Best ‘one liners’ at a match


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Clock Stand late 60s, "hey referee, what you got for eyes, alleys". It tickled me for ages as I hadn't heard that word for years.

When I had my season ticket in the concourse, my seat was 10 rows behind SNQ. I shouted "you lazy f*****g w****r", a split second after the crowd went quiet. The great man turned round with a look of absolute disgust. The lads round me creased up.
 
I remember reading one on here that tickled me for a long time, and I think it was because of how I pictured the old bloke In my head, anyway It iwas in 70's/80's iir and the opposing goal keeper was a black man and as he went round and placed his towel in the net infront of the Fulwell an old bloke in a flat cap calmly announced "youl not catch nee fish in that bonny lad"
 
Can't remember which midfield player it was aimed at, but after yet another sideways pass when a simple through ball should have been played, someone in the Roker nearby shouted: "?????? you've got as much vision as Stevie Wonder yer useless twat."
 
The problem with things like this, is that they’re rarely as funny when you tell the story, as when it happened.

Agreed.

I can remember someone shouting “Vinny, you big pink skipping rope” at Vinny Jones at Roker Park and at the time it was very funny (especially as Vinny laughed) but probs not now.
 
Sunday afternoon Derby match against the mags, they were warming up "How, Scotty, I was f***ing your sister last night" No idea if the gentleman who shouted the comment was being truthful or not, but it made me smirk.

I have also pondered since, over whether he actually had a sister
 
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