Child Maintance



Cookie said:
The system asks for a ‘primary’ parent which is the bit I don’t really understand - I have the kids 50/50 with my ex, do more school drop-offs and picks-ups, buy their clothes/toys to stay at my house and pay extra for school uniform and stuff but still have to pay her £800 a month.

I don’t complain because it means the kids can stay in my former family home with her but beyond a proportion of the mortgage, in reality the bulk of my money pays for the lifestyle of my ex and her partner. It pisses my missus off more than me but does seem a tad unfair as she’s no more a primary parent than I am.
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How did you calculate that? For the calculator to come up with £800 you’d need to be on more than £200k p/a. If that’s the case I doubt you’d miss £800.
 
Simoneinzaghi said:
As in for your kids ? If you have any ? Bus or a safe vehicle ?
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Two kids. I’d rather take them in the car but wouldn’t lose any sleep if our lass couldn’t afford a car and had to take them on the bus.
DoctorMick said:
How did you calculate that? For the calculator to come up with £800 you’d need to be on more than £200k p/a. If that’s the case I doubt you’d miss £800.
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Either that or he has 4 kids.
 
Goat Eyes said:
Two kids. I’d rather take them in the car but wouldn’t lose any sleep if our lass couldn’t afford a car and had to take them on the bus.
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So it’s the op ex missus choice to use the cash how she wants and chooses to have a nice safe car etc. Plus if your kids say played youth football or had activities say in Durham where it may take 20 mins in a car or over 2 hrs on a bus. Again it’s a practical requirement and I’ve certainly made a valid point. Have a pleasant evening.
 
Kent_Mackem said:
None of this is meant to be accusing towards anybody else. Just stating what happened with me.

When I split with my missus everything we decided afterwards was with the children in mind. We just agreed to share the care and cost of the boys 50:50. No need for solicitors or child maintenance.

My ex-missus was proper pissed off when I left her. It took a good while for her to come round to the fair sharing, with accusations of “you abandoned us” etc. I decided to sit tight and let the dust settle. I could easily have just picked up the boys up from school anytime I wanted. Although I cried myself to sleep each night for a year, time heals and she realises I looked after her and the boys even when we’d split.

We get along OK now and the boys are really happy (we check regularly by talking to them, teachers and parents of friends - important).

Children adapt so long as there is no rancour between the parents, and they have finely tuned antennae. The parents will always be parents even if they are no longer together. Everything should be done with the children in mind. Pissing away 5 large to solicitors for doing next to nothing, when that money could go to pay Uni fees or similar, can always be avoided if the grown ups are grown ups when there are children in the room.

That said, I wouldn’t wish a divorce on my worst enemy. I hope it doesn’t happen to anybody else.
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late contender for post of the year
 
Iballistic George said:
If its thru cms they have direct access to your tax files so regardless they can see instantly what you earn. The but that pissed me off is that my wages need to go down by 25% for any changes to take effect otherwise you have to wait until the next tax year for them to re assess you. I pay my ex 500 quid a month with cms and she's constantly trying to get it on colleft and pay system as I then have to pay 20% extra. It's all paid on time so she can't do it but every month she says it wasn't paid on time so I have to send them proof all the time.
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I know mate being serious I'm lucky enough to be amicable with my kids mam and she's fair - I pay a lot more than I need to legally cos she's a good mam and I see the kids all the time (we still spend Xmas day all together).

I'd like to think and I'm sure she she would be as fair to me if my working / financial circumstances changed cos were adults (in my case just about) and the kids come first.
 
Simoneinzaghi said:
So it’s the op ex missus choice to use the cash how she wants and chooses to have a nice safe car etc. Plus if your kids say played youth football or had activities say in Durham where it may take 20 mins in a car or over 2 hrs on a bus. Again it’s a practical requirement and I’ve certainly made a valid point. Have a pleasant evening.
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What’s your obsession with safe cars? If you get into any car you’re taking a risk. All you can do is not crash and hope nobody crashes into you. You could have the safest car in the world and still get squashed by an artic. I find it bizarre that you would even consider the safety of the car your ex is buying for your kids tbh. Maybe you should make them buy an armoured car for that school run?
 
Big Toe said:
Imagine not wanting your kid to have some nice things in life from your pay rise. A small percentage of that pay rise too. Trampy behaviour
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It was a joke


FWIW when we split she was so scared she'd not be able to survive financially I had to live at my mams and pay all the bills and mortgage for 2 years. I now cos I can afford to pay about double what I legally need to.

This isn't meant to be a look at me as I don't think what I've described above is uncommon. But like most dad's who are not in the family home I'd do anything for my kids.

The small % of feckless arseholes both in time and money spent give most other dad's a bad name.

Now breathe..
 
