Best ‘one liners’ at a match


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2014 League Cup final against City, bloke across the aisle was absolutely battered and very, very lively during the first half, constantly singing and shouting. Once we went behind he lost his mojo a bit and eventually fell asleep. With about ten mins to go Yaya Toure made the latest in a series of fouls that were stopping us getting any momentum, a bloke in front shouted 'haway ref you've got to book him this time!' and then our hero awoke from his nap, stood up in that true pissed, swaying fashion and bellowed 'BOOK HIM?!?! HE OUGHT TO f***ing KILL HIM!' before sitting back down and going back to sleep!
 
Bloke in the Clockstand paddock shouting to Colin Hendry "you big blonde haired puff".
(90s permitted banter)

Hendry laughed. Funny moment for those in the paddock.
 
away at West Ham

Lad singing at Flo:

"you're not fit to wear the shirt!"

Bloke behind shouts:

"HEEWWW WE KNARR HE'S NOT FIT YA DAFT TWAT!"
 
Joanne Conway
aka Frosty Bum
On Saturday at the match there was this fella yelling at no one in particular “RTG Mods, call this game off. For the love of God”.

Found it really bizarre.
Maybe this lad?

 
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Gillingham away 2003
We had just gone 1 - 2 up
Lad behind us shouted ‘HAWAY Sunlun, nowt continental now.’

must be some great ones out there. Terrace humour is the best ever.

Remembering a throwaway daft one liner from a match 18 years ago is some effort.
 
Late 80’s/Early 90’s vs Villa in the cup.

Bosnich was playing out of his skin keeping them in the game (think they won 3-1/4-1). Phil Gray hit another beauty that Bosnich somehow tipped over the bar and heard one booming voice ring out in the Roker End. “He’ll get you next time Kylie”
 
According to a mate of mine, who's just written a book about the ups and downs of supporting us, one lad was heard to say "All I ever wanted was a good football team and a widower's pension, and I've not seen any of them".

The book, by the way, while a bit embellished, is very, very, funny.
 
David Rush warming up as a sub at Roker.
Bloke shouts “how Rushie you better play well when you get on cos I know where you live and I’ll come round and put your windows in”

same bloke, same game shouted at another sub, I think local lad but playing for other team (it was a long time ago). “You shouldn’t be going on the pitch you should be going home cos my brother is round there shagging your lass”
 
Missed two SAFC goals stuck in a big queue outside the Roker End for Benno's home debut game v Southampton (stayed to watch the last stripper at the Boilermaker's pre-match 🥴). A WPC on horseback is struggling to keep the impatient crowd at bay. Her horse is sweating up really badly. My mate shouts "how Mrs, ye hoss is sweaty" to which she instantly responds "you would be anarl, if you'd been between my legs for 4 hours". Classic!
 
Not at the match, but to a Mag
My mate went to see Jimmy Nail.
Between songs he sked the audience if anyone in from Newcastle. Few cheered. He then asked for anyone from Sunderland. Like a twat my mate shouted "aye", and Nail ripped the piss out of him. When people stopped laughing, my mate shouts out ,"Ah thowt ah was gannin ter a fuckin woodwork class, ya geordie c**t."
 
Early 80’s v Chelsea away. I was in a stand, so had to keep quiet.

Crowd were pretty quiet the one shouts out ‘oh Speedie you wanker’
more silence, then a really young lad says, ‘mummy, what’s a wanker’

Total silence with loads of blokes stifling laughs and shuffling feet.
 
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