Are you happy? Is your life going well?



Bob Fleming

Striker
Pretty good and happy really. And very much appreciate that I've had it quite easy compared to the life journey some go on.

We have two healthy and happy kids which is the main thing. Live in a nice house in a good area and live comfortably. But we have tried to fit too much in of late and need to slow down and concentrate on ourselves so making a few changes for next year for a slower life. Work is good but can be stressful and I'm not great health wise but slowing down and taking more time for exercise and wellness will help with both of those.

Still ask myself every single day if I've made the right big choices. I still think I have.
 

Emcon

Goalkeeper
I am and mine is. Yeah there’s always room for improvement but I’ve got pretty much everything I want. Had a few crap things in my life in the last year but I’ve erased them. Accepted a new job with the home office this week that I wasn’t even looking for and more money so nice way to end the year.

Just was interested to see how people are feeling. Had a funny few years I suppose and it would be nice to hear if people are optimistic for the future. We tend to dwell a lot on what’s not going so well.
The short answer is no.... Family man with a large mortgage and a child in later life makes you feel crushed with the weight of responsibility to provide. Panic attacks whenever my mind switches to negative mode and I envy you the peace of mind you seem to have found.
 

Goat Eyes

Striker
The short answer is no.... Family man with a large mortgage and a child in later life makes you feel crushed with the weight of responsibility to provide. Panic attacks whenever my mind switches to negative mode and I envy you the peace of mind you seem to have found.
Makes you wonder if the mortgage is worth it.
 

Kent_Mackem

Striker
I'd be satisfied with remembering what happy felt like.

In the last 4 years I've separated from my child's mother, my dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed away, had to move away from Sunderland to be closer to the bairn and work which was followed by the pandemic. I haven't made friends with anyone here and friends back home/family never come to visit. Come to think of it it's 24 November and I'm still waiting for my first foot. Old friends have absolutely no desire to do anything more interesting than standing in an empty pub once every 3 months or so and there's been zero romantic interest since me and my ex split up.

On the plus side I have an ok job, my own home and an amazing son but if anything ever happened to him then I would choose to end my life.

I'm happy for everyone who is happy though :lol:
Sorry to hear all of that mate. At least you have Sunderland AFC flying high in The Premiership, eh? Ah... hang on :lol:

Seriously though - don't ever, ever think about ending your life (unless diagnosed with a terminal/degenerative disease). Obviously let's hope your lad stays fit and healthy but in any circumstances, even if you are convinced of the opposite at the time, the world is a better place with you in it, always.

There are bits in your story above that I can relate to very closely. The first thing I do now if any of my mates or family split up with their partner is ask them how they are and then check in again a few weeks later. When I split up with my missus, apart from my parents (who were in Portugal at the time for a few weeks and felt helpless) only a single mate even asked me if I was OK. I was not OK. My in-laws disowned me. I was very close to them for 20 years. I didn't cheat on their daughter and I didn't leave her in the lurch... far from it in fact. I am still the loving, caring and inspiring father of their very happy grandchildren who I have for exactly 50% of the time. The fact that her parents just could not accept that it was the correct decision to make proved to me that the only reason they were so nice to me up until then was just because I was with their daughter and no other resaon. Important lesson learnt there. I was incredibly disappointed for a while but in the long run it only made me more sure I had made the right decision.

As you'll hear repeated, time heals. I was a train wreck for the first 2 years. I still feel sad at times 4 years on, and it was my own decision. I know it's a cliche but try to look into some new hobbies maybe? You don't have to do them regularly or often, but you might be surprised how many new people you'll meet. Friendships and more can be found in the most unexpected places. I tried about 5 or 6 new things and stuck with 2 of them (running with the dog and helping out a professional team of archaeologists at any exavation sites when they are near where I live on the days I don't have contracted work). If the old friends are a bit lacking, try meeting a few new ones in a different pub or by doing some sort of passtime or nightclass. Maybe it's even time to change jobs to make you a bit happier and meet some new people?

We only get one life. Sounds like you've had a bad time of it the last 4 years, but make the most of the rest of your time... we don't get long enough as you'll know from your dad.

