People with degrees that are a bit thick really



I grew up with a lad who is now a professor. He's thick as pig shit when it comes to everyday life.
Spent 20m in a traffic jam before he realised he'd pulled up behind parked cars.

I've done that. Just the once, and for about a minute.

May I add the editorial team at the BBC who have just informed the nation that Titanic sank in the North Atlantic Sea. I believe it should be Ocean, but there again it’s a long time since I went to school!

Americans always seem to refer to the sea as the ocean. Let's go for a swim in the ocean just doesn't sound right to a Brit. Maybe the Yanks do it because their continent on both sides is bounded by seas that are oceans.
 
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I've done that. Just the once, and for about a minute.



Americans always seem to refer to the sea as the ocean. Let's go for a swim in the ocean just doesn't sound right to a Brit. Maybe the Yanks do it because their continent on both sides is bounded by seas that are oceans.
You're bang on there Scim.

In fact I would be fairly confident that if the North Sea was in fact called the North Custard then we would all be saying we were going for a swim in the custard.
 
I've done that. Just the once, and for about a minute.



Americans always seem to refer to the sea as the ocean. Let's go for a swim in the ocean just doesn't sound right to a Brit. Maybe the Yanks do it because their continent on both sides is bounded by seas that are oceans.

I think that you have missed the point. It was the BBC calling the Atlantic Ocean the Atlantic Sea. It is not, and never has been called the Atlantic Sea. It’s an Ocean.


Contrary to what the video claims, the Mediterranean is not the largest sea. That honour belongs to the Philippine Sea, a part of the North Pacific Ocean.
 
The North Sea forms part of the Atlantic Ocean so really you’re swimming in the Atlantic when you go swimming off the coast of Seaton Carew or wherever.

The more you know :cool:
 
Friend of mine from school got 9 As at GCSE, 3 As at A-Level and a 1st Class Degree in Biology. She is thick as mince. Used to think it was rude not to sleep with a guy if he bought her a drink :lol:

* as thick as mince

David Lammy has a degree from Harvard and Dianne Abbott went to Cambridge, and not just for a day trip either. Proof if it was ever needed that anyone can obtain a degree

Not from Harvard or Cambridge. Abbott is a woeful politician but you cannot be thick and gain a place at Cambridge.
 
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Just offererd to proof read a lad at work’s college assignment. He has a degree in automotive design, so should be pretty competent, I thought.

I thought wrong. I’m no English Professor but fuck me it looked like it was written by a child. Spelling, punctuation and grammar all over the shop. Different spellings of the same word (raiser/razor). Clunky sentence structure. I spent about 2 hours re-doing it for him.

What are they teaching kids these days when you can get a degree with a complete lack of English skills?

You'd be surprised how allegedly highly qualified some people can be yet not have a clue.

I've told this story before, however, it's relevant to the above in that there's work out there that should have never been passed.

Way back whilst I was working for a certain ex-Poly in a place not too far from Sunderland (no, not Lord Rowell's place at the bottom of Chester Road), my colleges and I were expected to informally supervise the projects of M.Sc. students within the Engineering department. Most were from India and had allegedly passed a minimum standard of English to be able to able to study at an English University and start the course.

Their ideas of thorough, meticulous project work was to spend their project period working full time in the local call centres around Quorum and Cobalt Business Parks. When asked how they expected to fit in their project work, they responded "Don't worry, well manage it."

Yea, right.

1) One of my colleagues reported that one student's dissertation had largely been cut and paste from the Internet. It even included a passage where the "author" had sat, enjoying views of Lake Placid in the United States. He'd never been to the United States. At least the cutting and pasting at least ensured the standard of the "American" English.

2) I attempted to read one of the dissertations submitted. The English was more like a collection of random words rather than coherent sentences. One of my colleagues instructed me not to help him correct it, something I had no intention of doing. We'd been instructed to ensure the students were to "pass" (the inference being international student's money was more important than integrity and results), however, this dissertation was so incomprehensible it had to be failed. This caused an inquest with complaints from the student and his brother, which bore out our decision to fail him. He resat the following year and passed at the second attempt.

3) I helped also with the assessment of project oral presentations. As it happens, the two students I examined did better with their poster presentations, however, I was told to mark down the presentations to the minimum pass level by a senior lecturer as in his words, it was the "most they deserved'. For once, some honesty from a senior lecturer.

4) I found myself helping out a Thai colleague (and mate) who'd been given three days to sort out the English in his PhD thesis or be failed - he was approaching his four year limit. Once again, the English at times was at times more a collection of random words rather than coherent English. After a a weekend of proofreading for him, we supplied him with the proofed document and the cleaned-up English. He reacted "You've changed the meaning!!!". He did submit and was passed "with minor corrections". He's now considered a leading specialist back in Thailand in the field of renewable energy and wind turbine design.

Whilst he was a likeable lad, even our proof-reading was short of a pass without major correction. But then again, he was an international student. I suspect possibly his supervisor rewrote large sections of the thesis for him to ensure he'd pass, something I as a home grown student could not expect.

---------------

On the flip side of the coin, there were two really hard working, diligent Nigerian lads who passed the same M.Sc. with flying colours. We were informally spotting potential future Ph.D. students and recommended the two Nigerians to be considered due to their work ethic. Excellent presentation skills, little to no problems with their English and well capable of conducting original research with minimal supervision. However, both lads wanted to go back home to take up jobs in Nigeria.

