Strange things you've seen people do in public...



Saw a bloke try and piss between cartridges on the London Underground with the door wide open. The draft just splashed the piss all over himself. It was 6:30am, serves him right the scruffy twat.

Also a fat woman taking a dump in a bush behind a bench at Osterley station in broad daylight. I guess she thought the eastbound platform was empty and the next train wasn’t for 6 mins or so.... except my train pulled in the westbound platform and a dozen or so of us caught a long look at her squatting and the actual moment a turd fell out. Lots of tutting and giggling.
FFS ..... the dorty hewer! We use Osterley station to park up and train it into London whenever we go there, will have to be careful which seat we sit at now.
 
Spice.

Having seen some of the bodies littering streets, it's quite alarming that people would want to to this.
Or bad that people would want to give someone something that would render them basically dead
 
Owld fella lying across the benches in that big old bus shelter down Seaburn casually thumbing thro a copy of Razzle about 10am one Sunday morning when I was out walking the dog. Made me chuckle.
Back when I used to get the train to work, there was once a bloke with the 4 seats around a table to himself , casually flicking through a porn mag as if it was a newspaper.
 
Last edited:
On a stag night in Shields a few years ago, the "stag" was dying for a shit in between pubs. We were telling him to stop being so daft and wait until the next pub but he said he was desperate. He nipped down a back lane, dropped his kegs and got onto his haunches. He was couched down in mid-curl when the double doors to the bingo suddenly burst open and all the old biddies spilled out into the lane around him.

Another time me and a mate were standing over the road from Chambers one Sunday night having just been in said establishment. The queue to get in was huge and the bouncers were making those queuing wait ages. One young lass at the front of the queue was screaming at the bouncer to let her in as she was dying for a piss. He told her to wait her turn but she said she couldn't. She got on her haunches at his feet, hoisted her kilt and pulled her knickers to one side and started having this huge, huge piss which seemed to last for ages. She looked like a lovely little garden water feature.
 
On a stag night in Shields a few years ago, the "stag" was dying for a shit in between pubs. We were telling him to stop being so daft and wait until the next pub but he said he was desperate. He nipped down a back lane, dropped his kegs and got onto his haunches. He was couched down in mid-curl when the double doors to the bingo suddenly burst open and all the old biddies spilled out into the lane around him.

Another time me and a mate were standing over the road from Chambers one Sunday night having just been in said establishment. The queue to get in was huge and the bouncers were making those queuing wait ages. One young lass at the front of the queue was screaming at the bouncer to let her in as she was dying for a piss. He told her to wait her turn but she said she couldn't. She got on her haunches at his feet, hoisted her kilt and pulled her knickers to one side and started having this huge, huge piss which seemed to last for ages. She looked like a lovely little garden water feature.
That has to be the bingo in the Denmark Centre? If so, I know exactly where your mate will have been :lol:
 
On a stag night in Shields a few years ago, the "stag" was dying for a shit in between pubs. We were telling him to stop being so daft and wait until the next pub but he said he was desperate. He nipped down a back lane, dropped his kegs and got onto his haunches. He was couched down in mid-curl when the double doors to the bingo suddenly burst open and all the old biddies spilled out into the lane around him.

Another time me and a mate were standing over the road from Chambers one Sunday night having just been in said establishment. The queue to get in was huge and the bouncers were making those queuing wait ages. One young lass at the front of the queue was screaming at the bouncer to let her in as she was dying for a piss. He told her to wait her turn but she said she couldn't. She got on her haunches at his feet, hoisted her kilt and pulled her knickers to one side and started having this huge, huge piss which seemed to last for ages. She looked like a lovely little garden water feature.
Class.:lol:

Reminds me of years ago when I was a delivery driver for a while. On a dark night I was absolutely busting for a piss, forehead starting sweating the lot.
Pulled up to the house I was delivering at, saw it was pitch black in the lane at it's side, so grabbed the parcel and bolted for the wall at the side. As soon as I started pissing and feeling huge relief, a bus pulls up and about 8 people piled off about 10ft away from me to walk down the lane. A couple appeared on the opposite side and wall light was triggered and lit up the lane. I just stood facing the wall, terrified to turn around.
When they all walked past me, I turned and saw the couple going into the house I was delivering to. Fuck were they getting their parcel that day, straight back to the van and away as quick as possible.:)
 
I tell you what you've seen nothing until you move to a place like owa here.

Here's two from the last four days alone:

1) A bloke in the border town to Gibraltar, La Linea, doing spirit bottle tricks (like Mateo used to attempt on Benidorm about ten year back). He was behind a set of trees near passport control with no-one else around him - around 11:30 last Thursday/Friday? He was f***ing good at it as well mind.

2) Walking home from work yesterday along Winston Churchill Avenue which is the road across the runway past Victoria Stadium. Some old fella with a push bike next to him had stopped next to a set of shrubs in the street and was meticulously measuring the width of the leaves - no idea there was hundreds of people walking past him heading home from work.

I'll update on any more findings.
Please don’t!
 
During the night on a crossing on a main shopping street someone had somehow managed to curl out a huge walnut whip turn right on top of a tall bollard where people waited to cross. They must have been so tall or assisted to deposit it that high :lol: Was causing some constination to people waiting to cross the road
:lol:
If that was Tunstall Road it was a mate of mine. Yes, he is statuesque. :lol:
 
Saw a lad pull down his strides outside The Reliance on Old St in Hoxton and spray a molten shit all over the wall and pavement.

A group of lasses walking past saw him do it, screamed and started running away. The lad was so confused he started running with them thinking they were all being chased. :lol:
:lol::lol:
 
Once sat in Costa in Aberdeen train station waiting by myself and bored out of my tits. It was pretty quiet and a woman sits a few tables away. A little bit later I just happened to look up exactly at the same time she did a comedy left/right check and sneaked the cup and saucer into her bag. Just as she thought she’d got away with it she saw me looking, called me a feckin arsehole, got up and left. :lol:
 
Once sat in Costa in Aberdeen train station waiting by myself and bored out of my tits. It was pretty quiet and a woman sits a few tables away. A little bit later I just happened to look up exactly at the same time she did a comedy left/right check and sneaked the cup and saucer into her bag. Just as she thought she’d got away with it she saw me looking, called me a feckin arsehole, got up and left. :lol:

Classic offence is the best defence manoeuvre.

I’d have stood up and shouted thief.
 

Back
Top