Jimmer13
Midfield
Has anyone every felt like this......I was thinking last night about the last few years and when I was happier and when I was unhappier. Strangely enough, I think I was more happy when I didn't really tell anyone about it, kept it to myself, came up with a way of dealing it, the odd lie to friends etc. Since I have been open, after the initial relief I feel worse the last 12 months, like I am far too aware of how I feel and the bits that are wrong in my life, I think a lot of trivial stuff, or work stuff I could almost just kid myself that it was OK, and that got me by. No its like I am more aware of all my faults or whatever.
I am not sure if anyone has ever felt like this, its an unusual thought, just not sure how much talking about it has actually helped me. Not to say for 1 second people shouldn't, they obviously should its proven, but I am not 100% it worked for me.
Every one deals with things differently, what works for some may not work with others. The problem trying to analyse yourself is it does not work. You just try and find what works for you.
Your are to close to the situation and have a blinkered view, like we all do of ourselves. When dealing with it yourself, you are quite insular, but fail-safe mechanisms, e.g. how your dealing with issues can collapse without warning.
Your thoughts are not unique, everyone with issues tries to analyse themselves. It took me over four years of keeping everything locked up in my head, before I admitted that I had a problem and was getting worse after nearly suffering a meltdown. Kept trying to snap myself out of it.
Thought I had been cured, after treatment for PTSD some years ago, but can come back and bite your bum. Know exactly what the trigger was and when, but no idea of the why.
Either failed to see the signs, or ignored them, at some point in time you have to get the illness treated and need expert assistance for that. If I could have carried on dealing with it, then I probably would have.
But my head went tilt and said hang on had enough here. Medication has stopped me slipping over the edge as I was approaching burnout with not many options left.
Now on medication which has stabilised my mood swings and waiting to start a treatment course, when a place is available. More people need help than there are places oddly enough!
Just keep on one day at a time, working for me and I hope everyone stays safe. It calms me writing this and quite therapeutic, please accept my apologies for a bit of a rambling post.
Any poster who comes on here to do "banter" does not understand the thread. It has been a place where I can write my feelings when I am good or not so good. The people who support you on here are great. Idiots can just move on...
You are not alone and we are all here to help everyone.
Agreed.
Currently wondering what the fcuk am I doing still here. For every positive there is a negative and for every negative there is another negative. Some days I find it almost impossible to get out of bed and other days I can't get out at all.
I was the same at one point and forced myself to get out and do stuff, now I do stuff because I find it keeps the black dog from biting my arse.
We have all been there fella, fight the bugger and do not let it win
Whether you're a fruitcake or a loony outside the Depression thread (and let's face it, we're all at least one of those some of the time), everyone is welcome to share and help in here. We're a decent set of nutters, really.
Troubled souls on a stormy sea without the aid of a life preserver, but in hope of assistance from like minded kindred souls.
Quite a few of us in stormy waters, no surprise to be a product of a broken society for many different reasons.
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