Pun jokes

[fyl2u]

Heard a couple of 'good' ones the past week:

• Just joined a band called 999 Megabytes. It's going well but we haven't got a gig yet.
• Haven't been well the past two days. Felt like a wigwam yesterday and a tipi today. Doctor reckons I'm two tents.

Anyone got any corkers out there?

https://somethinggeeky.com/programming-t-shirts/1023megabytestshirt

1023 Megabytes, man.

 

[Royston Vasey]

Heard a couple of 'good' ones the past week:

• Just joined a band called 999 Megabytes. It's going well but we haven't got a gig yet.
• Haven't been well the past two days. Felt like a wigwam yesterday and a tipi today. Doctor reckons I'm two tents.

Anyone got any corkers out there?

If someone hasn't already pointed it out there are 1024 megabytes in a gigabyte so the "joke" is on you...

Edit....oh someone has...

 

[safcforever]

Bumming makes you deaf!

What???

 

[MackemBob]

What???

Leave it, Geoff.

 

[Dendinho]

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

 

[Tongey]

Can't beat Stuart Francis at pun jokes IMO

I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

 

[ihatethemags]

How does a monkey cook his toast?
Under the Gorilla

 

[MackemBob]

WHAT ?

Leave it, Geoff.

 

[No7]

What do you call a Newcastle kangaroo stuck in a lift?

Kangaroot

What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a large marsupial, the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift

Ya amateur

 

[mux]

What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a large marsupial, the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift

Ya amateur

Aye that's the one

 

[Scimmy]

In case anybody missed it @Space Hopper cracked a corker yesterday which was basically this. I claim no credit.

What do you call a LBGTQ whale?

Maybe Dick.

 

[JAZZMANB]

Band I play in did a gig on Saturday in aid of the premature ejaculation society. There was no one there as they all came on Friday.

I'm doing a charity gig on friday for men who struggle to ejaculate
Its okay if you can't come

Can't beat Stuart Francis at pun jokes IMO

I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

i had mixed race parents one was the 100 metres the other Pakistani

 

[ywcmackem]

Can't beat Stuart Francis at pun jokes IMO

I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

when I was little my parents used to beat me with telephone. I was always on the receiving end.

 

[muggboots]

Heard a couple of 'good' ones the past week:

• Just joined a band called 999 Megabytes. It's going well but we haven't got a gig yet.
• Haven't been well the past two days. Felt like a wigwam yesterday and a tipi today. Doctor reckons I'm two tents.

Anyone got any corkers out there?

Where's these 2 funny ones then?

 

[danielsan]

Menstruation jokes aren’t funny. Period

 

[Keawyeds]

Leave it, Geoff.

He's dead, Susan

 

[tunstall birdman]

Menstruation jokes aren’t funny. Period

I once was in a group sex session with loads women who threw me into the Tampax bin. They wanted to rag me all over.

 

[Billy Rocket]

Most physicists find dark energy repulsive.

 

[Mick Dundee]

Did you know that you can tell the sex of an ant by putting it in a cup of water? If it sinks it’s a girl ant, if it floats it’s buoyant.

 

[Keawyeds]

Most physicists find dark energy repulsive.

Physics gives me a Hadron