Morning routines

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alarm @ 4:40am
walk dog at 5am
700 or so pressups etc @ 6am + veggie smoothy
walk dog at 1oam
wank at 12 then nap
total sport at 5:30pm
tv at 7
bed at 10pm
 


Wake up
Hit snooze for 20 minutes
Contemplate my existence
Get up, toilet and brush teeth
Stare into the bathroom mirror blankly for 12 minutes
Cry
Coffee and stare out the window close to tears
Out the door and into the car
Sit with my hands on the steering wheel contemplating driving to f***ing Jamaica
Drive to work, sing a long to closing time by semi sonic
Start work realise things are alright
 
alarm at 6
pull myself together (tug)
shit
shower (brush teeth, mouthwash and exfoliate in shower)
clothes on and out the door
tie my shoe laces at the bus stop
get to central for 6:50
cup of tea from greggs
bus at 7:05
 

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Either a) Wake up at 7.15, stagger round with my eyes shut, go in shower, hoy clothes on, leave at 7.30 get to work exactly on 8.30

Or more often than not

b) Wake up at 7.30 in a panic, wash face and clockweights, hoy clothes on leave at 7.40, drive like Mario Andretti, still get to work 10 mins late.
 
Either a) Wake up at 7.15, stagger round with my eyes shut, go in shower, hoy clothes on, leave at 7.30 get to work exactly on 8.30

Or more often than not

b) Wake up at 7.30 in a panic, wash face and clockweights, hoy clothes on leave at 7.40, drive like Mario Andretti, still get to work 10 mins late.

How do you manage to get showered, dried, dressed and out the house in fifteen minutes?
 
How do you manage to get showered, dried, dressed and out the house in fifteen minutes?
1 min get to bathroom and wait for hot water.
5 min shower and dry
1 min brush teeth
2 mins get dressed
1 min shoes
1 min get to car
2 mins to come back for summat I've forgotten
1 min get to car.

What could possibly take longer?

Shaving I suppose. I don't shave.

alarm @ 4:40am
walk dog at 5am
700 or so pressups etc @ 6am + veggie smoothy
walk dog at 1oam
wank at 12 then nap
total sport at 5:30pm
tv at 7
bed at 10pm
What's the wank/nap ratio in that 5 1/2 hours there mate?
 
1 min get to bathroom and wait for hot water.
5 min shower and dry
1 min brush teeth
2 mins get dressed
1 min shoes
1 min get to car
2 mins to come back for summat I've forgotten
1 min get to car.

What could possibly take longer?

Shaving I suppose. I don't shave.


What's the wank/nap ratio in that 5 1/2 hours there mate?

You take 5 minutes to get completely showered and dried? Christ!
 
You take 5 minutes to get completely showered and dried? Christ!
??? How can you take longer?
Soap on, soap off is about 2 mins.
Wet hair 10 secs
Shampoo 20 secs
Rinse 30 secs
Dry 2 mins

I'm guessing mind, but it can't be much more than that. Bit more if you have long hair I suppose.
Mind, I used to see a lass who was like the bloke in that crunchy nut cornflakes advert. She could shower (without hair) in about 30 seconds.
 
you're doing that all wrong mate. Bog first, then shower.

To be honest, I didn't spot that. I would usually use the bog first - particularly if I was having a dump. If not, then fuck it, it all goes down the same hole.
 
You take 5 minutes to get completely showered and dried? Christ!
About a minute too long imo

Either a) Wake up at 7.15, stagger round with my eyes shut, go in shower, hoy clothes on, leave at 7.30 get to work exactly on 8.30

Or more often than not

b) Wake up at 7.30 in a panic, wash face and clockweights, hoy clothes on leave at 7.40, drive like Mario Andretti, still get to work 10 mins late.
More like super Mario
 
??? How can you take longer?
Soap on, soap off is about 2 mins.
Wet hair 10 secs
Shampoo 20 secs
Rinse 30 secs
Dry 2 mins

I'm guessing mind, but it can't be much more than that. Bit more if you have long hair I suppose.
Mind, I used to see a lass who was like the bloke in that crunchy nut cornflakes advert. She could shower (without hair) in about 30 seconds.

A shower and dry is about fifteen to twenty minutes for me like. I just don't feel clean if I haven't spent at least ten minutes in there.
 
Wife's alarm goes off at 6 so I'm half awake then, mine goes off at 6:30

If I can be arsed I'll cum in a sock or I'll pester the wife for a bit of spooning, up at 6:40. Downstairs to commence battle with the kids over getting ready. Drop them off at 8am at Bwekfast club.

At work for either 8:15 or 8:30 depending what office I'm in
 
Wife's alarm goes off at 6 so I'm half awake then, mine goes off at 6:30

If I can be arsed I'll cum in a sock or I'll pester the wife for a bit of spooning, up at 6:40. Downstairs to commence battle with the kids over getting ready. Drop them off at 8am at Bwekfast club.

At work for either 8:15 or 8:30 depending what office I'm in

Is that what you're calling the bookies now?
 
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