Best ‘one liners’ at a match


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"You'd be sweating if you'd been between my thighs for two hours!"

Mounted WPC outside Anfield one Easter in the '80s, to a passing Sunderland fan who had just commented that her horse was sweating.

Made me chuckle for some reason.....
 
2000 Sunderland fans at Leeds in 2002/3 season at Elland Road.

Lee the thug Bowyer had recently been convicted of violent offences against an Asian lad.

As he came over to take a corner, the Supporters sang as one "you're supposed to be in jail"...Bowyer actually laughed at that!
 
You couldn’t score with your brother. At Wimbledon -
Sit down man I didn’t pay £25 for a ticket to stand up - old boy at Wembley for the milk Cup.
He’s £&@: he’s queer he takes it up the rear etc - Wimbledon again.
 
Couple of years ago when Villa had gone about 8 games without scoring. Loads of giant arrows behind the goal either side of the goal across to the corner flags pointing at the goal with large letters “It’s over there!”
FFS man :lol:
You couldn’t score with your brother. At Wimbledon -
Sit down man I didn’t pay £25 for a ticket to stand up - old boy at Wembley for the milk Cup.
He’s £&@: he’s queer he takes it up the rear etc - Wimbledon again.
Reminds me of going to matches at Watford when Elton was chairman -
"He's bald, he's bent, his arse is up for rent - Elton John" etc etc.
 
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Story relauyed to me by my brother.
Stan Varga's debut, Varga strokes a thirty yard pass to the feet of one of our players! Accurate as owt and perfectly weighted.
Some wag behind our lad shouts...
" divvent worry son that fat **** Saxton will soon knock that out of ya".
 
Vs boro years ago. Slaven comes over to collect the ball for a throw & someone asks him if he’s letting a smog baby sit his kids while he’s at work. He smiled
 
That reminds me of one.

Traveling back on the tube after the 2014 Cup final, two lads got on fully dressed in army camouflage gear and sat next to me mate.

Tube must have gone another two stops when my mate suddenly looked at them, jumped back in his seat in fake shock.and said "Whoa when did you's get on"

Tube carriage was howling but the army lads weren't too pleased
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
juninho down on floor after being blasted in the face with the ball on a cold winters night at Roker......."Get up you Norman Wisdom looking little c@#t" when he did get up....."Mr Grimsdale, Mr Grimsdale".
Only older people will get it but it tickled me.
 
juninho down on floor after being blasted in the face with the ball on a cold winters night at Roker......."Get up you Norman Wisdom looking little c@#t" when he did get up....."Mr Grimsdale, Mr Grimsdale".
Only older people will get it but it tickled me.
🤣🤣🤣
 
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