Best ‘one liners’ at a match


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Years ago, I remember Chris Makin getting a bizarre run of chances from corners. Three or four times it fell to him and being a defender he lashed out at it, missing by a country mile.

Old bloke behind us pipes up.....

"For fucks sake man. If that lad had been on the grassy knoll, Kennedy would still be president".

In my head I can hear my dad laughing at it, as he did for the rest of the match.
 
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Away at palace about 15 years ago. Ref was having a shocker. Some lad shouted “how ref, how do you sleep at night?” And another old matey shouted “under a crystal place duvet”

Quinny had to go in nets at Bradford away. Some matey had a shot that whistled wide, quinn was no where near and the lad behind me shouted “well left quinny lad”
 
It’s probably been mentioned but a fan to Steve Cotterril when he was writing on his note pad, “ what your writing Steve, f***ing shite?”
 
To Brian Kilcline at Roker

‘ya mams a man’
Reminds me of playing the Mags and they had a corner at the leazes end in front of us. Brian Kilcline came forward somewhat unnoticed till someone shouted "some fucker needs to mark Jesus at the far post" :lol: ... I was still giggling to myself 3 days later
 
Was in the clock stand paddock vs the mags in ‘96. Someone hoyed a steak pie at Ginola. A cheer went up, ginola looked bemused, then just as things settled back down someone shouts ’hew ginola* save us a bit of that pie!’ cue much laughter from the paddock.

* pronounced the English way like gin the drink and ola as in tombola, not the poncey way the mags used to say it! 😂
 
Northern League football crowds are amazing for one liners. It's rare I come away from a match without at least a couple of things that I'm still laughing about hours later.
The latest was at Bedlington, overhit pass to the right winger was met with 'haway man yer f***ing idiot, he's got two legs not fower'
 
Not at the match as such but Lee Howey standing on a table outside Chaplins in the city centre after WBA at home when we went up in 96 chanting “Lee Howey, Lee Howey, Lee Howey yer brother is a ****!” 🤣

He signed for Bedford Town at the tail end of his playing days so I went along in a Sunderland shirt. I sung the "Lee Howey, Lee Howey, Lee Howey" part - he gave a knowing smile so I stopped there :)
 
Was at the derby match (the 1-1 Marco scored for us). Was with a girl from work and trying my best to behave (as you do). Half way through the second half I cracked and shouted Aitken will you just f*** off. To which she replied was there any need for that - I said there was every F***ing need - never went back to a match with me again
 
I was at an old firm game and a Celtic fan shouted at Ginsberg? The Rangers goalie.
“No wonder Jesus chose us ya bassa”
😂 wrong and funny on so many levels
 
Middlesborough v Charlton 1968. Borough were working the right wing and were making progress through throw ins rather than good play. As a player went to take what must have been the 10th throw in, an old guy in front of me said to whatever player it was "Excuse me, I've paid to watch a game of football, so can you at least keep it on the green bit in the middle...thank you" the player grinned and took the throw in, which promptly got booted out for another throw in...the old guy went banana's.
 
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