Depression

[T_Bone]

thanks mate, I'm determined not to let the bugger ruin my life, i'm a very optimistic depressive sadly that's what makes it hard when it does hit but I'm a stubborn sod & it's a fight.... i might lose the occasional battle but I'll be damned if I lose the war!!



you're right, sometimes i see it like those daft cartoons when you have the devil on one shoulder & the angel on the other.... except you only have the devil, feeding every little paranoia or anxiety you have... telling you that every self doubt you might have is true etc.

That brings it back to me. I would often be alone in the house and my mind would play games with me. I would believe there was a gremlin floating above me and if I moved from the chair something bad would happen to me.
I sometimes sat there for hours on end being too scared to move. !
I then went through a charade when the kids got home from school, hoping they'd think I was normal, but if I am honest, they've seen things kids shouldn't see their dads do.
One of the worst things was waking up in the morning. You realised your nightmare was about to begin again.
But I must stress that I beat it. I went from a state of mind that told me all was lost to a light being switched on which told me not to let it win.
I am a more fragile person since it happened eg I can get pretty upset, emotional over small things and don't handle things the way I used to but I am just grateful that it didn't beat me.

 

[YorkMackem]

That brings it back to me. I would often be alone in the house and my mind would play games with me. I would believe there was a gremlin floating above me and if I moved from the chair something bad would happen to me.
I sometimes sat there for hours on end being too scared to move. !
I then went through a charade when the kids got home from school, hoping they'd think I was normal, but if I am honest, they've seen things kids shouldn't see their dads do.
One of the worst things was waking up in the morning. You realised your nightmare was about to begin again.
But I must stress that I beat it. I went from a state of mind that told me all was lost to a light being switched on which told me not to let it win.
I am a more fragile person since it happened eg I can get pretty upset, emotional over small things and don't handle things the way I used to but I am just grateful that it didn't beat me.

'kin hell it sounds grim. Well done for pushing through it.

 

[joemcdokes]

That brings it back to me. I would often be alone in the house and my mind would play games with me. I would believe there was a gremlin floating above me and if I moved from the chair something bad would happen to me.
I sometimes sat there for hours on end being too scared to move. !
I then went through a charade when the kids got home from school, hoping they'd think I was normal, but if I am honest, they've seen things kids shouldn't see their dads do.
One of the worst things was waking up in the morning. You realised your nightmare was about to begin again.
But I must stress that I beat it. I went from a state of mind that told me all was lost to a light being switched on which told me not to let it win.
I am a more fragile person since it happened eg I can get pretty upset, emotional over small things and don't handle things the way I used to but I am just grateful that it didn't beat me.

Is that not more on the verge of insanity rather than depression..?

 

[T_Bone]

Is that not more on the verge of insanity rather than depression..?

Not according to the experts. They told me I was clinically depressed.
Tbh I felt I was going that way.

 

[mackem_jo2]

Is that not more on the verge of insanity rather than depression..?

no, it sounds more like a serious anxiety episode, and sometimes the anxiety side of depression/mental health is the hardest to cope with. The physical symptoms that go along with panic attacks etc are horrible & can be incredibly debilitating.

 

[BeadyEye]

That brings it back to me. I would often be alone in the house and my mind would play games with me. I would believe there was a gremlin floating above me and if I moved from the chair something bad would happen to me.
I sometimes sat there for hours on end being too scared to move. !
I then went through a charade when the kids got home from school, hoping they'd think I was normal, but if I am honest, they've seen things kids shouldn't see their dads do.
One of the worst things was waking up in the morning. You realised your nightmare was about to begin again.
But I must stress that I beat it. I went from a state of mind that told me all was lost to a light being switched on which told me not to let it win.
I am a more fragile person since it happened eg I can get pretty upset, emotional over small things and don't handle things the way I used to but I am just grateful that it didn't beat me.

very sad to read.
But great things worked out

 

[joemcdokes]

no, it sounds more like a serious anxiety episode, and sometimes the anxiety side of depression/mental health is the hardest to cope with. The physical symptoms that go along with panic attacks etc are horrible & can be incredibly debilitating.

