Things bairns say......

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becs

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Just cracked up laughing as my daughter randomly said:

Mam, if you played for Barcelona, we could call you Mumtiti

:eek::lol::lol:

Anyone else got any funny ones?
 


Yes it f***ing does. :lol:

Okay, 90% on here prob know it but for those that don't... :lol:

A lass I used to work with, her brother was on a bus in town one day with his lad who was about 3 at the time.

This black couple get on with their bairn in a pram and the bairn is sqwaling.

The lad turns to his Da and says innocently "Daddy, why won't that monkey stop crying?"

Everyone on the bus turns and looks. The Da just grabs his bairn and rings the bell to get off. Neewhere near his intended destination.
 
My bairn has came out with a few over the years.

Top of my head was him telling the nursery nurse "I drink juice, Daddy drinks coffee, Mummy drinks wine".
 
Youngest grandson, just out of the bath, pointed to the wet impression of his bum on the bedroom wall and said...."Look mummy(Cheshire), a beautiful butterfly!"
 
Okay, 90% on here prob know it but for those that don't... :lol:

A lass I used to work with, her brother was on a bus in town one day with his lad who was about 3 at the time.

This black couple get on with their bairn in a pram and the bairn is sqwaling.

The lad turns to his Da and says innocently "Daddy, why won't that monkey stop crying?"

Everyone on the bus turns and looks. The Da just grabs his bairn and rings the bell to get off. Neewhere near his intended destination.

:lol:

Not me as don't have kids myself, but my nephew was at a Nursery and said to one of the women who worked there randomly, 'my daddy has a big tail'. Poor lass couldn't look at brother the same way again :lol: never knew he learned to lie at such a young age like
 
'We have no money and I don't know what I'm doing'

Oh you said Bairn and not Bain my mistake lollllll banter
 
My little girl was on the netty in a campsite in France the other night. I was waiting outside and she was shouting out a stream of questions to check I was still there. Her question of 'Daddy, what do you prefer, having a poo or having a coffee?' was the one that finally made the Dutch woman in the next cubicle burst out laughing.
 
My little girl was on the netty in a campsite in France the other night. I was waiting outside and she was shouting out a stream of questions to check I was still there. Her question of 'Daddy, what do you prefer, having a poo or having a coffee?' was the one that finally made the Dutch woman in the next cubicle burst out laughing.

Not a bad question to be fair, poo for me.
 
Okay, 90% on here prob know it but for those that don't... :lol:

A lass I used to work with, her brother was on a bus in town one day with his lad who was about 3 at the time.

This black couple get on with their bairn in a pram and the bairn is sqwaling.

The lad turns to his Da and says innocently "Daddy, why won't that monkey stop crying?"

Everyone on the bus turns and looks. The Da just grabs his bairn and rings the bell to get off. Neewhere near his intended destination.

:lol:
 
My little girl was on the netty in a campsite in France the other night. I was waiting outside and she was shouting out a stream of questions to check I was still there. Her question of 'Daddy, what do you prefer, having a poo or having a coffee?' was the one that finally made the Dutch woman in the next cubicle burst out laughing.
:lol: Class.
Having 2 boys myself, public toilets are always areas of extreme hilarity. My little one's favourite is laughing uncontrollably if someone lets rip in the next cubicle. Must be a bit embarrassing for the poor occupant.

Not a bad question to be fair, poo for me.
It's an unusual variation of daddy or chips in any case
 
Reminds me of a long time ago, when number one son was on a bus when he was little. The only other people on were two older ladies who perhaps weren't in the best overall shape. They're chatting away about their arthritis and other ailments and number one son keeps looking at them. Then in a lull in the conversation he pipes up, loud enough for everyone to hear: "Dad, I thought only men are supposed to have a moustache..."
 
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