Best ‘one liners’ at a match


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Conversation between Peter Reid and a ref, after Reidy had nearly broken a bloke in half.
PR"What ref?"
Ref "Come on Reidy, you were very late there"
PR "Well I got there as quick as I could"
Jeff Whitley Crewe away blasted ball out of ground trying to shoot. You could hear it bouncing down the road and one of our lot just said … ‘I would make the useless fucker go and fetch that’ 😂
🤣🤣🤣
 
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As Marlon Harewood yet again failed to get off the deck as the ball was crossed into him, the fella next to me shouted ‘You couldn’t get a Chronicle under that c***s feet man’.
I use it regularly now whilst playing cricket.
 
Been told a story from an old one at Roker Park which always tickled me. We were playing Arsenal and David Seaman was in goal. Bloke behind the goal was apparently very drunk, and every time it went a bit quiet in the first half he'd go "DAVID, DAVID" and got no response. Not to be deterred, he kept trying. Eventually, just before half time Arsenal had a goal kick. "DAVID, DAVID" and after the kick had gone he turned round and said "For fuck sake, what?!" and the pissed up bloke replied "You've got Seaman on your shirt" which got a very good response from the people around him :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
🤣🤣🤣 Fantastic.
 
Some wit in the Roker, when Quinny was having a bad day, and failed to get up for a cross into the box
"f***ing hell Quinny, you're taller sittin down than ya are standin up man"
 
When Nyron was playing right back and was to be fair pretty shite, he got injured in a match.
Me dads mate said, 'I hope it's nothing trivial'.
First time I heard the Nyron chant to the Amy Winehouse song Rehab
" They tried to get the ball past Nyron, and he said NO,NO,NO"
Love it.
 
A group of us were being frisked outside Oakwell when we played Barnsley in 2007. One lad had his metal comb confiscated whereupon another in the group said,'Aye, you could give somebody a nasty quiff with that'. My all-time favourite is as follows. Traditionally Harrogate Town and Harrogate Railway had a pre-season friendly ( the gap between the two clubs today is immense). Anyway about ten years ago the teams were lined up for kick-off when this old bloke in all seriousness yelled,' Come on Railway,let's beat these city slickers.'
 
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