Crap Poster following crap striker out of the door...

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Uncle Sam

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Ah, what could have been. I arrived on the SMB what seemed like but days ago. It was a new start – for me, for Jozy, for America. We invaded…erm, dropped by with only the very best intentions. Aye, ‘twas all for naught. The snickering, the slagging, the sniping began nearly at once. “Holland is rubbish,” you said. “Sunderland are a MASSIVE club with huge expectations,” you said. We told you one thing – provide us with someone to unlock the defense, and Jozy will finish.

Sadly, he never received any help.

Managers changed. The squad changed – but never was a creative player to be found. Sure, Jozy missed a sitter or two, but alas so have many a great player. A balding, lazy Scot, too, missed his fair share, but alas he was forgiven (he’s European, you know). Aye, then came Connor Wickham. Hadn’t done naught, but after a nice run of a handful of games where he did himself well, he became the Chosen One. Sadly for all of us, he was a Trojan horse (but as you know, he too is European). Jozy was asked to receive Route One passes and create on his own, a role with which he isn’t and never has been comfortable. The <shit> Legend of Josmer grew, if not his goal totals (whilst, of course, no one else in a Sunderland shirt scored). He became “a donkey,” an “elephant on skates,” and whatever tragically bad and unfair description terrible Mackem supporters slagged him with.

…and just like that, Jozy is gone. Off to <the> MLS, where he’ll be loved. Supported. Valued. Moreover, he’ll likely be used in a formation and system that suits him. He’ll miss the North East. Erm, let’s not fool ourselves. He won’t miss it one bit. Nor will I. This Sunderland supporter, though relatively new to the club, proudly wore his red and white strip up. ‘Til now. I’ll support you in the Championship next year, and League One the next. I’ll never forget. Godspeed, friends.

Oh, and saving you from the Germans was my distinct pleasure.

Your Uncle Sam
 


Ah, what could have been. I arrived on the SMB what seemed like but days ago. It was a new start – for me, for Jozy, for America. We invaded…erm, dropped by with only the very best intentions. Aye, ‘twas all for naught. The snickering, the slagging, the sniping began nearly at once. “Holland is rubbish,” you said. “Sunderland are a MASSIVE club with huge expectations,” you said. We told you one thing – provide us with someone to unlock the defense, and Jozy will finish.

Sadly, he never received any help.

Managers changed. The squad changed – but never was a creative player to be found. Sure, Jozy missed a sitter or two, but alas so have many a great player. A balding, lazy Scot, too, missed his fair share, but alas he was forgiven (he’s European, you know). Aye, then came Connor Wickham. Hadn’t done naught, but after a nice run of a handful of games where he did himself well, he became the Chosen One. Sadly for all of us, he was a Trojan horse (but as you know, he too is European). Jozy was asked to receive Route One passes and create on his own, a role with which he isn’t and never has been comfortable. The <shit> Legend of Josmer grew, if not his goal totals (whilst, of course, no one else in a Sunderland shirt scored). He became “a donkey,” an “elephant on skates,” and whatever tragically bad and unfair description terrible Mackem supporters slagged him with.

…and just like that, Jozy is gone. Off to <the> MLS, where he’ll be loved. Supported. Valued. Moreover, he’ll likely be used in a formation and system that suits him. He’ll miss the North East. Erm, let’s not fool ourselves. He won’t miss it one bit. Nor will I. This Sunderland supporter, though relatively new to the club, proudly wore his red and white strip up. ‘Til now. I’ll support you in the Championship next year, and League One the next. I’ll never forget. Godspeed, friends.

Oh, and saving you from the Germans was my distinct pleasure.

Your Uncle Sam

Traaa Jozy... Yer a nice lad probably. Just shit at football in a proper league. All the best marra.
 
Ah, what could have been. I arrived on the SMB what seemed like but days ago. It was a new start – for me, for Jozy, for America. We invaded…erm, dropped by with only the very best intentions. Aye, ‘twas all for naught. The snickering, the slagging, the sniping began nearly at once. “Holland is rubbish,” you said. “Sunderland are a MASSIVE club with huge expectations,” you said. We told you one thing – provide us with someone to unlock the defense, and Jozy will finish.

Sadly, he never received any help.