I know someone who has panic attacks but the scared to move from a seat incase something gets you when you are alone, fecking hell.

 

[T_Bone]

I know someone who has panic attacks but the scared to move from a seat incase something gets you when you are alone, fecking hell.

I know where you're coming from but I'm not an expert, I just think your mind can only take so much and I believe depression can stretch the mind to beyond your limits, it can lead folk to take their own lives.
I understand the comment about anxiety attacks too cos I've been there.
If I was verging on the insane I firmly believe it was because of depression.
A bad time of my life and I sincerely hope it doesn't return or that anyone on here has to suffer it.

 

[matt228]

I don't know what's going on with my generation but a significant amount of people I know have some mental health disorder or another. My last girlfriend has paranoid schizophrenia, her sister (a very close friend of mine) has depression and anxiety, my closest friend has anxiety, other people close to me have bipolar disorder, "unipolar" depression...the list is endless and it's only getting worse.

My mother was signed off work last year for a few months with depression, my sister certainly has issues that a counsellor might help her with and I have recently suffered bouts of intense misery that I'm refusing to call depression for fear of talking it up too much. Sometimes it's just hard to "snap out of it", eh?

 

[pragmatic optimism]

Not sure if this is the best time to start a thread like this but it's something that needs to be asked. In the last two years I've had 3 mates 'give up the fight' against this (must be my shite patter), and in each case i never knew they were suffering from it.
What i want/need to know is, if i did know what could i do to help them, and what signs should i look out for to realise my mates may have depression?
Each time I've been left wondering..'If only I'd known..' but then start thinking 'even if I'd known, what could i do..?'
I'm sure there are websites out there explaining it but there's nothing better than advice from someone with personal experience
Mods, if you think this thread is 'too soon' please delete it, I'll understand

Not had it myself but ive had close friends/relatives with it......Its horrible watching them shrink into a shell of dispair and at times words have no affect on them. The best thing to do is to seek professional medical help as soon as possible. :-( and always look for the positive to every situation, remember we're (if lucky) only on the earth a fleeting moment so make every second a good one, Best wishes

 

[SaFc-John]

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 13 months ago now and can honestly say its horrible. I had kept it to myself for a while before that until something as simple as a co-worker saying "alright" just caused me to breakdown there and then. It took me several months to even be able to talk to close family and go outside the house, luckily ive had a fantastic support network of family and friends who have been really patient with me and helped me through the worst of it with the help counselling and tablets which i may never be able come off. The Swansea game is going to be another massive step towards my recovery as its the 1st time i will have managed to go to the football since the depression as i was too anxious about the amount of people around me, im already nervous about going but hopefully i will get through it and will be another step in the right direction.

 

[pragmatic optimism]

Not sure if this is the best time to start a thread like this but it's something that needs to be asked. In the last two years I've had 3 mates 'give up the fight' against this (must be my shite patter), and in each case i never knew they were suffering from it.
What i want/need to know is, if i did know what could i do to help them, and what signs should i look out for to realise my mates may have depression?Each time I've been left wondering..'If only I'd known..' but then start thinking 'even if I'd known, what could i do..?'
I'm sure there are websites out there explaining it but there's nothing better than advice from someone with personal experience
Mods, if you think this thread is 'too soon' please delete it, I'll understand

In answer to your question.....it can be really difficult to spot unless youre really close to the person...... As they tend to hide it most of the time so you might need to see them around the clock.

But symptoms can be.... normally outgoing personalities becoming introverted. Maybe if they stay in the house for long periods.......difficulty wanting to leave the home, go to the shops or anything. Becoming detached from friends or family for long intervals. And the thought of it can introduce Panic attacks, anxiety and fear.

Sadly its a stigmatized illness and its seen as a sign of weakness, probably why most men bottle it up and mask it.....until the ultimate act of suicide.

All I can say is at the first signs of depression, Seek medical advice, and if necessary frogmarch them to the GP, its for their best interest

Hope this helps

 

[BishopQuaker]

All I can say is at the first signs of depression, Seek medical advice, and if necessary frogmarch them to the GP, its for their best interest

Most definitely This.

