Almost all of you will know the old SAFC fanzine (done by lads from the London branch) that was titled “It’s the hope I can’t stand”. Many SAFC supporters think that title sums up their feelings supporting SAFC. However, that awful feeling of anxiety followed by pathetically believing something good might somehow happen is the very essence of being an SAFC supporter. What I really find upsetting is apathy. You want to go to the match thinking “we can get something out of this; we can turn the season round” – no matter how ridiculous that hope might be. I went to this game, not caring. How awful is that? I didn’t care about the result. I think the season is over. A single victory will probably have me typing here “you know a decent run and we could catch up with the fourth off bottom team” like some puppy dog, that gets beaten by its owner, wagging its tail if a sausage is thrown towards it.
Mick says we shouldn’t let the 45 minutes of the second half against Portsmouth ruin our season. At an intellectual level of course he is right – it would be dumb to make that the only defining moment. But until then we had been clinging on to decent performances and believing that somehow we would start getting results more commensurate with our play. That second half showed that even when presented with a golden opportunity (and Portsmouth in the first half were the second worst team we’ve seen this season – us in the second being the worst) we could blow it. What are we meant to be clinging onto now?
So in the boozer beforehand I said to some of the North Herts SAFCSA lads that I would take a 3-0 defeat. A defeat was obvious but it would be nice not to be humiliated. That is how low my expectations are. So at 3-1 I guess I should be “happy”. But no – apathy reigns – I just don’t care.
Mick shuffled his pack – to a large extent, the shufflings being forced on him but one or two were voluntary. Alnwick came in for Davis. We have had Mick and various current players and former players now on the coaching staff telling us how awful we are to Kelvin. Well I didn’t boo Davis in the second half against Portsmouth – in fact, I applauded him every time – I do that because I am a supporter and I think at the game supporters should support. However, inside I was livid – I am sure my head sank into my hands and I exclaimed “oh god, how crap is he?”. I don’t agree with people having a go at him – but a little bit of understanding of the frustrations that have lead to that as well as condemnation of the boos would not go amiss. Daivs has been awful. Really awful. He looked good for Ipswich last season and I though he looked great in pre-season. But once the first competitive ball was kicked, Boro game apart he has had a fantastic nack of being in the wrong place, not commanding his defence and not moving. Are we supposed to pretend we haven’t seen that? If he is back for the next game I’ll cheer him from kick off until he leaves the pitch – but I’m not going to pretend he has been anything other than dire because Mick, Bally, Caldwell and Stubbs tell me to.
Danny Collins thankfully was able to play at left back as Hoyte was not allowed to. Stubbs and Caldwell went at centre back with Breen in front of them – something I had argued for previously – although it made precious little difference. Murphy came in for Welsh (another success from the pre-season who has been awful since). Miller was dropped and so touched the ball only slightly less than his usual game (actually he did come on half way through the second half) so Robinson (who must be wondering what he has done wrong) was given a rare outing alongside Whitehead.. Gray then played on one side and Stead played up front. Even in a game when you’d forgive anyone for not shining (the class gulf is just too great) Stead still managed to look hopeless. He really is the poor SAFC’s Tore Andre Flo. Personally I think he might actually be Flo – I am learning some Norwegian so if I get the chance to walk behind him I’m going to ask him a question in Norwegian and see if he answers – I’ll keep you updated.
The game? – we lost. We conceded an early goal (nice to have that tradition back – we’d gone a few games without it). Arsenal must have felt they worked harder in the Friday kicky about training session than they had to here. We got a consolation in the second half, which puts us in a more favourable light than many visitors to Highbury.
Mick out? Well we have 5 points. After losing to the mags at SJP and then losing at Highbury three years ago Reid was sacked – a few weeks earlier in the season and with 8 points on the table. I don’t want Mick out. I like the bloke and I think he did a great job to get us back into the Prem so quickly. But you can’t blame people for talking. The pre-season buys have turned out to be pretty poor (the loan of Hoyte excepted). If we go down, we’ll lose Hoyte – and some smart guys are going to spot that Whitehead and Elliott are canny players. Can you imagine watching us back in the Championship without those players? You can never tell of course but a number of people have made the comment that the Championship winning side would probably beat the current one.
So apathy rules? Not really of course. I can fake it to myself for a one-off game against one of the big boys like this. But whatever happens against Villa at the SoL will either elate me or destroy me all over again. A whole season of this – great, just great.