How big can a house spider grow?

I was once bucking a lass at hers, she was on top bucking back and suddenly she froze and let out a loud scream. It shocked me and I thought 'What the fuck, surely this is nowt to do with me?'. She then shouted "SPIDER!!!" and jumped off fast as fuck. I turned my head quickly, still in full stott on and look at the wall behind my head.
The biggest House Spider that I had ever seen was just a few inches above my head on the wall, I nearly shit myself and jumped up fast as fuck, heart racing!!
As this lasses naked body was shaking with fear, she shouted "I'll get the hoover and hoover it up". I shouted "No!! get me a cup
I stopped reading at "cup". Naked girl, naked man, cup, I could see where this was heading. PERVERT!
 


I don’t like them, no other insect bothers me but I just don’t like spiders. Make my skin crawl.
I use a cup to get rid of them, can’t touch them with my bare hands.

I never kill them though.
 
I don’t like them, no other insect bothers me but I just don’t like spiders. Make my skin crawl.
I use a cup to get rid of them, can’t touch them with my bare hands.

I never kill them though.

I'm exactly the same. I used to have some absolute beasts in the garage, but I just let them get on with things - you could see how big they were getting by the old skins that they used to shed. A big plus for them is they like to munch on a bluebottle, which I absolutely hate.
 
I was once bucking a lass at hers, she was on top bucking back and suddenly she froze and let out a loud scream. It shocked me and I thought 'What the fuck, surely this is nowt to do with me?'. She then shouted "SPIDER!!!" and jumped off fast as fuck. I turned my head quickly, still in full stott on and look at the wall behind my head.
The biggest House Spider that I had ever seen was just a few inches above my head on the wall, I nearly shit myself and jumped up fast as fuck, heart racing!!
As this lasses naked body was shaking with fear, she shouted "I'll get the hoover and hoover it up". I shouted "No!! get me a cup and a letter, I'll get rid of it" stating to her that we cannot kill it.
She brought up a cup and as I went to put the cup over it, it's legs were sticking out like fuck!! I did not want to damage its legs, so turned to her and said slowly and calmly, "We need a bigger cup", bit like what happened in the film Jaws.
She brought up a large food container and I got rid of the massive bastard using that. Chucked it out of her bedroom window, set it free!! sadly the bonking did not resume after that, because this scary event killed the passion in us both.

It was more than twice as large as this spider below and I have never seen a House Spider as large ever since.

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Sounds like you have the plot of your film sorted there... what’s the title?

Web of Love - starring Steve Guttenberg
 
I'm exactly the same. I used to have some absolute beasts in the garage, but I just let them get on with things - you could see how big they were getting by the old skins that they used to shed. A big plus for them is they like to munch on a bluebottle, which I absolutely hate.

I had a spider that used to live under the windowsill in my utility room and spin webs across the corner of the window. I just left it there as it wasn't causing any harm. There was a blue bottle so I wafted it towards the web where it got stuck. The spider came out, pounced on it and killed it, then kind of bound the bluebottle up and dragged it into gap under the windowsill. It was fascinating to watch.
 
Camping a couple year. Was in my mates caravan and there was a f***ing huge one similar to the one above on the wall. Being pissed I just grabbed one of its legs and showed it the door.
When I woke and remembered what I did I couldn't get the fear out of my head. I hate them and thought about it for days. Still do actually. Hate em.
 
I was once bucking a lass at hers, she was on top bucking back and suddenly she froze and let out a loud scream. It shocked me and I thought 'What the fuck, surely this is nowt to do with me?'. She then shouted "SPIDER!!!" and jumped off fast as fuck. I turned my head quickly, still in full stott on and look at the wall behind my head.
The biggest House Spider that I had ever seen was just a few inches above my head on the wall, I nearly shit myself and jumped up fast as fuck, heart racing!!
As this lasses naked body was shaking with fear, she shouted "I'll get the hoover and hoover it up". I shouted "No!! get me a cup and a letter, I'll get rid of it" stating to her that we cannot kill it.
She brought up a cup and as I went to put the cup over it, it's legs were sticking out like fuck!! I did not want to damage its legs, so turned to her and said slowly and calmly, "We need a bigger cup", bit like what happened in the film Jaws.
She brought up a large food container and I got rid of the massive bastard using that. Chucked it out of her bedroom window, set it free!! sadly the bonking did not resume after that, because this scary event killed the passion in us both.

It was more than twice as large as this spider below and I have never seen a House Spider as large ever since.

Logon or register to see this image

I had one like this on my bedroom wall when I was about 13. I was in bed and realised a weird dark shadow on the wall (my eyesight is shit), so I turned the light on and a spider the size of a hand was on there. Never seen one like it again.. this one went up the hoover violently though
 
I had one like this on my bedroom wall when I was about 13. I was in bed and realised a weird dark shadow on the wall (my eyesight is shit), so I turned the light on and a spider the size of a hand was on there. Never seen one like it again.. this one went up the hoover violently though
I've gave you a like, but not for the hoover bit. ;)
Sounds like you have the plot of your film sorted there... what’s the title?

Web of Love - starring Steve Guttenberg
:lol:
 
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