Ashamed of Being Poor

Mackem00 said:
Should have probably asked how much it was gonna cost before agreeing to pay half tbf.
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Do you not think £250 is a bit extravagant for a bridesmaid dress? £100 is still pricey for a dress, then £30 for shoes and then tried to get me to pay for my make up and nails which was another £40 . Sorry but friends don't do that to mates who they know have little spare money
 


alisafc said:
Do you not think £250 is a bit extravagant for a bridesmaid dress? £100 is still pricey for a dress, then £30 for shoes and then tried to get me to pay for my make up and nails which was another £40 . Sorry but friends don't do that to mates who they know have little spare money
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I think it's daft full stop but agreeing to pay half then just refusing isn't ideal either. Just my opinion like.
 
Mackem00 said:
I think it's daft full stop but agreeing to pay half then just refusing isn't ideal either. Just my opinion like.
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She was waiting to see if we would say yes before choosing the more expensive ones because she couldn't afford them herself. Just cheeky imo. And as soon as I found out how much they were I did say I couldn't afford it so she had loads of time to get different ones or a different bridesmaid ha
 
alisafc said:
I was a bridesmaid in 2015, bride asked if we would pay half of the dress I couldn't really afford it but said yes , so she went ahead, turns out they were over £200 dresses and I said I couldn't afford it (single parent on minimum wage working pt time) and she'd have to lump it . We also bought the shoes. I've never worn either of them since. She never got the money and hasn't spoken to me since and even cut me out of the photos on social media. So when things like this happen you really find out what sort of people your friends are
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why not lend the dress and shoes to the op's daughter
 
Emma Chisset said:
We are obviously a poor family on a very low income and have been this way for many years. Although sometimes we are also called needy, underclass, destitute and other current buzz words, I prefer 'poor' because it's simple to understand and is the word used down through history.

I've never been worried about saying that I'm poor. People know we exist. There are poor people around, so why be ashamed to say it?

However, my daughter (19) who is a paramedic student, has been asked to be a bridesmaid at a rich friend's wedding. After she had said yes, the bride said "oh great, here's a link to where you can buy the bridesmaid dress I want for £80 and the special silver shoes for £50. It goes without saying that this is a fantasy amount of money for us. We haven't got it plain and simple. The daughter lives on her hardship grant money and a part time job in a care home.

I say that she should not be ashamed to say sorry, I don't have that sort of money because it will show her up as being poor. I say that's stupid and the richies ought to be paying in the first place anyway.

What do YOU think? Should she starve and buy the stuff herself without saying anything just to save face? Why are people ashamed to say they're poor?
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Bridesmaid dressers should be paid for simple as that, you don’t ask people to be bridesmaids or best man for that matter then expect them to pay for their own dress or suit!

Simple as that
Dave Herbal said:
I’d never heard of a groomsman until I read this thread. Is this more unnecessary wedding extravagance dreamed up by the suit hire people?
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I simply don’t believe that mind!
oROSSo said:
Still don’t think that’s unreasonable

And you know I didn’t say I expect that from people but that’s how much I’d deem acceptable and comfortable with as giving as a gift to newlyweds
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f***ing hell!

Deluded in the extreme!
 
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Voice of fair play said:
Bridesmaid dressers should be paid for simple as that, you don’t ask people to be bridesmaids or best man for that matter then expect them to pay for their own dress or suit!

Simple as that


I simply don’t believe that mind!


f***ing hell!

Deluded in the extreme!
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Completely true. If you’d asked me a week ago I would have guessed it was an American wedding thing.
 
Dave Herbal said:
Completely true. If you’d asked me a week ago I would have guessed it was an American wedding thing.
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Yeah I should not have jumped in, as later on in the thread you mentioned ushers.

I was thinking you must have been to a wedding with blokes in suits with the groom so how could you not have heard of groomsmen, you just thought their were called ushers.
 
oROSSo said:
Didn’t realise there was absolute right and wrong answers of how much someone deems to give as a gift.

Would I be deluded for giving money away to charity too?
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Maybe I jumped the gun mate, it’s your money you can give what you personally want, it’s the expection that people would expect that much that is deluded imo.
 

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