I have something to do which I am at a loss to prepare for.

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In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

God, I'm filling up typing this.
Nothing can prepare you mate. Just reminisce about the good times and remember death comes to us all. Just let your words spill out naturally and say what you have to.
I wish you all the strength in the world
 
I have absolutely nothing to add to this thread about what to do as I have never been in a situation like that and wouldn't know what to do if I was. But best of luck, take it easy on yourself and be nice to yourself about it - it could bring up a load of emotions and just be open with yourself about how you're feeling. It'll be ok.
 
In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

God, I'm filling up typing this.

Sorry to hear this mate, just go and visit him and be yourself ,I've got no doubt he'll know how you're feeling but I bet you both end up having a laugh about something ( this is meant in all sincerity and hope it's taken that way )
 
Some good advice on here, just be yourself. A few years back my marra had lukemia and had been through chemo, bone marrow etc etc, and I got a call from his missus asking me to go and see him ( they lived in the midlands) as he wanted to talk to me. I thought the worst so I drove down one saturday morning, dreading what was ahead. When he opened the door he looked dreadful, down to about 6 stone and no hair left. I just burst out laughing, and said 'f***ing hell, its Yoda!', totally inappropriate but I couldnt help it. It completely broke the ice, and we had a great weekend, catching up on the crack and taking the piss. He was in a bad way but I'm delighted to say he recovered, but we still talk about that day, and, as someone else said on here, he just wanted a bit lads crack. I hope it goes ok for you marra, just be the mate that he's asked for.
 
Thanks for all the good advice people. Unfortunately I'm not going to have the chance to use it. I was planning to go and see my pal this afternoon, but got a call from his wife half an hour agoto tell me that he took bad yesterday and passed away quickly. I said what everyone says in situations like this, "II'm so sorry blah blah.....it's a good thing he was spared too much suffering blah blah blah". His now widow told me she is in shock and will be in touch about the funeral.

I'm so glad for him that he got a quick getaway, but there's a horrible selfish shrivelled part of me that is relieved that I have been spared the distressing last conversation with my mate. I'll remember him as I knew him.
 
Thanks for all the good advice people. Unfortunately I'm not going to have the chance to use it. I was planning to go and see my pal this afternoon, but got a call from his wife half an hour agoto tell me that he took bad yesterday and passed away quickly. I said what everyone says in situations like this, "II'm so sorry blah blah.....it's a good thing he was spared too much suffering blah blah blah". His now widow told me she is in shock and will be in touch about the funeral.

I'm so glad for him that he got a quick getaway, but there's a horrible selfish shrivelled part of me that is relieved that I have been spared the distressing last conversation with my mate. I'll remember him as I knew him.

Bloody hell sorry to hear that.
 
Thanks for all the good advice people. Unfortunately I'm not going to have the chance to use it. I was planning to go and see my pal this afternoon, but got a call from his wife half an hour agoto tell me that he took bad yesterday and passed away quickly. I said what everyone says in situations like this, "II'm so sorry blah blah.....it's a good thing he was spared too much suffering blah blah blah". His now widow told me she is in shock and will be in touch about the funeral.

I'm so glad for him that he got a quick getaway, but there's a horrible selfish shrivelled part of me that is relieved that I have been spared the distressing last conversation with my mate. I'll remember him as I knew him.

Mate, I'm so sorry.
 
Thanks for all the good advice people. Unfortunately I'm not going to have the chance to use it. I was planning to go and see my pal this afternoon, but got a call from his wife half an hour agoto tell me that he took bad yesterday and passed away quickly. I said what everyone says in situations like this, "II'm so sorry blah blah.....it's a good thing he was spared too much suffering blah blah blah". His now widow told me she is in shock and will be in touch about the funeral.

I'm so glad for him that he got a quick getaway, but there's a horrible selfish shrivelled part of me that is relieved that I have been spared the distressing last conversation with my mate. I'll remember him as I knew him.

Much love marra
 
A bit harsh? I think that @dom was implying that it's difficult to offer advice when a lot of people haven't had to deal with this situation. Sometimes things can be easily misconstrued on here but I've found him to be a sound bloke.

Personally in this scenario I'd break the ice by talking about sexual conquests as 20 year olds, with the usual gross exaggerations. While his Mrs is out shopping of course.

Edit: so sorry to hear about the OP's friend.

....

I'm so glad for him that he got a quick getaway, but there's a horrible selfish shrivelled part of me that is relieved that I have been spared the distressing last conversation with my mate. I'll remember him as I knew him.

You have my condolences. One of my mates passed away 2 weeks ago. I'm feeling bad that I won't be able to attend his funeral. Instead I'll take a card to his kids and wife but I'm still thinking of the right words. So far all I have to offer are daft anecdotes going back to when we were at infants school, or from crazy Med holidays.
 
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Thanks for all the good advice people. Unfortunately I'm not going to have the chance to use it. I was planning to go and see my pal this afternoon, but got a call from his wife half an hour agoto tell me that he took bad yesterday and passed away quickly. I said what everyone says in situations like this, "II'm so sorry blah blah.....it's a good thing he was spared too much suffering blah blah blah". His now widow told me she is in shock and will be in touch about the funeral.

I'm so glad for him that he got a quick getaway, but there's a horrible selfish shrivelled part of me that is relieved that I have been spared the distressing last conversation with my mate. I'll remember him as I knew him.
Sorry to hear that.
 
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