Break up of a relationship/marriage



About 7 years ago my missus of 17 years announced one morning that we were splitting up and she was pregnant with twins. (not mine, don’t ask) She moved out with my 5 year old boy and I was crushed. Signs were there but I ignored them. After a year of depression, booze and boxsets I made the conscious decision to get back out there. Joined a couple of sites, had some amazing sex and a few longer term relationships but all of them ended as I knew at that point, with an older, wiser head, what I was looking for in a relationship and a person. Great times though- out mid week having a laugh, waking up miles from home in some lasses bed, getting a taxi back , getting changed for work and then doing it all again the next night or a couple of days later. You forget how good it is to be free. Then you meet the one. I was my wife’s first date on match.com 6 years ago and for me, I knew after about 30 minutes I wanted to spend my life with her. 6 years later, happily married and moving to France for good next year as she wants to return home due to all the Brexit shit. Enjoy the freedom but when you find him/her hold on tight and try to learn the lessons from your past. Good luck mate - a little bit jealous but happier now than I’ve ever been.
 
It must take a massive adjustment if the marriage lasted for a long time. I wouldn't know where to start especially with online dating.

17 years for me and I'd never lived on my own having moved straight into the marital home from my parents house. It was a very difficult time as the blame for the break up was entirely mine and living with the consequences was hard when you have time to think. It does change though and I'm happier now than I've ever been.
 
About 7 years ago my missus of 17 years announced one morning that we were splitting up and she was pregnant with twins. (not mine, don’t ask) She moved out with my 5 year old boy and I was crushed. Signs were there but I ignored them. After a year of depression, booze and boxsets I made the conscious decision to get back out there. Joined a couple of sites, had some amazing sex and a few longer term relationships but all of them ended as I knew at that point, with an older, wiser head, what I was looking for in a relationship and a person. Great times though- out mid week having a laugh, waking up miles from home in some lasses bed, getting a taxi back , getting changed for work and then doing it all again the next night or a couple of days later. You forget how good it is to be free. Then you meet the one. I was my wife’s first date on match.com 6 years ago and for me, I knew after about 30 minutes I wanted to spend my life with her. 6 years later, happily married and moving to France for good next year as she wants to return home due to all the Brexit shit. Enjoy the freedom but when you find him/her hold on tight and try to learn the lessons from your past. Good luck mate - a little bit jealous but happier now than I’ve ever been.
After her doing the tinder rounds for a few years.
 
I was with one for 18mths, nearly destroyed me. Ended up being a completely different person to who I am. Ditched some very good friends who have been integral in my recovery, can’t thank them enough. Best thing I did was go to therapy though, initially for a reality check to make sure I wasn’t making up what I was experiencing (like narcissist have you believe). Ended up doing a load of work to avoid being with a narcissist again. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who has been in that horrible soul destroying situation

This sounds horrible but it's nice seeing that it's happened to other people :lol:. For a long time I hated myself for not realising and letting it happen but I've learned to accept that it wasn't my fault. I'd like to think it doesn't bother me now, but I still get a sicky feeling when I see a car that might be hers.
 

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