Chemo no 8 - How to die with dignity?

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xmfd

Winger
Perfect post. Gold. You are an absolute inspiration. Fucking hell.

I've ordered a toilet light as well.

Good luck.
 
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@foggy at least the tea is being made correctly.

You have shared a very private experience but this is great as we are raising awareness.

Anything that raises the profile of bowel cancer (in my case) and other cancers is so important

Hopefully by doing this and I am more than happy to do this will result in more people being cured earlier.

I feel I know you so well even though we have never met. Perhaps a decent cuppa at sometime would be a great idea
 
@foggy at least the tea is being made correctly.

You have shared a very private experience but this is great as we are raising awareness.

Anything that raises the profile of bowel cancer (in my case) and other cancers is so important

Hopefully by doing this and I am more than happy to do this will result in more people being cured earlier.

I feel I know you so well even though we have never met. Perhaps a decent cuppa at sometime would be a great idea
As you know I said nowt for a year, you were the first after posting your own experience and I went into the first chemo a little bit more prepared. Then the bad news came in January, so out I was and it has all been incredible, liberating and supportive. Plus there have been some who have sent their shit bags back to doc's and a good few PM's from relatives of sufferers, things like Flicky upgrading from Skeggy to go and see his own daughter and pretending to moan about it, tea hints, free eggs! boxes are out the front marra, hint hint, happy freeloader these days. Becs doing the 10k in honour of me, get sponsoring y'all, loads of stuff , some replies on here have been humbling - I read them all, more than once.

And the toilet lights! If they keep working that is, I'll get a little thought commission sent my way every time.

Now then, my bairn has arrived, 19 today always the bairn, I'm off to be very happy

Thanks again
 

Lester1979

Winger
The last one was a fucker. No two ways about it. I knew from when the main course went in, a proper tummyflipper. I’ve explained the courses before and the attention seeking bellendery of a self pitying benefit scrounger using drugs as an excuse to milk an embuggerance in no way unique to me.

Chemo’s going in now or magic potion as I think of it.m. Anyway better than the last one, just a bit sweaty of the head but the drugs are in so here we go. Thanks for having me.

I get a better parking spot so it’s not all shit. I park in disabled these days and get a few stink eyes because I “don’t look disabled” but I’m legit, maybe I should lift up my top and show my brutilised torso. A 10 inch scar from the big op, a huge hernia like a bum sticking out with the scar as the arse crack, 3 bullet holes from the laparoscopy and my sticky out chest portacath. It’s an impressive mess.

The doc wrote a letter for work - incurable, palliative care, indefinite chemotherapy until the disease progresses. Now hang on, my defences are still up. 5-3-2 formation. The opposition is a cu nt but never mind ‘until’ Doc. I know you went to Doctor school forever but ‘until’ for fuck’s sake? What’s wrong with an if? What’s wrong with a kiss? Do we have to go straight to the clitoris? I’m a Sunderland supporter, faced worse odds than this, stopped up and everything. Beat Chelsea and Everton. Liverpool back in the day - when no-one beat them and at their place. Gan on Stan. If I’m going to have a relegation battle it will be on my terms. Until, fuck you my new least favourite word.

The bairn - 19 in 2 days time but always the bairn - broke her iPhone so I bought her a better one, two versions newer, to teach her a lesson. And then I got the old one fixed and sold it for £130, bought a lump of driftwood with an old fashioned fancy bulb sticking out of it. For £130 funnily enough. I love that lump of wood. No one else has it. You can’t get it at George.

I used to have a big house, worth loads due to the hyper house inflation of the 90’s to 00-ies, a 4 wheel drive with a panoramic sunroof on the git long block paved drive , dogs and of course me little baby girl, all pre divorce. Sold the house just before the crash. For loads but had to give most away. Divorce. Costs a fortune but fucking good value. I think of it as an expensive training course.

Now I have a terraced home with a couple of bedrooms. 4 fireplaces, a big bay window downstairs and lots of trees outside where the birds sing. There is the ‘bumpy road’, no tarmac, in front of our houses, where us 26 in the terrace have to bounce along in our cars. 11 of us 26 have a big garden - it used to be an orchard. I don’t have one of those 11 gardens, just a bit out the front for me few plants and my Clock Stand seats from Roker. I sat in them with our lasses’ fatha 30 odd years ago. Last time, Chelsea, 85, already relegated, lot less there than the earlier Milk Cup match with the horrible fuckers that season, we lost, 12k there, traffic was still shit,great day.

She still puts up with me and now even makes tea properly. The little baby girl is just back from university this week, also made me a cup of tea the other morning. What else is there? I have reached the summit. I wouldn’t swap this place for the old house. This is my home.

It even has a ghost apparently. Christened Myrtle by our lass, she is convinced Myrtle doesn’t like her. She is fine with me though. Lives at the top of the stairs just in front of the bathroom.

The neighbours look after their gardens while I potter on. And at night I turn on my lump of driftwood for the ambience. Oh and my Himalayan salt lamps. They have ‘health benefits’, it may be a bit late for that but I got them cos they look nice and make me feel better when they’re on. I don’t know why I’m giving you a virtual tour of my little house, I think it’s a material things don’t matter and appreciate the simple. Yeah, that must be it, little home, birdsong, tea, ghosts, driftwood and salt lamps, happy.

Upstairs it is then. My bedroom was a double and a single originally but is now one room the whole width of the house, two windows looking out over everyone else’s nice gardens and trees, a real fireplace and a settee in there. Up again I have two loft rooms, not up to building regs, so nee good to the estate agents - 3 Velux windows though, get me - I can poke me head out and listen to the concerts at the cricket ground. Madness and Little Mix sounded shite, Tom was canny. I can see for bloody miles, Lumley Castle, the Cricket ground with its put up the other year lights. I wonder If I can get a roof terrace. The planners probably wouldn’t let me but that would be good. I could sit up there for hours.........
I work in a job where I see those "6 months to the big sleep" forms and thankfully hear some remarkable stories of people being given another form some years later. The stories are rare but they're there.
 

kingmonkey

Winger
Glad to hear the tea is improving. She doesn't put the milk in 1st does she, I hate that, when I go to my mother in laws I just ask for black tea because she swamps it with milk before the water goes in, you can almost hear the groan from the teabag.
 
@foggy at least the tea is being made correctly.

You have shared a very private experience but this is great as we are raising awareness.

Anything that raises the profile of bowel cancer (in my case) and other cancers is so important

Hopefully by doing this and I am more than happy to do this will result in more people being cured earlier.

I feel I know you so well even though we have never met. Perhaps a decent cuppa at sometime would be a great idea

Just noticed the decent cup of tea. Will do sir. I’ll be in touch.
 

The Falcon

Midfield
An incredible post from a brave dignified man, why oh why does he have to get this illness. My thoughts and wishes are with you now and evermore.
 
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