Advice needed with ex and son.



Titus said:
I don't think grassing to a potential woman beater is a good idea.
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This god knows what he'd do to her in that case. If he's got criminal convictions for assault then he'll sadly slip up and if social services are already involved with his child then they'll drag the ex and son into it. Hopefully she sees sense soon though
 
No easy answer,for all his ex may seem genuine there's some right fruit loops about as in mental after a drink and the most believable angel the next
There may be truth in it but who knows how much.i'm sure your ex is as caring and protective as you of your son so i would have a sensible chat with her then see how it goes
 
Typhoonftm said:
I would imagine if he has no charges, there's little you can do. (Legally)
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This ....however if social services are aware of alleged concerns over him before it all builds a picture and they work on most likely assumption not beyond any doubt. So if his card has already been marked they may well want to have a word.
 
Im going to just do things properly. No point speaking to my ex as she is defending him to the hilt. I have asked his ex if there is any concrete evidence of him knocking her about and in the court documents (which she cant show me just yet) is his confession to doing it.
Im speaking to social services at 3.30 and will take it from there.
 
Jgrainger said:
I know there is a thing called Clare’s law that I could contact the police about but I’m not sure how useful that will be if he doesn’t have an actual conviction of knocking anyone about. The lass has also given me a name and number of somebody to call at social services so I think I will call them at lunch.

Any help or advice would be great!!
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Still contact the Police. Clare's Law covers all violent acts, not just domestic violence and also covers cautions or any other involvement with the Police that may put your son at risk. He might not have convictions because the lass didn't report him, but there might be something else you can use to keep your lad safe. Or there might be nothing at all which may put your mind at ease if it's just the ex stirring things.
 
Some Random Guy said:
I'm sure she sees it that way. Let's take it at face value, he likely didn't hit her because she burnt his tea. They were probably pissed as fuck, some horrible things were being thrown about and it happened.

Is that okay? Fuck no, of course not.

Should you be getting involved past giving your ex a heads up, which you've done, at this stage? Probably not.
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While you're probably right any how much the OP can do at the moment, I don't think it's that easy to dismiss the circumstances around his behaviour. It could be part of a pattern of abusive behaviour that never ends well if allowed to continue
 
Dodgy ground this.

You can’t take one person’s word at face value and a reasonable person shouldn’t expect someone else to. She should be providing proof. It’s as likely she’s a bitter ex stirring shit as he is an abuser. On the other hand, going to him directly could cause problems for his ex if it turns out to be true as it tips her hand to him.

Obviously you’re concerned for your son’s welfare but you’ve got to balance that out with not causing problems for a potentially innocent bloke.

I’d await further evidence and in the mean time, voice your concerns to your ex in a calm manner but state you’re willing to give him the benefit of the doubt until you’ve got reason to think otherwise.
 
Jgrainger said:
She sough me out. It did cross my mind that this just might be a ex looking for revenge etc but to be honest I dont get that impression and I genuinely believe she is only looking out for me lad.
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If the bloke hit your ex and the police got involved, then Social Services would likely get involved too. If you think your child is at risk from this man, you could contact SS with your concerns, but otherwise I'd probably just back off a bit tbh as it may just look like gossip / hearsay etc.
 
look out piano said:
If the bloke hit your ex and the police got involved, then Social Services would likely get involved too. If you think your child is at risk from this man, you could contact SS with your concerns, but otherwise I'd probably just back off a bit tbh as it may just look like gossip / hearsay etc.
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Yeah I’m sure you’d just back off if it was your kids.
 

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