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50 Shades of Geordie…

Discussion in 'SMB' started by obrienobrien, Sep 27, 2012.

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  1. obrienobrien

    obrienobrien Central Defender

    An excerpt from the book we've all been dying to read!

    50 Shades of Geordie…

    I knew as soon as I walked through the door from dropping the bairn off at me mothers that I was ganna get some. I peeped through the fist-hole in the living room door and saw the half a rolley burning in the ashtray perched on the arm of me new Bright House corner settee. The telly was turned reet doon, ah cudn't even hear what Lorraine was
    sayin’about the new fashion for the summer nor nowt. Then I saw ‘im and me heart skipped a beat, he'd obviously had a crisis loan and been down the metro, cos he was wearing fresh new tracky bottoms and a brand new pair of flossies, his rippling white chest peeped out from behind the zip of his superdry coat, that was sexily only zipped halfway up just enough to cover the tack burns, but give me a cheeky glimpse of what was to come.

    He pulled me towards him and whispered "Y'all reet pet" before plantin’ the lips on me, I trembled under the aroma of Golden Virginia and stale Stella.

    He took me there and then, right on the Argos rug whilst our staffy Tyson looked on.

    He left without a word, but he would be returnin’ soon, with tales of a fight in the job centre queue and his joy at finding a poond coin on the floor of the 54 bus.

    I tried to settle myself down with a tab but all the while that one question burned in me heart…

    Would he remember the meat pasty from Greggs?
  2. madone

    madone Winger

  3. TheWanderer

    TheWanderer Striker

    Class that, never seen that before! ;)
  4. Teed

    Teed Striker

  5. WillD

    WillD Striker

    Thats real life, 50 shades of grey is fiction
  6. Stormo

    Stormo New Member

    What's wrong with superdry like?
  7. BAMBAM

    BAMBAM Goalkeeper

  8. Lexingtongue

    Lexingtongue Striker

    Well done if you wrote that yourself. :lol:
  9. Norm

    Norm Midfield

    Shite and unoriginal.
  10. GypsyBlackCat

    GypsyBlackCat Winger

  11. Harry Monk

    Harry Monk Winger

    Scummer clothes
  12. Stormo

    Stormo New Member

    Really? I was thinking of a jacket from there. Might give it a miss now.
  13. GBSAFC

    GBSAFC Striker

    thats my ex tenants life :cry:
  14. foolzy

    foolzy Winger

    No, he said Stella mate
  15. Alreet Marra

    Alreet Marra New Member

    Was that supposed to be funny?
  16. GBSAFC

    GBSAFC Striker

    sorry Bud
  17. Dan The Man

    Dan The Man Striker

    Canny, it had me pissing myself laughing in the car reading it.

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2012
  18. Statto Junkie

    Statto Junkie Winger

    He's Peroni joking.
  19. I'm Spartacus

    I'm Spartacus Midfield


    I would find this funny If it was exaggerated and I wasn't paying to keep people like this in rolly tabs and Stella.....
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