Are you incredibly self destructive?

Pnematic

Central Defender
Not so much self destructive but I m perfectionist- even when I do a cracking diy job ( that everyone says is great) I see the flaws in it.
Same at work .- can’t do half a job.

Only stuff I do though- never criticise others . It’s a huge competition against myself- and no winners.

Not complaining like as it’s paid dividends tbh - there’s much worse off than me.
 


PrisonBroken

Midfield
Not so much self destructive but I m perfectionist- even when I do a cracking diy job ( that everyone says is great) I see the flaws in it.
Same at work .- can’t do half a job.

Only stuff I do though- never criticise others . It’s a huge competition against myself- and no winners.

Not complaining like as it’s paid dividends tbh - there’s much worse off than me.
Playing armchair psychologist, how were your parents at praising you.

My dad taught me the we are all stupid humans, I think so I had confidence I was as good as anybody, all it did was make me think we are all divvies :)
 

Paddy O'Dors

Striker
Used to be in my younger days. Nowadays I'm more the opposite. I'm an analytical thinker and tend to think two or three steps ahead rather than be irrational and spontaneous.

I do let mesel down in the pub sometimes though. 3 pints leads to 4, which leads to 5 and so on til I cannit remember getting home.
 

Yellerish

Central Defender
Goodness I can relate to most of the posts on here

Have only started to realise some of this stuff of late.

I've destroyed pretty much every relationship I've been in. If it gets a bit tough, instead of wandering off shaking my head, I'll just ruin everything in it instead

I managed to completely wreck one job to the point of embarrassment and shame. I hated it with a passion and it was making me ill, should have walked away but something inside decided to really screw it all up - possibly as an escape route, possibly as revenge even.

Am still picking up the pieces of some of the latest disasters and will be for a while

Am also very addictive.

Also, the parent thing. Recognised that.

Am too shy and quiet for 'drama' I might tell myself. Yet I attract it. Cause it.
 
I have an addictive personality too, if I get an interest in something it takes over my life.
For example, I can’t just buy the shopping I need. I have to have at least three 26 packs of toilet rolls, 20 bottles of shampoo/bubble bath etc. My cupboards are overflowing with tinned food, I have 2 big fridge freezers that I can’t fit another thing in and there are only me and my two youngest kids at home.
I started doing 1000 piece jigsaws again about a month ago and instead of just buying one or two at a time I must have bought at least 50 in the last month and am still buying them. I buy clothes for me and the kids constantly despite all our wardrobes being chocca block and not being able to fit another thing in.It’s crazy but I just can’t stop.
My friend who I loved fell out with me last year and I have been so miserable since then I think I am overcompensating by buying things that I don’t need. No idea why to be honest as none of it makes me any happier.
 
Most people I know who have this problem all have a problem with the drink /drugs and tattoos (and loads of them )is another recurring theme.

Do you think it's the drink and drugs that leads to it though? I seen something before that said people with undiagnosed mental health issues such as ADHD often leads to drink and drugs as they struggle to cope normally. And from personal experience I can find that very relatable.

Edit: oh and to answer the OP, yes very much so.
 
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Emcon

Goalkeeper
I think mine stems from a tendency for thinking the worst in people and deep rooted believe that no one actually cares about me. Except for my local takeaway owner, bugger would be out of business without me!
Young people are overly trusting and if your burned a few times, it can be devastating to your sense of the worth in a world that is no longer a safe place.
I never had that problem as my parents were classically bad i.e. drunken father with a nasty streak and cold mother and I was pre-programmed to doubt everything and everybody.

To get out of the negative feedback cycle your already halfway there, as self reflection is a good thing in small doses. I think the secret to life are work and hobbies that fill up your time and fortify your own little universe that nobody can touch, but not become overly reliant on it either. As ever with these conversations its like the old adage: 'everything in small doses' as humans have a tendency to obsession as a means to avoid reality.
 

Nukehasslefan

Midfield
If you're comfortable with yourself you are comfortable with life.

Any slight hang up can trigger all kinds of issues, extra.
Some people see the good in things and some people see too much good in things and are always waiting for something to give, rather than enjoying that particular occasion/mindset.

A lot of people are still running on child issues, whether it's growing up in a big family and being the fall guy or the pressure of being the one looked up to by the rest, down to the more horrible stuff which I won't mention.

A lot of people put on a great outer shell. A nice big shield up to deflect any criticism of them but tend to catch it all in a bottle to take home with them. Until the bottle gets full and the pressure gives.

People that tend to be nasty may not want to be but use it as their immediate attack first rather than a shield up mentality.
Trying to be nice to people like this can create massive discomfort in them because they may be geared up for consistent retaliation and fight.


We're a strange bunch us humans but we create out own issues in our own ways because of what we all are in ourselves.
Get comfortable with you and remember we all have issues that need addressing, no matter how tiny or how big. An issue is an issue and a tiny one can become big as much as bigger issues can become smaller.
 
Serious question... Are you self destructive in your personal life?

I've an addictive personality, coupled with the fact I deeply fear commitment and its caused me no end of problems.

When things are going right do you self sabotage or am I alone?
No, i'm not self destructive. And its unlikely you're alone in that.

I tend to enjoy and relish things going well, and then have short bouts of quite a negative (justified) opinion of myself.
 

Gillythedilf

Midfield
Do you think it's the drink and drugs that leads to it though? I seen something before that said people with undiagnosed mental health issues such as ADHD often leads to drink and drugs as they struggle to cope normally. And from personal experience I can find that very relatable.

Edit: oh and to answer the OP, yes very much so.
No

the tattoos seem to come 1st tbh.I’ve always considered it a form of self harm for some or at the very least attention seeking.
 

AB22 Easy Tiger

Director
Staff member
Serious question... Are you self destructive in your personal life?

I've an addictive personality, coupled with the fact I deeply fear commitment and its caused me no end of problems.

When things are going right do you self sabotage or am I alone?
Yep, I’ve done it all of my life, even when I’ve been incredibly successful at work there’s always a destructive element. Whether it was linked to the amount of alcohol I used to drink I’m not sure, as since I gave that up I’ve been just as bad.

I do see a psychologist every week (completely normal around here, everyone has a shrink), and she helps a lot.

She’s seriously cute too
 
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I just want a peaceful & happy life, and to be around people who make me happy


In the past, I've tolerated some people, and given them far too much of my time and patience, than they actually deserved.
I now no longer tolerate, or give my time, to those who have little or no time for me.

Yes I've made mistakes and errors of judgement along the way, and I know I've hurt some people who will always mean a lot to me, and that saddens me greatly, but it's something I have to live with, and hope I can learn from my mistakes, and hopefully in time, repair the damage caused.
 
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Yellerish

Central Defender
Yep, I’ve done it all of my life, even when I’ve been incredibly successful at work there’s always a destructive element. Whether it was linked to the amount of alcohol I used to drink I’m not sure, as since I gave that up I’ve been just as bad.

I do see a psychologist every week (completely normal around here, everyone has a shrink), and she helps a lot.

She’s seriously cute too
Made me laugh, completely inappropriately of course
 

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