 

[Bad_mother]

not read the entire thread yet and will post again when I do, but a poster on another board summed it up quite well recently

SO IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND DEPRESSION, HERES SOMETHINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

Depression is not sadness.
One of the biggest misunderstandings about depression is that its like being really sad. It's not. It's like being *nothing*. Not sad, not happy, nothing. No joy, no sorrow. Flat line. Sure it can be triggered, exacerbated or deepened by bad, sad news... But the feeling is not one of sadness, it's more a flat feeling of inertia.
To give you an idea, there was a day, not years ago, I got up and made myself a coffee and discovered I had no milk and thought: Why do I even bother, the world is *ed and I can't fix it and went back to bed for the rest of the day. Two days later I couldn't figure out why someone had left a cup of black coffee go cold in my kitchen...

 

[Deleted member 611]

This is a timely thread for me. I'm currently going through my worst bout of depression since 1991. This is my second really bad bout, I also suffer from mild very short term depression sporadically. The difficulty I have is that whereas that time, I spent 6 - 12 months in total gloom, even though there was no reason to (objectively speaking), this time it is all confused and mixed up with very real problems like likely redundancy, finance, other personal stuff that I dont want to go into here. So Im confused as to whether it is stress, and by sorting out a new job, etc, I can beat it, or not.

Things came to a bit of a head at the weekend when my wife made a comment about the fact that I had dropped the hoover and the contents had gone all over the place, and Im ashamed to say I absolutely lost it with her, and with our two lovely sons. No violence I should stress.

Im not really sure why I am typing this - I suppose answering the OP point about what to do, how to know, what I would say is if someone says something like 'Im not having the best of times at the moment', 'Im just a bit fed up', 'Im not in a great place at the moment' (all things Ive found myself saying recently), they may mean 'I dont really want to bother you with this, but I can barely function, Im in total despair, and I cant see a way out, please will you help me, even just by listening and showing an interest'?

Talking, and being listened to, always, always, helps.

 

[lookupandwondersomet]

the thing is though some people can suffer it and give off no signals whatsoever, you cant really intervene with some people depending on how they act when theyre depressed
the start of last year i was bad with it, i think it was pretty obvious to people but i know id never be able to take my own life, id been through it before when i was 17, and i almost lost a family member last year ( tried to hang herself ) and i know its not the answer
i guess it just depends on how the person sufferring seems when youre with them, you cant be thinkign " what if " though, at all, even though you do havbe shite patter mate i doubt thats the reason
if youre concerned about a mate id suggest spending time with them and keeping them busy so theyve got something to focus on, its worse being bored and then drinking through it, my mates are all f***ing amazing so they looked after me in shitty times and id do the same no problem though i hope i never need to

THIS all over

 

[Deleted member 5265]

This is a timely thread for me. I'm currently going through my worst bout of depression since 1991. This is my second really bad bout, I also suffer from mild very short term depression sporadically. The difficulty I have is that whereas that time, I spent 6 - 12 months in total gloom, even though there was no reason to (objectively speaking), this time it is all confused and mixed up with very real problems like likely redundancy, finance, other personal stuff that I dont want to go into here. So Im confused as to whether it is stress, and by sorting out a new job, etc, I can beat it, or not.

Things came to a bit of a head at the weekend when my wife made a comment about the fact that I had dropped the hoover and the contents had gone all over the place, and Im ashamed to say I absolutely lost it with her, and with our two lovely sons. No violence I should stress.

Im not really sure why I am typing this - I suppose answering the OP point about what to do, how to know, what I would say is if someone says something like 'Im not having the best of times at the moment', 'Im just a bit fed up', 'Im not in a great place at the moment' (all things Ive found myself saying recently), they may mean 'I dont really want to bother you with this, but I can barely function, Im in total despair, and I cant see a way out, please will you help me, even just by listening and showing an interest'?

Talking, and being listened to, always, always, helps.

