Best ‘one liners’ at a match


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Been told a story from an old one at Roker Park which always tickled me. We were playing Arsenal and David Seaman was in goal. Bloke behind the goal was apparently very drunk, and every time it went a bit quiet in the first half he'd go "DAVID, DAVID" and got no response. Not to be deterred, he kept trying. Eventually, just before half time Arsenal had a goal kick. "DAVID, DAVID" and after the kick had gone he turned round and said "For fuck sake, what?!" and the pissed up bloke replied "You've got Seaman on your shirt" which got a very good response from the people around him :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
My favourite though is from Gordon Strachan who felt Le Tissier was having a quiet game and yelled, ' Get warmed up Matt,I'm bringing you off.'
🤣
Game needs more people like Strachan. Brilliant.
Nobody has mentioned Rodney Marsh and Sir Alf Ramsay.
Ramsay was giving his team talk before an England game, and pointed to Marsh and said something like"No messing around or fancy dan stuff Marsh, or I'll pull you off at half time", to which Marsh replied, "Blimey Alf, at Man City we only get half an orange and a cup of tea"
🤣🤣🤣
 
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This thread has made my day.

I'm sure I've heard some absolute classics in my time, but I agree with many of you when some of them were like "You had to be there".

Just remembered one.
Some lad sat near us when Bramble was "playing" for us shouted "Ha'way man, Tit-us".
That made me laugh. Still does now :lol:
 
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During a minutes silence at Roker in the 90s, all you could hear was the clicking of the Fulwell turnstiles. Until the arrival of someone who obviously hadn't been to the match for a while and blurts out "f***ing ow much??"

Half of the Fulwell were trying to stifle giggles like when you in school classes.
🤣
Hope he got a round of applause when he got to the top of the stairs.
 
During a minutes silence at Roker in the 90s, all you could hear was the clicking of the Fulwell turnstiles. Until the arrival of someone who obviously hadn't been to the match for a while and blurts out "f***ing ow much??"

Half of the Fulwell were trying to stifle giggles like when you in school classes.
was similar, was a minute silence in late 70s, may have been for alan hardaker, deathly quiet, then all heard come from roker end extremely loudly was ' Peanuts ' . :eek::D
 
was similar, was a minute silence in late 70s, may have been for alan hardaker, deathly quiet, then all heard come from roker end extremely loudly was ' Peanuts ' . :eek::D
🤣🤣🤣
I love this thread.
Saturday at Pompey, lad I was with shouted "Call the c**t off ref. 22 lives, or a game of football? Your choice. You've got blood on your hands, blood on your hands"
 
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Not a one liner but still makes me chuckle.

Championship game, Bristol City away at Ashton Gate under Riedy I think.
They sang something, can't remember what, but it was in their really strong West Country accent.
Our lot (2000 plus)replied in unison( to the tune of Go West by Pet Shop Boys)
"Ooooo arrrr, its Ambrosia, ooooo arrrr its Ambrosia"
Popular telly ad at the time.
They were struck dumb.
 
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In the clock stand .

Gary owers slipped over .

Bloke next to me shouted “owers you are on your back more than your lass “ .

Man I laughed .
In the clock stand .

Gary owers slipped over .

Bloke next to me shouted “owers you are on your back more than your lass “ .

Man I laughed .

You must have sat near me. Coz I remember that one distinctly.

For the uninitiated his lass was an ice skater. And the exact wording was “...you’re on your arse more that your lass” - because she did tend to fall over quite a bit. Cant remember her name
 
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