Discussion in 'SMB' started by JL1985, Mar 14, 2019.
Probably the type who sticks lego up his bum aswell
Absolutely lerv it.
With the Lego motor intact
My kids call me Hitler sometimes; so I put on my WW2 nazi helmet and speak German to them for the rest of the day.
When I'm driving the car, I often simulate honking a large old rubber bulb motor horn....with accompanying noises
After work (Landscaping) we drive back to my Brothers' house to unpack the tools etc. His lad, who's 5, waits by the window to watch for the van pulling up. As soon as he sees us he runs out, grabs me by the hand, and drags me back into the van where we play this game of.. he presses all the buttons (the radio, windsreen wipers, hazard lights etc) while I try to stop him. We both sit there in fits of giggles while I do this daft grumpy old man routine and he tries to get one-up on me.
Love it me. Plus it saves me from having to help unpack all the bloody tools off the van.
Only one I did not laugh at was 'Meet the determined.' Thought the rest were great.
Haven't yet had the balls to try it, but one of the times a similar thread came up years ago I remember reading about someone getting a socket with a timer, setting it for 3 in the morning and leaving the Hoover plugged in and turned on with a sheet over it so that the missus gets woken up by the noise, comes down to investigate it and thinks there's a ghost. I laughed at the time, still find it funny now and really need to get round to trying it out on my lass.
Just stand at the bottom of the bed and sway from side to side in a Paranormal Activity kind of way. Works a treat mate.
@Guinness Guzzler Have you thought about cutting a hole in the Hoover pipe mate? If you get it right, it should lend a certain eerie quality to the sound. Corkscrew would be my bet to flute the Hoover pipe up.
Fruitcakes and loonies, the lot of you.
I used to work in a call centre and played accent roulette with customers. I can do a pretty decent Welsh accent and my Edinburgh is spot-on but I'm horrendous at everything else so it was quite obviously fake but I found it funny.
GROWING OLD IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL so I keep telling our lass. Love annoying her and the more she's annoyed the more I wind her up
I used to be married to a Japanese lass who used to say radiators is on tele instead of gladiators.
Filled her hairdryer with talcum powder once whilst she was in the bath; the marriage didn't last much longer.
Mr Remoto ffs
Every time we pass it, ooh look a big cock and balls
Cling film over the toilet pan, hairdryer to shrink it and lower seat. Funny as hell, but messy and leaves some users a little upset.
Also tie cutlery and place mats to a chair with thread that cannot be seen causes a bloody laugh.
No childish adults were hurt in this, apart from me, a couple of slaps round the head from my sister, Oh and I had to clean up the mess.
But still laugh about it, head slaps were fine, no sense no feeling.
You can also put fire extinguisher starters in the cistern, but think carefully about that one. Again use out of date starters nit from in date extinguishers.
No responsibility accepted if you try any of this at all.
Just the basics here.
Lights off when kids are in the shower.
Flush the bog when kids are in the shower.
Dancing in shops to the music. Girls dont mind but the boy hates it.
Jumping out and scaring. However, the boy did it yesterday and I shit myself and called him a little twat. Was reported and I got into bother. My defence of, well at least I didn't call him a little fucking twat, didn't stand up in court.
Oh and it's a doofer.
I toot at random chavs on bikes n wave, mine fecking hates this esp if theyre from her school.
When I talk to by daughters friends I tell them I'm cool because I'm "Home with the Downeys" and ask them whats their favourite track in the current hit parade.
Don't know if you watch Friends but there's an episode where Joey pretends to be 19. He does a hand gesture and keeps saying "that's whack" at everything. Mine hates it if I do that when she's on a video call to her mates
Separate names with a comma.