Ashamed of Being Poor

Emma Chisset

Subs Bench
We are obviously a poor family on a very low income and have been this way for many years. Although sometimes we are also called needy, underclass, destitute and other current buzz words, I prefer 'poor' because it's simple to understand and is the word used down through history.

I've never been worried about saying that I'm poor. People know we exist. There are poor people around, so why be ashamed to say it?

However, my daughter (19) who is a paramedic student, has been asked to be a bridesmaid at a rich friend's wedding. After she had said yes, the bride said "oh great, here's a link to where you can buy the bridesmaid dress I want for £80 and the special silver shoes for £50. It goes without saying that this is a fantasy amount of money for us. We haven't got it plain and simple. The daughter lives on her hardship grant money and a part time job in a care home.

I say that she should not be ashamed to say sorry, I don't have that sort of money because it will show her up as being poor. I say that's stupid and the richies ought to be paying in the first place anyway.

What do YOU think? Should she starve and buy the stuff herself without saying anything just to save face? Why are people ashamed to say they're poor?
 
We are obviously a poor family on a very low income and have been this way for many years. Although sometimes we are also called needy, underclass, destitute and other current buzz words, I prefer 'poor' because it's simple to understand and is the word used down through history.

I've never been worried about saying that I'm poor. People know we exist. There are poor people around, so why be ashamed to say it?

However, my daughter (19) who is a paramedic student, has been asked to be a bridesmaid at a rich friend's wedding. After she had said yes, the bride said "oh great, here's a link to where you can buy the bridesmaid dress I want for £80 and the special silver shoes for £50. It goes without saying that this is a fantasy amount of money for us. We haven't got it plain and simple. The daughter lives on her hardship grant money and a part time job in a care home.

I say that she should not be ashamed to say sorry, I don't have that sort of money because it will show her up as being poor. I say that's stupid and the richies ought to be paying in the first place anyway.

What do YOU think? Should she starve and buy the stuff herself without saying anything just to save face? Why are people ashamed to say they're poor?
Say nothing except I really can’t afford that?
The response will go a long way to determine the sort of people who are getting married.
Be proud of your Daughter like, I know you will be.
I’m a poor kid that has done alright but do you know what “the who I really am” will and has never changed.
Anyone who judges themselves on the money they earn don’t usually cut it with me
 

mickeymoor

Full Back
She need to tell the truth as a 19 year old student how do they expect her to pay, if they have no money worry they probable have never even thought about it. You must be very proud of her working part time in a caring role to become a real life saver and a important member of society. The wedding is not important what she is training to become is, you have something that is more important than money
 

MackemLass

Full Back
No way a bridesmaid should be buying an outfit that she may not even want to wear. If your daughter is paying then your daughter should surely choose. Different as a guest where you can spend what you want on an outfit of your choice.

If a bride(zilla) wants a friend to be a part of her special day then she should be paying for the outfit.

When I got married I paid for the bridesmaids dresses and shoes and bought their jewellery as their thank you gift. We also bought all the groomsmen outfits incl shoes, cufflinks and thank you gifts.
We are by no means rich but we are comfortable and we bought and paid for what we could afford.

I'd never be ashamed to say I couldn't afford something, what is cheap to someone is costly to another.
 

Slow joe

Midfield
I've been poor all my life. Never had a mortgage, currently got about 4k debt and 500 quid in the bank. Doesn't bother me in the slightest and its sad that people are so obsessive over money and wealth. The most generous people I know are the ones that don't have 2 pennies to rub together.
 

hairynaker

Midfield
Never heard of a bride asking the bridesmaids to buy their dresses before, let alone people with money. Mad. I dont think there is anything wrong with saying you cannot afford it, if it's a friend they will understand.
 

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