Chemo number 27. The last one before the scan



Mantobar said:
Hi Mr F Stew Graham as you may have saw has succumbed to this horrible disease
Brings it home when it happens to somebody you know. Just hope you keep positive and look forward to your trips and I would also hope your family know about these musings on here. You're an inspiration to many, keep fighting mate .
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I did indeed see it. Please accept my condolences and best wishes to family and friends.
 
monkeytassle said:
Are you scared?
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No I’m not scared. I don’t think it’s fear I feel. I accept where I am. I have the odd humph. Normally just after a pee and I turn and see myself in the mirror on the bathroom wall. I see an ill person and I have a sinking feeling. But then I wash my hands. Might even brush my teeth. Then move on.

The thing that hurts the most is the effect on those close to me.
 
Foggy, I never know what to say when I read you posts, brave, inspired, funny, sad, but your writings are full of honesty and let the majority of us realise how lucky we are with our lot.

Keep on fighting.
 
foggy said:
No I’m not scared. I don’t think it’s fear I feel. I accept where I am. I have the odd humph. Normally just after a pee and I turn and see myself in the mirror on the bathroom wall. I see an ill person and I have a sinking feeling. But then I wash my hands. Might even brush my teeth. Then move on.

The thing that hurts the most is the effect on those close to me.
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I get this so much. My parents have already lost both my 2 sisters (twins) when they were 28 and 32. I am their last 'child' left alive. I couldn't bare the thought that they lost me aswell, I am determined to outlive them to save them that pain but who knows? I am 47 now and things happen as you well know.
Worse for me though is I am a single parent and 2 of my 3 kids have special needs. My 10 year old son has autism and dyspraxia and my 19 year old daughter has a rare chromosome disorder called Ring 18. My son with autism could hopefully get by without me with help, but my daughter is severely disabled both mentally and physically and she would think I had abandoned her if I died, she has no understanding whatsoever. I can't even think about it, it brings on panic attacks. She relies on me for every single thing. Sorry I know this is totally irrelevant to your situation but just wanted to let you know I 'get' exactly how you feel with certain things xx
 
foggy said:
No I’m not scared. I don’t think it’s fear I feel. I accept where I am. I have the odd humph. Normally just after a pee and I turn and see myself in the mirror on the bathroom wall. I see an ill person and I have a sinking feeling. But then I wash my hands. Might even brush my teeth. Then move on.

The thing that hurts the most is the effect on those close to me.
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They will be f***ing proud and rightfully so.
You only have to read this thread to see what people think of you.
A fair few Men including me with some dust in their eyes.
Sunderland should be mighty proud. Unbelievable mate.
 
addicted_to_safc said:
I get this so much. My parents have already lost both my 2 sisters (twins) when they were 28 and 32. I am their last 'child' left alive. I couldn't bare the thought that they lost me aswell, I am determined to outlive them to save them that pain but who knows? I am 47 now and things happen as you well know.
Worse for me though is I am a single parent and 2 of my 3 kids have special needs. My 10 year old son has autism and dyspraxia and my 19 year old daughter has a rare chromosome disorder called Ring 18. My son with autism could hopefully get by without me with help, but my daughter is severely disabled both mentally and physically and she would think I had abandoned her if I died, she has no understanding whatsoever. I can't even think about it, it brings on panic attacks. She relies on me for every single thing. Sorry I know this is totally irrelevant to your situation but just wanted to let you know I 'get' exactly how you feel with certain things xx
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It isn’t irrelevant at all. I am keenly aware that there are many suffering illnesses and all sorts of very difficult issues. I have read a lot about end of life stuff. I am a have to know type. There is a common theme about leaving loved ones. It’s very rarely about the person themselves heading off to the abyss.

It helps with my acceptance I suppose. If I get that accepted then I can crack on with making the most of the time while I’m here.

Sorry to hear of your situation. It puts mine in perspective. I have had the chats with the bairn about the tough stuff in the future. At least she can process. And that’s a comfort to me. I can’t comprehend yours. Sorry.
 
addicted_to_safc said:
I get this so much. My parents have already lost both my 2 sisters (twins) when they were 28 and 32. I am their last 'child' left alive. I couldn't bare the thought that they lost me aswell, I am determined to outlive them to save them that pain but who knows? I am 47 now and things happen as you well know.
Worse for me though is I am a single parent and 2 of my 3 kids have special needs. My 10 year old son has autism and dyspraxia and my 19 year old daughter has a rare chromosome disorder called Ring 18. My son with autism could hopefully get by without me with help, but my daughter is severely disabled both mentally and physically and she would think I had abandoned her if I died, she has no understanding whatsoever. I can't even think about it, it brings on panic attacks. She relies on me for every single thing. Sorry I know this is totally irrelevant to your situation but just wanted to let you know I 'get' exactly how you feel with certain things xx
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All the best mate, you sound like a hell of a son/dad.
 
How the fuck do you respond to post like that man!

All the best marra. Never met you, never will, don't know your name but I'm rooting for you.
 
Your posts as always are a true inspiration.

Your parents, partner and bairn must be so proud of how you are facing your fight with dignity and humour.

Stay strong and keep fighting this horrible bastard of an illness.

On a serious note, you can't give a dog a napkin, he'd never be able to use it without thumbs
 
Foggy , just read your piece , your writing skills are fantastic. You missed a trick their son...you should have been keeping a full diary from the start .We could have a best seller on our hands😂🤣😂

Anyway I want you to do me one huge favour. I want you to go to onto Amazon/eBay and buy a TV programme called The Big C ...It's an American Drama comedy about having Cancer starring Laura Linney....It had me in fits of uncontrollable laughter and fits of uncontrollable tears as I remember people I've lost to this illness. It is quite simply one of the best TV programme s ever and lots of cancer sufferers said how much they were inspired by it..By next post I want an update on how you found it...deal.

Dust your down and go again big man🤗🤗🤗🤗
 

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