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Let's all laugh at Newcastle

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GEMS OF THE PREMIERSHIP - wtf?

oh and yes I am sure many of us 'soiled' ourselves with joy!

that article is deluded and mental, it just goes to show they do think they are a BIG club (they once were - sort of) but they aint been for a decade as the article states

'Gobshite Quinn' - if I am not mistaken I heard the phone in the other night, and some mags were saying they would have SNQ in a crack, as they like they way he runs the club, and they were being sincere

bunch of barcode knackers

I truly hope they spiral downwards for the next decade
 
sorry if posted already



Tale of The TOON

(Sing to the tune of “The Blaydon Races”)

They all went down to Villa Park
Twas the 24th of May
Hoping God would smile on them
Upon the Sabbath day
Proud as punch in stripey shirts
Cream of the Geordie Nation
Ganning along to Birmingham
To see the relegation

Oh me lads you should’ve seen them crying
Watching the shambles on the pitch
Premier dreams a’dying
All the lads and lasses there
All had gloomy faces
Ganning doon to the championship
With aal of Shearer’s aces

Now way back in September
They told a different tale
Keegan’s second coming?
How could the players fail?
But then along come Dennis Wise
Who dared to travel Norf
Kevin didn’t like his ways
And quickly scarpered orf!

Oh me lads! I think they need a genie
Owen untfit, Xisco’s s**t
And what of Coloccini?
Given’s a great keeper
But he’s left the sinking ship
And Harper will be canny good
Doon in the championship

Now after Keegan scarpered
They all cried in their beer
But fear not, next up
Good old Joe Kinnear
With poor Joe confined to bed
For his recuperation
They wondered who’d be the man
To save the “Geordie Nation”

Oh me lads, the poor one’s in the Freeman
Ashley’s scared to watch a game
The fans are all a steamin’
Who could turn this team around
Before they turned to violence?
Hughton got the nod and came out
To the sound of silence

Ashley looked around and saw
The damage that they’d done
He’d lost a couple of million quid
For every game they’d won
He sank another pint in one
And had a revelation
Mary poppins is the one
To save the Geordie Nation

Oh me lads! The Toon are aal but dead
Obafemi’s injured
(or at least that’s what he said)
Ah can’t believe with Alan boss
We haven’t got much higher
Or is he just like Kevin Keegan
Just another false Messiah?

Oh me lads! The Toon are in the carts
No mare trips to Old Trafford
Now it’s off to foreign parts
Tell aal the cheeky Mackems
That this story isn’t over
Follow the Toon Army ALL
…the way to Doncaster Rovers!
 
.........and another one. HILARIOUS!!!

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Absolutely brilliant thread.

If this doesn't become GERLD then nothing deserves to! :)
 
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brir said:
Girls Aloud are playing Newcastle in August





Hansen thinks that they might get a draw
Click to expand...

:lol: :lol:

thats actually the best 'joke' yet. i like it!

better than the champion-chips and chamion-ships and difference between shearer and newcaslte blah blah blah
 
Q. Why is NUFC like an old bra?
A. No cups and little support.

Q. What is the difference between the Bermuda Triangle and NUFC?
A. The Bermuda Triangle has three points.

Q. What's the difference between a taxi driver and Steve Harper?
A. The taxi driver lets in only four at a time

They say that hooliganism and racism are bad, but personally I think that Peter Beardsley is the totally unacceptable face of British football.

Joey Barton has been sentenced to 6 hours community service. That means he has to play four games for City!

Q. Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A. Well, they had photos of Newcastle United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q. How many mags fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.

Michael Barrymore has offered Newcastle United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.

Q. What's the difference between a mag fan and a Vibrator?
A. A mag is a real dick
 
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