God bless Lanchester, huge step you've taken by putting that up here. I really wish you all the best.

Edit: and also to everyone else who's going through anything like this now. Sorry, don't have time to wish everyone the best individually.

 

[Bad_mother]

the reason most depressives won't talk to their mates about it is that they don't want to be seen as moaning and bring their mates down as well (guilt)

from experience it's easier to talk to someone completely independent, doesn't have to be a doctor or psychologist, just someone trained to listen and to pick up on key danger areas or suicide/harm cues.

I'm another sufferer - it's hereditary.... my mum was a chronic depressive up to her death. Mine was triggered in my 20s, I got on top of it with prozac and counselling then in 2006 it flared again and I had a breakdown.

Now it's mostly under control but from time to time it comes back with a vengeance. Sometimes I can spot it and take evasive action - sometimes I just wake up and the black dog is sat on my chest.
Hard to describe - it's just like feeling nothing... absolutely nothing at all... no joy, no sadness, just numbness. Getting out of bed and making a cup of tea is a major acheivement.

Effects on people around you can be horrible too - they can't do anything right... sympathy, leaving you alone, sitting there and listening - you want none of it. It's as if you're in a bubble of your own....

 

[naughtynose]

the reason most depressives won't talk to their mates about it is that they don't want to be seen as moaning and bring their mates down as well (guilt)

from experience it's easier to talk to someone completely independent, doesn't have to be a doctor or psychologist, just someone trained to listen and to pick up on key danger areas or suicide/harm cues.

I'm another sufferer - it's hereditary.... my mum was a chronic depressive up to her death. Mine was triggered in my 20s, I got on top of it with prozac and counselling then in 2006 it flared again and I had a breakdown.

Now it's mostly under control but from time to time it comes back with a vengeance. Sometimes I can spot it and take evasive action - sometimes I just wake up and the black dog is sat on my chest.
Hard to describe - it's just like feeling nothing... absolutely nothing at all... no joy, no sadness, just numbness. Getting out of bed and making a cup of tea is a major acheivement.

Effects on people around you can be horrible too - they can't do anything right... sympathy, leaving you alone, sitting there and listening - you want none of it. It's as if you're in a bubble of your own....

Wow, sounds like me. 20's and sufferring terribly. Everything just becomes too much, I can relate to the example you give there ie the cup of tea thing.

One of my mates (same age as me, 24) had it but hes well over it so hes one of only 2 mates who know ive got it as its easy to talk to him about it

 

[Seaham_FTM]

This is a timely thread for me. I'm currently going through my worst bout of depression since 1991. This is my second really bad bout, I also suffer from mild very short term depression sporadically. The difficulty I have is that whereas that time, I spent 6 - 12 months in total gloom, even though there was no reason to (objectively speaking), this time it is all confused and mixed up with very real problems like likely redundancy, finance, other personal stuff that I dont want to go into here. So Im confused as to whether it is stress, and by sorting out a new job, etc, I can beat it, or not.

Things came to a bit of a head at the weekend when my wife made a comment about the fact that I had dropped the hoover and the contents had gone all over the place, and Im ashamed to say I absolutely lost it with her, and with our two lovely sons. No violence I should stress.

Im not really sure why I am typing this - I suppose answering the OP point about what to do, how to know, what I would say is if someone says something like 'Im not having the best of times at the moment', 'Im just a bit fed up', 'Im not in a great place at the moment' (all things Ive found myself saying recently), they may mean 'I dont really want to bother you with this, but I can barely function, Im in total despair, and I cant see a way out, please will you help me, even just by listening and showing an interest'?

Talking, and being listened to, always, always, helps.

I feel for you mate. I have never suffered with depression so I cannot understand how a father can 'absolutley lose it' with his wife and kids over a comment about dropping the contents of a hoover, but you have said you are 'ashamed' of it.

I know of people who have suffered with depression who have acted like complete bellends to loved ones and have expected them to put up with it as they have a doctors note saying they are depressed.

Remember mate. You have a family who love you.

Loving and protecting my daughter is the main reason I get up in the morning.