Dave Herbal said:
What’s your obsession with safe cars? If you get into any car you’re taking a risk. All you can do is not crash and hope nobody crashes into you. You could have the safest car in the world and still get squashed by an artic. I find it bizarre that you would even consider the safety of the car your ex is buying for your kids tbh. Maybe you should make them buy an armoured car for that school run?
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Pretty much got one mate. I find it difficult that people on here think that dodging csa is acceptable. Pay for your kids oh and get an armoured car as there’s nothing more precious than your children. Alternatively get a bus. Seems a few on here don’t see my point but if your kids had been in an accident and the traffic cop said I dread to think if you hadn’t been in a larger vehicle then maybe just maybe you’d get it but then again probably not. 🤦‍♂️
 
DaftGet said:
And if she decides to spend the monthly extras or any future promotion money on Audi A5 how is that beneficial to my daughter instead of sticking it away in a savings account?

True story is I was furloughed at that time then brought back like a day later he's held this grudge because I dared to question his cushy role in the public sector and as such his job is safe and bring on the we don't want to go back to work as we don't have to.

It spiralled from there. Think he is a teacher.
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At least your daughter is getting driven round in a nice set of wheels 👍🏻
 
Simoneinzaghi said:
If you think the bus is good enough for your kids then clearly shouldn’t have left it in at the end of the 30 seconds of passion. Suppose if your happy to have your kids being dragged round on the bus then fair enough. Ambition levels on here seem to echo our club atm 😂
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This is quite an out-dated view and part of the reason the government get away with ignoring the public transport needs of the north.

There is nothing bad about riding a bus or using public transport. Some of the best parents I knew growing up rode the bus. Some of the worst had a flash car.
 
Carrick18 said:
This is quite an out-dated view and part of the reason the government get away with ignoring the public transport needs of the north.

There is nothing bad about riding a bus or using public transport. Some of the best parents I knew growing up rode the bus. Some of the worst had a flash car.
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Carrick18 said:
This is quite an out-dated view and part of the reason the government get away with ignoring the public transport needs of the north.

There is nothing bad about riding a bus or using public transport. Some of the best parents I knew growing up rode the bus. Some of the worst had a flash car.
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it’s a modern view imo. Hence more and more cars are on the road it’s a preference and safety thing. As far as best parents getting bus and worst have a car to even state that thought came into your head is utter bull ****
 
Simoneinzaghi said:
it’s a modern view imo. Hence more and more cars are on the road it’s a preference and safety thing. As far as best parents getting bus and worst have a car to even state that thought came into your head is utter bull ****
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I've ridden the bus for many a year and never once had an accident. If you live in a big city, as I do, you have little choice but to take public transport (we also have a car).

You were the one pontificating as if the bus is not good enough for kids. I'm stating my opinion and experience, just because it doesn't tally with your opinion doesn't mean it's bullshit.
 
Sidewinder2 said:
You should have done what I did. We sat down together and looked at the csa website. Worked out what they say I should have paid and pay that plus more. She then knows I’m being fair and won’t go to the csa as they’ll tell her I’m
Paying too much, especially as I see him more now than when we first split.
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Exactly what me and my bairn’s mam did. Used the CSA website to work out what I would owe then rounded it up a bit.

Avoid actually using the CSA at all costs.
Goat Eyes said:
Just checked, on a £50k a year salary for two kids you have 3 nights a week you pay £363.60 a month.

Doesn’t seem that bad. Might actually ditch the missus after all.

www.gov.uk

Calculate your child maintenance

Use this calculator to work out an amount of child maintenance for your children.
www.gov.uk www.gov.uk
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I earn less than that and have them at least 2 nights a week and I pay £390 a month for my two.
 
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Tadger said:
Exactly what me and my bairn’s mam did. Used the CSA website to work out what I would owe then rounded it up a bit.

Avoid actually using the CSA at all costs.


I earn less than that and have them at least 2 nights a week and I pay £390 a month for my two.
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I thought it sounded low for what others were saying. Is it right or not?
 
Big Toe said:
He didn’t say that, he said SOME
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Ok some ! My point still remains
Carrick18 said:
I've ridden the bus for many a year and never once had an accident. If you live in a big city, as I do, you have little choice but to take public transport (we also have a car).

You were the one pontificating as if the bus is not good enough for kids. I'm stating my opinion and experience, just because it doesn't tally with your opinion doesn't mean it's bullshit.
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Why do people on here not get the safety element of a large vehicle. You have a car and also use public transport is fine as it’s your choice. Equally it’s my choice to work hard to earn enough cash to make sure my kids are in a car I deem suitable from a safety perspective for them to get around in. I don’t think the bus is good enough for my kids as I’d rather they were in a car. It’s gives privacy security and no standing around in cold and rain etc. If people choose to use public transport then great but I don’t need to agree to doing that myself
 
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