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Goat Eyes

Striker
I tell her to fuck off more than I say thank you.

The time she starts accepting my pronunciation of “iPlayer” instead of me having to do an impression of fucking Boycey* from Only Fools and Horses, is the day I thank the useless cow.




*not an exaggeration either, the useless piece of black plastic shit.
I often thank the cash machine.

Feel like a tit when I’ve done it, but I feel better knowing I have.

Alexa Pipe is off.......
Calling... “plumber”!
 
When it is quiet i can whisper from the other side of the room and it will hear me
However when I have set a timer when cooking and the alarm goes off and I try to tell her to stop the alarm while standing next to it she gans deaf
Alexa Stop
ALEXA STOP
ALEXA STOP!!!!!
 
I tell her to fuck off more than I say thank you.
I'm probably the same but they have addressed one of my biggest issues. Whenever I told it to turn the lights on it would reply with 'okay' in a smug, sarcastic tone. Just switch the fucking lights on, I'm not after a conversation.
Always started the day in a bad mood but now it has replaced the 'okay' with a beep. Better but not perfect. I sort of know if my command has been received as the bloody lights would be on.
 

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