Been a tough week

Discussion in 'SMB' started by offshore, Feb 13, 2018.

  1. offshore

    offshore Central Defender

    Tuesday night mam rings to say dad's fell over in the house again ( Parkinsons) only to find him dead on the floor 5 mins after the call. So instinct kicks in and I start working on him as I tell her to ring an ambulance. So I continue for about 10 minutes and I get a response all be it a small one a response. I continue till the ambulance crew turned up. They take over and I still have to do cpr until another crew come. They give him adrenaline and for the first time in about 30 mins he' breathing on his own all be it not very good! They get him in the ambulance and I go with the fast car response woman to a&e. After about 20 mins of being in there I get called into a room to be told he died again in the ambulance and he's been rushed up to iccu. Another 40 mins or so they take us up to be told they have gave him drugs to put him under and is ventilated to help him breath. Doctor says come back tomorrow and we will know more, so me and mam go home (around 3.30am) Wednesday comes and my brothers come up from Kent and we go in to see him. Not a good sight as he's having some sort of fitting thing every few seconds. Doctor takes us down to a room and says well sorry but it looks like he's got massive brain damage from lack of oxygen but they won' know more till 24hrs when they take him off the drugs and try and wake him up... now Thursday and we get there for 12 and doctor says they stopped the drugs and he didn' respond so what do you want to do!!!! It's never a question i thought i would be asked so we said he would never want to be alive as a vegetable so turn it off. Fuck me it was the worst thing I've ever seen someone you love die infront of you!!!! Heart breaking is not the word. I feel like shit for bringing him back and putting him through 48thr of hell.. I just can' stop seeing him on the floor...sorry to go on but I need to tell someone.
     
  2. That’s absolutely tragic, my sincere condolences to you and your family.
     
    offshore likes this.
  3. I'm very sorry for your loss mate.

    Don't blame yourself for those 48 hours, he won't have suffered. You did everything you could, you would have always regretted doing anything less.

    Thoughts with you and yours.
     
  4. AB22 Easy Tiger

    AB22 Easy Tiger Nocturnal Tourist Staff Member Contributor

    Sorry fella, that's awful.
     
    offshore likes this.
  5. You've been through a hell of a lot there mate - so sorry.
     
    offshore likes this.
  6. Flared Hicks

    Flared Hicks Striker

    Sounds like you did a hell of a job to give him that last chance of pulling through, but sadly it just wasn't to be. I know it's hard, but try to replace the picture in your head with others of him when he was with the family, doing his hobbies, screaming at the lads from the terraces, or even just sitting quietly with a pint or a book in a peaceful place.

    And smile back at the happy memories you shared while he was around.
     
    riffraff, PTR, foggy and 7 others like this.
  7. You did what you felt was best, never blame yourself for that. No easy answers. May he now rest in peace and you move on with only good memories.
     
    offshore likes this.
  8. Dagzd1973

    Dagzd1973 Midfield

    You did everything you could to try and save your Dad. Don't feel remorse, mate. You did the right thing.

    Tragic story. Sorry for your loss.
     
  9. Taffyduck

    Taffyduck Winger

    Sorry for your loss.
     
    offshore likes this.
  10. skullmeister

    skullmeister Winger

    Absolutely amazing what you done mate and it was the right thing. I'm very sorry for you and your family's loss.
     
    offshore likes this.
  11. sidneyeric

    sidneyeric Striker

    You did the same thing we all would have done you are not to blame for anything, massive respect for putting this on here, I wish you all the best.
     
    offshore likes this.
  12. You did your best mate, don’t second guess yourself for trying to save your dads life.
     
    offshore and Nipple Salad like this.
  13. Daylight

    Daylight Full Back

    Thoughts are with you at this very sad time. You did what you thought was best.
     
    offshore likes this.
  14. Nipple Salad

    Nipple Salad Central Defender

    Absolutely not your fault trying to make a bad situation better. Chin up marra and ignore any nagging doubts.
     
    offshore likes this.
  15. offshore

    offshore Central Defender

    It's not easy coming to terms with what has happened never mind what I saw and also did at the time. The only thing that's keeping me together is that my brother and mam had a chance to say goodbye. Thanks everyone for there kind words
     
    PinzaC55, Nipple Salad and KarenDent like this.
  16. Slow joe

    Slow joe Central Defender

    Christ that sounds horrendous. No words really except how very sorry I am to hear it.
     
    offshore likes this.
  17. janey

    janey Striker Contributor

    So sorry, I’m pretty sure we’d all do the same, and as you say it gave people time to say goodbye for which I’m sure they are grateful.
    Look after yourself and each other xx
     
    Nipple Salad, offshore and 007Iron like this.
  18. stretch

    stretch Striker

    Very brave effort mate, condolences for your loss.
     
    offshore likes this.
  19. Tommasi

    Tommasi Striker

    Mate if you hadn't tried to save him you would of regretted it for the rest of your life. You did the right thing, don't beat yourself up about it.
     
  20. Skandhaless

    Skandhaless Striker

    Awful mate and a big shock for all. Ultimately the body makes its own final choices and you did all you could to keep your dad's choices available for as long as possible . Well done mate you couldn't have done more and I 'm sure your family are very proud and grateful for the way you acted .
    It might take a few weeks to get over , if it's still intrusive after 6 weeks or so ( disturbing sleep , feeling on edge etc) get to talk to a professional sharp .
    All the best .
     

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