Behind enemy lines: Watching the derby undercover in the Sunderland end


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:lol:

:lol:

Their minds have totally gone, complete mush.

'Wa had a load of corners and shots so deserved to win'

These muppets have lost all sense of how football actually works and the means by which you win a game.

Its destroying them.
 
"I managed very easily to get one amongst them!"

If you had a valid customer number, meaning you'd bought Sunderland tickets before then yes it was fairly easy...:lol:

Given some poor bloke who had moved house a few times was struggling to buy one till the ticket office found evidence he had a purchase history, Mr Undercover Hero maybe wants to explain to us all how it was so easy for him:)

This reads like those reports the Sunday rags were always full of about clandestine National Front or dog fighting gatherings. The 2nd goal bit is very "at that point I made my excuses and left":oops:
 
Inferiority complex, they good humoured we poisonous. Do these fuckers live in their own bubble all the time ? Never to have a long hard look at themselves before they speak ? They honestly do not realise how the result of one game (6X) has completely screwed up their sad lives

He forgets the scenes after the first 3-0 and the fact that hundreds and hundreds of their fans wait for us arriving before every home game.
Class though, he's obviously lost it.
 
I sit in the northwest corner and did see a bit of arguing going on near the back but it was around the time ginger piss biscuit went off
 
It reminds me of this absolute beaut. Although I was on this train that day and basically what he says was true :lol::

So… after picking option 3 me and the brother in law got on the only train of the morning - the 0952 train from Pools to Scumberland central. Me with my Toon top stashed in my jacket pocket and Carlos with his cunningly hidden under his hoodie with all the collar hanging out the top. There was probably 4 or 5 undercover Mags and 8 or 9 lads in red and white on the train. The tension started to mount as we got towards Seaham and by the time we got to the city of the great unwashed the heart rate was going double time.

Anyway, we get off in the station and it's weird - deadly quiet with only about 10 coppers about. This was not what I'd expected at all.... "Err excuse me mate, where do we get on the Metro?". "Down there; on the other platform sir"..... and then we see it... oh shit.... The Metro is there and absolutely rammed full of angry, ugly, screaming Mackems, going absolutely f***ing mental. I don't mean just chanting and shouting I mean they looked murderous - think Lord of the Rings where all the Orks and other dirty green bastards are on their way to war. Luckily at this point a copper tells us we'll not fit on this one and we have to wait 10 mins for the next one to come. I'm thinking, Jesus, that was close and we should be OK now cos the station is empty - they must have all gone...

The next Metro comes along and me, Carl and a few others get on - no bother. This still doesn't feel right, where is everyone? Why is there only a handfull of people here? Then all we hear is "AAARRRGGHHHHHH!" and what looks like absolutely hundreds of rabid Mackems sprinting down the platform towards us - they pile in and begin filling both carriages to bursting point (turns out the law had been holding the hordes back... outside the station in the rain for 40 odd mins). Now it's getting scary, now its real, now Carl is tucking his f***ing shirt in and hiding those collars! The coppers are now all over place trying to get a grip of it all and stop even more of these nutters getting on. This lot are hardcore. The doors close and it's all on, no going back now - we're in this all the way. Time to hold our nerve.

"Kill the fuckin Mags, Kill the fuckin Mags".... "Fuck right off you Black an White bastadddds, Fuck right off you Black an White bastadddds". The mob starts to rock the train, jumping up and down, smashing the lighting above us, puching the ceiling over and over again, banging on the glass with real intent. This is not light hearted, its not excitement, it's totally out of control. We start to move and a massive roar goes up. Five minutes in and people are stood next to me pissing on the floor. Howay man it's not a 5 hour away day coach journey FFS. After a while we come to a stop and I assume we're now at Hewerth and some Geordies have been spotted because the windows are almost getting put through from the inside and everyone is going off it. 28 days later style. Two very brave WPC's get squeezed on and attempt to tell people off but as we start to move again they are just met with a barrage of abuse and unbelievably people start pissing on the floor again. I look down and we're all stood in a sea piss which is washing up and down the floor washing over the feet of even these two (pretty scared looking) coppers.

"The Gallgate (sic) end, (The Gallgate end), Is always full, (Is always full) The Gallgate end is always full, (Full of what?) Full of shit, full of piss, full of wankers" Original eh? The 'atmosphere' continues to build and some witty prankster pulls the emergency stop cord. Wankers. This happens a few more times and the driver comes over the speaker and tells people to shape up or nobody is getting to the match. The animals go wild and the bouncing up and down rocking the train shit starts again... This routine repeats itself all the way to central station....

We made it, our covers still in tact, we stink of tabs and piss but we're still alive. It's 1120 and we still need to collect the match tickets so before we get 'kettled' to SJP and tarred as Mackems we need to escape from this hell. After identifying ourselves as Toon fans, a very surprised looking riot copper drags us both through the Police line and tells us to stand still so our story can be checked out. Yeah, righto officer - we legged it up the stairs and out into the street. Free at last!!
 
