First things first, I like Liverpool, I like Liverpudlians…. but not these plastic types that very often get attached to a team like Liverpool. I know the argument, the one that says “Oh you’re a Man U fan, you must be from (insert southern town/city here)” but for a long time I have remonstrated that actually Liverpool have a fair amount of clingers on as well – an opinion that gathered momentum when on the M62 we saw a couple of Liverpool fans looking suspiciously confused with a printed route planner in the passengers clutches…. how we larfed! Anyway, that opinion/little ditty wasn’t supposed to go on for so long so I’ll repeat myself to redress the balance…. I love them cheeky chappy Scouse lads and lasses.
Liverpool’s football area centred around Stanley Park (or footballing stadia as it’s more grandly displayed on them brown signposts on the way)has a good few pubs and although we frequent the Arkles on Everton away days, The Cabbage Hall, just a few hundred yards further away from the ground is a very decent alternative when we play the red half. The pre-match talk ranged from the optimists (we might not get beat by a rugby score) to the loonies (we’ll get a draw) and whether Kieran would play some part as widely predicted in our beloved Echo. I could keep it simple here and say the optimists got it right and Kieran did, but shouldn’t and we all went home, however there was a little more to it than that……..
We lined up as per Birmingham except Chopra started instead of Stokes, which is a bit like saying I haven’t got a headache anymore, it’s now a fucking migraine. The first half was predictably reported in most media sources as “a poor/boring/scrappy half” which roughly translated means “the big team didn’t score loads of goals and the little team didn’t roll over, it’s not fair, boo hoo etc.” I actually thought we played well, Evans and Bardsley continued to show just what quality players they are, Nos did his usual “thank god he’s pace” routine and Danny Collins was solid, I don’t know how many times I have written or said that about Collins this season but I am so impressed with his transformation, keep it up Danny. So after not much at all other than a Torres “header” we headed to our half time pie/piss/pint (delete as appropriate) with a good platform to get something.
The 2nd half started as the first half ended with no chances and nothing for the media arseholes to get in a frenzy ower until about 10 minutes in when Carragher broke free down the right, crossed and a clothes pole with a Liverpool top on stuck it away….about 10 minutes later Torres got through and finished and we all thought boo game over…. wrong, our boys produced a stirring attempt to get themselves back into the game and were denied by at least 2, if not 3 pathetically biased decisions by our little friend Rob Styles, allow me to digress….I promised a very good friend that I’d sleep on my emotions and try and report the game when I had a clear head, I did and I have and I still can’t see anything other than what I saw yesterday. The horrible little cunting bastard ref fucking ripped us off blind then had the fucking cheek to stand in front of 3,000 loyal fans and smirk like he’d just got away with nicking the teachers apple… horrible, horrible little prick. Those that do have the courage to read my reports regularly may remember Blackburn away where I actually defended Styles for the penner he gave against us…. well fast forward a month or so and he went and wrecked that by denying us one from a near identical situation. Ok, it may not have changed the game but you could sense if we’d have nicked one that Liverpool’s confidence would get tested to the limit, unfortunately Styles compounded his wanker status by denying us again a few minutes later when a flying Scouser did his best to decapitate O’Donovan with his boot….. and Styles played on (cunt). A couple of minutes from the end Nosworthy leapt across half the pitch and appeared to upend Benayoun (I think)…. to be fair to Styles, his incompetence meant he didn’t see it….. unfortunately for us the lino did and despite Gordons best efforts (he had a really good game) Media darling Gerrard (eezzz big an’ eez fuccccccccccing ‘ardddd apparently) made it 3-0 and that, as they say was that. We all trooped out thoroughly frustrated and pissed off with things and walking along Anfield Road some scouser waved a flag on our general direction, I swear it said “Rob Styles King of the Kop”…… I would like to say that I don’t doubt that Liverpool deserved their win and I would sincerely love them to win the league one day, however I would just like a fair crack at the whip y’know?
Hero of the day: Craig Gordon, Phil Bardsley or the bloke who screamed at Lucas when he went down in a heap “Get up you bitch”
Villain of the day: Mr Rob Styles (Hampshire) (cunt) – he’ll not be bothered though, he’s on the Premier League big boys Christmas card list