Can someone please...


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...pop out and do something a bit naughty so we can get out of the media spotlight? Nothing too nasty you understand. Maybe poke Matt Baker off the One Show in the eye, trip one of Ant and Dec up so they get a nasty bruise, suggest to a geek that Doctor Who is a bit crap, that should provoke a response. We could even launch a social media campaign saying Pippa Middleton's arse isn't nice.

Alternatively we could possibly point out to the media that this is the first day after the Tories murdered the NHS but no-one seems to have noticed because our new manager may or may not adhere to some loose definitions of what a fascist is.

Forgive my sarcasm but I've had enough of this overblown, uninformed nonsense.

Any suggestions?
 
Rumours of Harry Redknapp turning his nose up at Haggis in a London restaurant are doing the rounds.

We should be fine soon.
 
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