It reminds me of this absolute beaut. Although I was on this train that day and basically what he says was true :lol::

So… after picking option 3 me and the brother in law got on the only train of the morning - the 0952 train from Pools to Scumberland central. Me with my Toon top stashed in my jacket pocket and Carlos with his cunningly hidden under his hoodie with all the collar hanging out the top. There was probably 4 or 5 undercover Mags and 8 or 9 lads in red and white on the train. The tension started to mount as we got towards Seaham and by the time we got to the city of the great unwashed the heart rate was going double time.

Anyway, we get off in the station and it's weird - deadly quiet with only about 10 coppers about. This was not what I'd expected at all.... "Err excuse me mate, where do we get on the Metro?". "Down there; on the other platform sir"..... and then we see it... oh shit.... The Metro is there and absolutely rammed full of angry, ugly, screaming Mackems, going absolutely f***ing mental. I don't mean just chanting and shouting I mean they looked murderous - think Lord of the Rings where all the Orks and other dirty green bastards are on their way to war. Luckily at this point a copper tells us we'll not fit on this one and we have to wait 10 mins for the next one to come. I'm thinking, Jesus, that was close and we should be OK now cos the station is empty - they must have all gone...

The next Metro comes along and me, Carl and a few others get on - no bother. This still doesn't feel right, where is everyone? Why is there only a handfull of people here? Then all we hear is "AAARRRGGHHHHHH!" and what looks like absolutely hundreds of rabid Mackems sprinting down the platform towards us - they pile in and begin filling both carriages to bursting point (turns out the law had been holding the hordes back... outside the station in the rain for 40 odd mins). Now it's getting scary, now its real, now Carl is tucking his f***ing shirt in and hiding those collars! The coppers are now all over place trying to get a grip of it all and stop even more of these nutters getting on. This lot are hardcore. The doors close and it's all on, no going back now - we're in this all the way. Time to hold our nerve.

"Kill the fuckin Mags, Kill the fuckin Mags".... "Fuck right off you Black an White bastadddds, Fuck right off you Black an White bastadddds". The mob starts to rock the train, jumping up and down, smashing the lighting above us, puching the ceiling over and over again, banging on the glass with real intent. This is not light hearted, its not excitement, it's totally out of control. We start to move and a massive roar goes up. Five minutes in and people are stood next to me pissing on the floor. Howay man it's not a 5 hour away day coach journey FFS. After a while we come to a stop and I assume we're now at Hewerth and some Geordies have been spotted because the windows are almost getting put through from the inside and everyone is going off it. 28 days later style. Two very brave WPC's get squeezed on and attempt to tell people off but as we start to move again they are just met with a barrage of abuse and unbelievably people start pissing on the floor again. I look down and we're all stood in a sea piss which is washing up and down the floor washing over the feet of even these two (pretty scared looking) coppers.

"The Gallgate (sic) end, (The Gallgate end), Is always full, (Is always full) The Gallgate end is always full, (Full of what?) Full of shit, full of piss, full of wankers" Original eh? The 'atmosphere' continues to build and some witty prankster pulls the emergency stop cord. Wankers. This happens a few more times and the driver comes over the speaker and tells people to shape up or nobody is getting to the match. The animals go wild and the bouncing up and down rocking the train shit starts again... This routine repeats itself all the way to central station....

We made it, our covers still in tact, we stink of tabs and piss but we're still alive. It's 1120 and we still need to collect the match tickets so before we get 'kettled' to SJP and tarred as Mackems we need to escape from this hell. After identifying ourselves as Toon fans, a very surprised looking riot copper drags us both through the Police line and tells us to stand still so our story can be checked out. Yeah, righto officer - we legged it up the stairs and out into the street. Free at last!!

They have some imagination especially when the train from hartlepool goes to newcastle
 
Embarrassing that a 51 year old looks at the world that way. Self-confessed fatty anarl :lol:

'I’m 51, overweight and running away is not an option!'

^^^^^^^Only bit he didn't make up^^^^^^^^

The rest of it is pure bitterness, fantasy and cryin :lol:
 
What a pile.

The highlight was the 'knowing wink and nod' bit. What a cheb end.

Exactly, just complete bollocks.

Plays up to the mags with the usual talk of it being uncivilised, the hatred, our inferiority complex etc
Mentions places in Sunderland like the Deaf Club, St Peters Metro to make it seem genuine, but no real detail
The quite laughable 'knowing wink and nod' as if in the crowd of 48k+ you're going to really spot the odd fellow mag
Then tops it with the laughable 'key stats' from the game, ignoring the actual key stat to everygame - the scoreline
No photos barring the ticket.

And as usual many of the deluded fuckers will lap it up.
 
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