It’s official, last night Hull City won the World Cup, the Premiership and the Champions League!……. well that’s what you’d think the way the bloody crowd went on after this (ahem) crucial match – presentations on the pitch afterwards??
Haway for feck’s sake man, I know these Hull boys don’t have much to get excited about but surely life isn’t THAT dull in East Yorkshire? (actually I found that on the way in and out of Hull that it probably is). Unfortunately due to one of our touring party being late again (he’s always either late or getting arrested), we didn’t board our Owned RV (eat your heart out Mr “Rental RV” Herts) until about quarter to 5 and then realised that Hull wasn’t just south of Middlesbrough, (for those of you that know me and are getting confused at this point I was up North for this particular pilgrimage) and lorries carrying houses do slow one’s progress enough to make you worry about pre-match drink, but get there we did and drink we did, although on hindsight another 10 pints may have helped proceedings! And just for the record, The Tigers is a shite nickname for a shite club in a shite town and no charvers, you didn’t sound hard in the carpark singing “You’ve just been mauled by the Tigers”
Reet, its at this point you get the choice of 2 x 90 minute scenarios, you know like in them books where you pick your ending. I’ve put a little guide in to help you make your decision as to which ending to take
If you’re a fat middle aged bloke from Berkhamsted in Hertfordshire that’s just come back from the US Tour then;
This was mint, the mintest thing being that everyone inside the stadium decided that the match was so mint we’d keep it a secret and tell the watching world media that Hull won 1-0. Bags of entertainment in this superb high scoring draw, it was like all the best bits from every season rolled into 1 fantastic, action packed blockbusting 90 minutes. And just to fit in with your currently acquired terminology….. The De-fence and Off-ensive units combined superbly and we were continuously in the end zone hitting free shots at their stopper
If you’re anyone else other than the aforementioned fat bloke from Herts. Then;
Complete and utter pony lads and lasses. This was a game of two halves and neither was particularly encouraging…. Infact the ONLY things I can think of that had me creeping towards the edge of my seat were Ben Alnwicks impression of Cristiano Ronaldo’s triple ball stepover on his own six yard area (without the fally ower bit like). Tommy Millers free kick which looked close from our end but might have been miles off and Pipers warm up which had me nervous as hell that something was about to break. Two completely different teams played equally shite and I was thoroughly bored – think that about covers it, …..
One last thing, a lad says he’d give me a fiver if I got the word penguin into this report, so Chris, if you’re reading this, I’ll see you down the Harbour View marra!
TAFKARLC – The official non-sunshine hunting pre-season friendly away reporter