Managers changed. The squad changed – but never was a creative player to be found. Sure, Jozy missed a sitter or two, but alas so have many a great player. A balding, lazy Scot, too, missed his fair share, but alas he was forgiven (he’s European, you know). Aye, then came Connor Wickham. Hadn’t done naught, but after a nice run of a handful of games where he did himself well, he became the Chosen One. Sadly for all of us, he was a Trojan horse (but as you know, he too is European). Jozy was asked to receive Route One passes and create on his own, a role with which he isn’t and never has been comfortable. The <shit> Legend of Josmer grew, if not his goal totals (whilst, of course, no one else in a Sunderland shirt scored). He became “a donkey,” an “elephant on skates,” and whatever tragically bad and unfair description terrible Mackem supporters slagged him with.

…and just like that, Jozy is gone. Off to <the> MLS, where he’ll be loved. Supported. Valued. Moreover, he’ll likely be used in a formation and system that suits him. He’ll miss the North East. Erm, let’s not fool ourselves. He won’t miss it one bit. Nor will I. This Sunderland supporter, though relatively new to the club, proudly wore his red and white strip up. ‘Til now. I’ll support you in the Championship next year, and League One the next. I’ll never forget. Godspeed, friends.

Oh, and saving you from the Germans was my distinct pleasure.

Your Uncle Sam
My that's awfully nice of you Sam, but alas we don't need dilutey fans like you.
 
Ah, what could have been. I arrived on the SMB what seemed like but days ago. It was a new start – for me, for Jozy, for America. We invaded…erm, dropped by with only the very best intentions. Aye, ‘twas all for naught. The snickering, the slagging, the sniping began nearly at once. “Holland is rubbish,” you said. “Sunderland are a MASSIVE club with huge expectations,” you said. We told you one thing – provide us with someone to unlock the defense, and Jozy will finish.

Sadly, he never received any help.

Managers changed. The squad changed – but never was a creative player to be found. Sure, Jozy missed a sitter or two, but alas so have many a great player. A balding, lazy Scot, too, missed his fair share, but alas he was forgiven (he’s European, you know). Aye, then came Connor Wickham. Hadn’t done naught, but after a nice run of a handful of games where he did himself well, he became the Chosen One. Sadly for all of us, he was a Trojan horse (but as you know, he too is European). Jozy was asked to receive Route One passes and create on his own, a role with which he isn’t and never has been comfortable. The <shit> Legend of Josmer grew, if not his goal totals (whilst, of course, no one else in a Sunderland shirt scored). He became “a donkey,” an “elephant on skates,” and whatever tragically bad and unfair description terrible Mackem supporters slagged him with.

…and just like that, Jozy is gone. Off to <the> MLS, where he’ll be loved. Supported. Valued. Moreover, he’ll likely be used in a formation and system that suits him. He’ll miss the North East. Erm, let’s not fool ourselves. He won’t miss it one bit. Nor will I. This Sunderland supporter, though relatively new to the club, proudly wore his red and white strip up. ‘Til now. I’ll support you in the Championship next year, and League One the next. I’ll never forget. Godspeed, friends.

Oh, and saving you from the Germans was my distinct pleasure.

Your Uncle Sam
You'll need to come up with a new alter ego to piss everyone off with now.
 
Ah, what could have been. I arrived on the SMB what seemed like but days ago. It was a new start – for me, for Jozy, for America. We invaded…erm, dropped by with only the very best intentions. Aye, ‘twas all for naught. The snickering, the slagging, the sniping began nearly at once. “Holland is rubbish,” you said. “Sunderland are a MASSIVE club with huge expectations,” you said. We told you one thing – provide us with someone to unlock the defense, and Jozy will finish.

Sadly, he never received any help.

Managers changed. The squad changed – but never was a creative player to be found. Sure, Jozy missed a sitter or two, but alas so have many a great player. A balding, lazy Scot, too, missed his fair share, but alas he was forgiven (he’s European, you know). Aye, then came Connor Wickham. Hadn’t done naught, but after a nice run of a handful of games where he did himself well, he became the Chosen One. Sadly for all of us, he was a Trojan horse (but as you know, he too is European). Jozy was asked to receive Route One passes and create on his own, a role with which he isn’t and never has been comfortable. The <shit> Legend of Josmer grew, if not his goal totals (whilst, of course, no one else in a Sunderland shirt scored). He became “a donkey,” an “elephant on skates,” and whatever tragically bad and unfair description terrible Mackem supporters slagged him with.