Who went forward to take up Ph.D.s? Two of the Indian students who struggled to pass, including the one we had to fail.

FFS...

Did I mention these students were expected to have a minimum standard of English to be allowed to study in an English University?

Maybe I’m being a bit critical as I write technical reports for a living and i know the kind of phrases that are used. But when you read things like “ Three samples was tested and here is what I saw” :lol:

He wrote in the first person as well as appalling use of the word "was"? I've always been told never to write a technical report in the first person.

Lass at work apparently has a degree, I think she’s just a lying smelly twat. As she’s not ower clever and has bo.

When a student or recent graduate come on The Chase, you just know they're going to be among the worst performers. That includes even some teachers.

There is a lot to be said at times in favour of the school of life.

Who uses the first person anymore?

I certainly don’t.

It's never been considered right to write reports, dissertations, theses or other top level document in the first person.

I've only ever come across one person at a higher level who asked why I never wrote in the first person.

You only use the first person in stories and novels.

I’d have said no thanks.

I'd let him away with that one. How many times have you accessed this place via your mobile phone and predictive text has stepped in to correct you? How many times have you cocked up with the odd word typing a hurried message on here.

Asking someone who makes such mistakes to correct something like that is a never-ending task. When I was teaching I would sit down and explain certain rules to the kids and it just doesn't go in for some of them.

Fair comment. Our two most common verbs, "to have" and "two be", are highly irregular.

If a kid asks "Why do we say 'I was' and 'We were' when we can just use one word?", how do you really answer the question?

Because that is the accepted usage of standard English?

"Why?"

Because that is the way the English language has developed.

"Why?"

If the "Why?" question keeps being repeated, there is no ultimate answer even for the more knowledgeable linguists.

He also says “if I’m being brutally honest” at least once in every phone conversation. Which gets right on my tits.

I've been told my repeated use of "actually", "basically" and "to be honest" are annoying. I even got cautioned about the use of "to be honest" after an agency interview, in that my use of it made me seem "dishonest".

He sounds like a lost cause.

One thing I have recently discussed with my missus (no) is that some people may be naturals in academia, but are not suited to applying this in the real world. There were two such lecturers on my degree. Very clever, but no common sense or ability to apply the theory practically.

I believe the same can be said for some who don't take pride in their use of English.

I've jumped between academia and the real world. "Urgent" in academia is sort of in the next three weeks. In the real world, urgent can mean within the half hour. Switching your mindset between the two can take some doing and some people can't manage it.

On moving back into a University environment, I just wanted to crack on with the work being told I had a sizeable project in front of me and ended up producing twice as much data as I needed to. It actually proved to be a hindrance towards the end as I could not report all the data without confusing what I had to report, though the surplus data ended up being reported in extra papers.

Switching back the real world again saw me having to adjust back to focusing on the immediate issue, collecting only the data needed to answer a customer or supplier query and no more.
 
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My degree is in maths, my grammar, spelling and punctuation are appalling, I do not care
You see, this worries me. What you’re saying is that you can read a book or technical document with everything done properly, then completely disregard that and write any old shite you feel. You’re not learning from what you’re reading. Which would raise question marks about your ability to learn and adapt, to me. You might be great at maths but your big maths brain can’t bother iteslf to learn things that would make your written work better?

This reminds me of my ex. She would write the names of famous people/things and spell them wrong. When I questioned her she said she didn’t know how it was spelled. I pointed out that she must have read the names a million times, so how did she not know the correct spelling? She said she “just read them” but didn’t take an notice of the spelling. I find that utterly bizzare.
 
You see, this worries me. What you’re saying is that you can read a book or technical document with everything done properly, then completely disregard that and write any old shite you feel. You’re not learning from what you’re reading. Which would raise question marks about your ability to learn and adapt, to me. You might be great at maths but your big maths brain can’t bother iteslf to learn things that would make your written work better?

This reminds me of my ex. She would write the names of famous people/things and spell them wrong. When I questioned her she said she didn’t know how it was spelled. I pointed out that she must have read the names a million times, so how did she not know the correct spelling? She said she “just read them” but didn’t take an notice of the spelling. I find that utterly bizzare.

Dave, in the table of things that people find bizzare (sic) about other peoples thinking, your name would be very near to the top
 
My MBA was a total waste of money on me, fortunately it wasn't mine.
My boss had funds for 2 out 3 of us and I was 53yo and the money should have been spent on the other bloke.
18 months after graduation I was made redundant by the boss who had sent me on the Masters.
 
You see, this worries me. What you’re saying is that you can read a book or technical document with everything done properly, then completely disregard that and write any old shite you feel. You’re not learning from what you’re reading. Which would raise question marks about your ability to learn and adapt, to me. You might be great at maths but your big maths brain can’t bother iteslf to learn things that would make your written work better?

This reminds me of my ex. She would write the names of famous people/things and spell them wrong. When I questioned her she said she didn’t know how it was spelled. I pointed out that she must have read the names a million times, so how did she not know the correct spelling? She said she “just read them” but didn’t take an notice of the spelling. I find that utterly bizzare.

If I'm not sure how to spell a word, I admit I use the phonetics of the word to work out it's spelling. I get it right more often than not, but the results can be amusing when i get it wrong. :)
 

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