Hope you feel happier soon. I'm sure it will come. 🍻
 
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Mackem00

Striker
Its not, its crippling but like any father you want the best for your children and so it is what it is.
Nah, fuck that. Life's too short as it is. Each to their own tho.
Not for me to preach but that shouldn’t be at the expense of your own happiness. Also, your child wouldn’t know the difference between a £100k house and a £500k house.
Aye, this. Just bricks and mortar in the grand scheme of things.
 
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I've had what I can only describe as a turbulent few years since 2016. Everything has been a struggle - landing a permanent job, buying a house, trying to get financially secure. Just about made it, then diagnosed with a chronic illness that had me in hospital in May for a week.

Overall though, I'm pretty content with where I am. I fret a little about retirement, but I'm paying out contributions through work and have a LISA so those, with another investment or two should see me through.

I wouldn't go back to 2015-18, I'll put it that way.
 
Pretty good and happy really. And very much appreciate that I've had it quite easy compared to the life journey some go on.

We have two healthy and happy kids which is the main thing. Live in a nice house in a good area and live comfortably. But we have tried to fit too much in of late and need to slow down and concentrate on ourselves so making a few changes for next year for a slower life. Work is good but can be stressful and I'm not great health wise but slowing down and taking more time for exercise and wellness will help with both of those.

Still ask myself every single day if I've made the right big choices. I still think I have.
Really difficult not to but try not thinking over things you’ve done in regards to the right choices they’ve been made and you can’t change them is how I look at it.
 

Professor Yaffle

Central Defender
I am lucky in that I tend to take things as they come. 10 years ago my life was a mess due to my own daftness. Took stock, made a few decisions about my behaviour, and went off in.a new direction. Out of the blue I was offered a job in China teaching English. I decided to do it for a year, and I'm now in my sixth year here. I have managed to teach myself to speak Mandarin (after a fashion, I'm not fluent) and I love it here. Dating a cute Chinese lass 25 years my junior, but I live on my own, which is how I like it. I'm earning good dough and living a good life. If it all disappeared tomorrow I would be happy that I had this experience. Only one life... might as well live it.
 

Emcon

Goalkeeper
Not for me to preach but that shouldn’t be at the expense of your own happiness. Also, your child wouldn’t know the difference between a £100k house and a £500k house.
I'm happy for people if everyone else is happy and never really consider myself as a person allowed to be happy. To be honest I'm depressing myself writing this so will stop.
 

mackemal

Midfield
Am extremely happy as a 42 year old bloke with a mortgage 2 step kids 1 on the way and a wedding to pay for can be.

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer last year and required emergency surgery (as in 4 hours after the diagnosis I was in theatre) they managed to take it all out and it seems to have stayed away.
I had complications February this year which resulted in a 12 hour operation then 48 hours in a medically induced coma as I developed sepsis and they weren't sure if they caught it in time, thankfully they did.
Lived over a year with an ileostomy bag which meant I had to carry spare bags and a change of clothes everywhere I went in case my bag leaked as well as having to be careful with what I ate.

Going through all that gave me a completely different perspective on my life.

I don't worry about much now as long as I keep a roof above my families head, food on the table and some spare to cover Christmas, birthdays & holidays nothing else is really important.

Don't worry about the small stuff as it will as a rule of thumb they will sort themselves out.

Keep the big stuff under control and don't stretch yourself to thin.

If you have kids spending time with them is more precious than any present you can get them.

If your need to talk to someone whether its a partner a friend or a therapist do so. It may not solve your problems but it will ease some of the burden.

Just re-read that and it sounds very preachy/soapy/soap boxy but I stand by every word
 

monkeytassle

Striker
Pretty good and happy really. And very much appreciate that I've had it quite easy compared to the life journey some go on.

We have two healthy and happy kids which is the main thing. Live in a nice house in a good area and live comfortably. But we have tried to fit too much in of late and need to slow down and concentrate on ourselves so making a few changes for next year for a slower life. Work is good but can be stressful and I'm not great health wise but slowing down and taking more time for exercise and wellness will help with both of those.

Still ask myself every single day if I've made the right big choices. I still think I have.
This is interesting and it's because I over analyse stuff. If I look back over every decision I'd made I'd a) have the perfect life and b) be richer. On the flip side I wouldnt have been where I am now.

It's like Facebook. You only see the best of what you see. 20/20 hindsight
 

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