…and just like that, Jozy is gone. Off to <the> MLS, where he’ll be loved. Supported. Valued. Moreover, he’ll likely be used in a formation and system that suits him. He’ll miss the North East. Erm, let’s not fool ourselves. He won’t miss it one bit. Nor will I. This Sunderland supporter, though relatively new to the club, proudly wore his red and white strip up. ‘Til now. I’ll support you in the Championship next year, and League One the next. I’ll never forget. Godspeed, friends.

Oh, and saving you from the Germans was my distinct pleasure.

Your Uncle Sam


http://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/sep/25/usa.secondworldwar
 
Ah, what could have been. I arrived on the SMB what seemed like but days ago. It was a new start – for me, for Jozy, for America. We invaded…erm, dropped by with only the very best intentions. Aye, ‘twas all for naught. The snickering, the slagging, the sniping began nearly at once. “Holland is rubbish,” you said. “Sunderland are a MASSIVE club with huge expectations,” you said. We told you one thing – provide us with someone to unlock the defense, and Jozy will finish.

Sadly, he never received any help.

Managers changed. The squad changed – but never was a creative player to be found. Sure, Jozy missed a sitter or two, but alas so have many a great player. A balding, lazy Scot, too, missed his fair share, but alas he was forgiven (he’s European, you know). Aye, then came Connor Wickham. Hadn’t done naught, but after a nice run of a handful of games where he did himself well, he became the Chosen One. Sadly for all of us, he was a Trojan horse (but as you know, he too is European). Jozy was asked to receive Route One passes and create on his own, a role with which he isn’t and never has been comfortable. The <shit> Legend of Josmer grew, if not his goal totals (whilst, of course, no one else in a Sunderland shirt scored). He became “a donkey,” an “elephant on skates,” and whatever tragically bad and unfair description terrible Mackem supporters slagged him with.

…and just like that, Jozy is gone. Off to <the> MLS, where he’ll be loved. Supported. Valued. Moreover, he’ll likely be used in a formation and system that suits him. He’ll miss the North East. Erm, let’s not fool ourselves. He won’t miss it one bit. Nor will I. This Sunderland supporter, though relatively new to the club, proudly wore his red and white strip up. ‘Til now. I’ll support you in the Championship next year, and League One the next. I’ll never forget. Godspeed, friends.

Oh, and saving you from the Germans was my distinct pleasure.

Your Uncle Sam

Go back to rounders and netball you clueless bellend
 
'It's the system we play', 'it's the tactics', 'He isn't comfortable in that role', 'he gives his all'....I hear this a lot. But when a player struggles to control a ball and has the worst pass completion of any outfield player in the premier league (45 %) no system or set up in the world will suit him. Good riddance.
 
Ah, what could have been. I arrived on the SMB what seemed like but days ago. It was a new start – for me, for Jozy, for America. We invaded…erm, dropped by with only the very best intentions. Aye, ‘twas all for naught. The snickering, the slagging, the sniping began nearly at once. “Holland is rubbish,” you said. “Sunderland are a MASSIVE club with huge expectations,” you said. We told you one thing – provide us with someone to unlock the defense, and Jozy will finish.

Sadly, he never received any help.

Managers changed. The squad changed – but never was a creative player to be found. Sure, Jozy missed a sitter or two, but alas so have many a great player. A balding, lazy Scot, too, missed his fair share, but alas he was forgiven (he’s European, you know). Aye, then came Connor Wickham. Hadn’t done naught, but after a nice run of a handful of games where he did himself well, he became the Chosen One. Sadly for all of us, he was a Trojan horse (but as you know, he too is European). Jozy was asked to receive Route One passes and create on his own, a role with which he isn’t and never has been comfortable. The <shit> Legend of Josmer grew, if not his goal totals (whilst, of course, no one else in a Sunderland shirt scored). He became “a donkey,” an “elephant on skates,” and whatever tragically bad and unfair description terrible Mackem supporters slagged him with.

…and just like that, Jozy is gone. Off to <the> MLS, where he’ll be loved. Supported. Valued. Moreover, he’ll likely be used in a formation and system that suits him. He’ll miss the North East. Erm, let’s not fool ourselves. He won’t miss it one bit. Nor will I. This Sunderland supporter, though relatively new to the club, proudly wore his red and white strip up. ‘Til now. I’ll support you in the Championship next year, and League One the next. I’ll never forget. Godspeed, friends.

Oh, and saving you from the Germans was my distinct pleasure.

Your Uncle Sam

I can't help but find an obviously English mag even joke about that quite staggering.
 
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