Are we losing parenting skills?


Joking aside mate my youngun struggled like fuck academically when he first started school. Really struggled to retain stuff. He just seemed to find the whole learning really hard. Few meetings with school, new strategies put in place and now he's coming along champion. The initial struggles certainly wasn't down to any want of not caring on our part. So yes it does stick a tad to see people hoying blame about to the parents when it comes to it all
You've been on here long enough man Rob. Everyone else is perfect. :cool:
But yeah, all kids are massively different and you can't do any more than you are already doing by the sounds of things. Still finding their way at that age.
 
Joking aside mate my youngun struggled like fuck academically when he first started school. Really struggled to retain stuff. He just seemed to find the whole learning really hard. Few meetings with school, new strategies put in place and now he's coming along champion. The initial struggles certainly wasn't down to any want of not caring on our part. So yes it does stick a tad to see people hoying blame about to the parents when it comes to it all
You don't need me to say this as you've been on here long enough but don't let them wind you up mate. The SMB is like no other place on earth for people wanting to look down their noses, judge and criticise total strangers.

It really is a bizarre place. I'm sure at no other time has someone described their three and a half year old as being "42 months old".
 
The better side of me would like to think that the reason for that declining is changes in socialisation and higher expectations for girls.

Social conservatives have always wanted their fictitious Victorian values and respect. People are so much safer nowadays that it's not even worth engaging the notion.
The ' better' part of me might like to think of myself thinking that too. I think its probably more to do with paranoia; increased road traffic, etc . Smaller nuclear families might also contribute . Once upon a time a 12 year old girl would have helped with 2-3 siblings and probably twice as many baby cousins who lived close . They were naturally socialised to experience real babies as part of life . I'm not going to lie and say i see the demise of that as a good thing
 
Again I'm not doubting that but there seems to be a rush to hit blame about just cos a child cant do something at a certain age. Some kids take to sport better than others. I certainly wouldn't blame a parent cos a child isn't a good footballer than others so parents shouldn't necessarily be blamed because they are not developed education wise as good as others
Don't underestimate the impact of covid. Our youngest was born not long before the brutal lockdown and had maybe 3 weeks of nursery before it was shut down.

Since then we've been almost forcing her into social situations just to try and get back up to normality. Thankfully her older sister has been amazing.

We do small TV time every day and we always read before bed. Homework every day beyong what the school set and they're both well ahead dev wise. Maybe they're smart, maybe the teachers are good, maybe we are just lucky.

Home. Learning is essential though. We have blackboards and books everywhere in the house for them to practice etc. Got a piano teacher in for them to learn and I do maths and Mrs does French.

Parents really do set a work ethic imo. If parents are lazy layabouts then the kids will do the same.
 
I like to think I’m a decent parent, but my youngest however is being assessed by and Ed physiologist and having counselling. Breaks my heart, my oldest lad breezed through school no issues now at 6th Form.

Unfortunately there Dad rushed ahead blending families poor bairn struggling with it all.
 
I like to think I’m a decent parent, but my youngest however is being assessed by and Ed physiologist and having counselling. Breaks my heart, my oldest lad breezed through school no issues now at 6th Form.

Unfortunately there Dad rushed ahead blending families poor bairn struggling with it all.
That is no reflection of your parenting. It’s more likely the result of his dads actions and no doubt how he’s buried his head as a result of what he’s done.
 
Ah, kids aren't what they used to be. Some children take a little longer to toilet train, some aren't ready and get pushed to do it which has an adverse impact. It's not as straightforward as lazy parent Vs proactive parent.

I might be wrong but I think the OP has mentioned they're around 70, apologies if that is incorrect, some memory being able to recall the toilet habits in reception. Though I suppose memories aren't what they used to be either.
Exactly, my son was ten times more effort compared to my daughter with toilet training. No difference in approach, other than we spent a ridiculous amount of time on him because we had to. Think sometimes people take for granted of their kid does ok with things.

Reading at home if you can't read or can't very well isn't straight forward. Struggled with mine in his first year as I didn't understand what was required in places but luckily the teacher welcomed questions.
 
If trained professionals can't get a child reading after 3-4 year what chance has an untrained parent? Surely if a 7yo can't read to any standard there are some fundamental issues behind that?
All 7 year olds can read to a standard. Some will be above their age some will be below their age. Some people think all kids should leave school with the same level of attainment. They're kids not cars coming off the production line at Nissan.
I'm doubting any of that but it's all about balance and some kids are more receptive that others. If a child is struggling to read or write to a certain standard at sat 6yo then it just maybe because they are not naturally good at things like that rather then just saying it's the parents fault. Kids will learn when they are ready to learn. You can push them as much as you want but if they are not ready it won't sink in and you could end up turning them off it all and doing more damage than good
Two brothers went through my school, two years difference. The older one really struggled, one if the lowest academic achievers I've taught. The youngest was bright as s button, hardly needed teaching. He could just do things. Same family, same teachers just two completely different outcomes. Bumped into the older one before Christmas he's 22 now, working as a groundworker. Doing well.
 
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All 7 year olds can read to a standard. Some will be above their age some will be below their age. Some people think all kids should leave school with the same level of attainment. They're kids not cars coming off the production line at Nissan.

That's exactly my point marra. Some people seem to be equating how well a kid is doing at school with how well they have been getting parented at home. All kids are different and I think it's a bit sad that when a particular child may not be doing as well as another the first port of call is to blame the parenting skills of mam and dad
 
That's exactly my point marra. Some people seem to be equating how well a kid is doing at school with how well they have been getting parented at home. All kids are different and I think it's a bit sad that when a particular child may not be doing as well as another the first port of call is to blame the parenting skills of mam and dad

Each case has to be dealt with on an individual basis. Some kids do suffer from their home life, some kids struggle no matter how much parental support they are given. As I said in my previous post they're not cars on a production line at Nissan, although some see them as such.
 
You don't need me to say this as you've been on here long enough but don't let them wind you up mate. The SMB is like no other place on earth for people wanting to look down their noses, judge and criticise total strangers.

It really is a bizarre place. I'm sure at no other time has someone described their three and a half year old as being "42 months old".

Mostly though, people talk in broad strokes and don't mean kids who may have SEN or other difficulties, or particularly disadvantageous home circumstances.

There's also a tendency for posters to jump on someone making a general point about kids who suffer because their parents are knackers, with specific examples of a kid who has struggled through no fault of anyone.
 

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