’d hate to be separated from my friends (although I know you make new friends right away at a new school).

Dilemma.....

How did you choose?

We took them to 3 schools to have a look around. In the end we let them choose even tho the choice maybe wouldn't of been what we had chosen. All their mates went to the school and I didn't want to ruin their teenage years by breaking up good friendships.
I even thought about sending them to Durham private school.
Schools qualification are important however I've seen both sides of the coin.....lads academically do well and go to Uni and those who don't do aswell and leave to get an apprentiship and do well.
I would rather my kids have a happy childhood...plenty of time as an adult to improve yourself.
 
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We took them to 3 schools to have a look around. In the end we let them choose even tho the choice maybe wouldn't of been what we had chosen. All their mates went to the school and I didn't want to ruin their teenage years by breaking up good friendships.
I even thought about sending them to Durham private school.
Schools qualification are important however I've seen both sides of the coin.....lads academically do well and go to Uni and those who don't do aswell and leave to get an apprentiship and do well.
I would rather my kids have a happy childhood...plenty of time as an adult to improve yourself.

This is most likely what we will be doing tbh.

Unless you are paying for a private school the end result will most likely be the same.

Thornhill, St Aidans, St Anthonys, Southmoor were all as bad as each other when I was at school
 

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