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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:20 PM   #1
    fyl2u
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    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: Sol 3
    Thumbs down Piles

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, my arse hurts!

    Advice?

    NHS website says lay off the caffeine, drink lots of water and eat roughage.

    I dunno what roughage is, but it sounds painful to pass.
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:21 PM   #2
    emseab
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    Default Re: Piles

    chop then wit hot scissors
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:22 PM   #3
    Pell
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    Default Re: Piles

    when i had piles my aunty would give me a cup of hot ribena, with a spoon of honey in it
    she would ask me to stir it then watch the whirlpool effect as she fingerred my grapes back in with aplomb
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:24 PM   #4
    Teed
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    Default Re: Piles

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by fyl2u View Post
    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, my arse hurts!

    Advice?

    NHS website says lay off the caffeine, drink lots of water and eat roughage.

    I dunno what roughage is, but it sounds painful to pass.
    Eat a bowl of porridge in the morning and drink a glass of Cranberry juice
    give it a month and you'll be shitting like clockwork.

    PS. porridge is suppose to be really good for those that suffer depression too.
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:29 PM   #5
    fyl2u
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    Default Re: Piles

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Teed View Post
    Eat a bowl of porridge in the morning and drink a glass of Cranberry juice
    give it a month and you'll be shitting like clockwork.

    PS. porridge is suppose to be really good for those that suffer depression too.
    Is that right? The problem is it looks, tastes and feels like you're eating a bowl of papier maché. I can't see that experience making me feel less depressed.
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:30 PM   #6
    gards2
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    Location: Here, temporarily
    Default Re: Piles

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by fyl2u View Post
    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, my arse hurts!

    Advice?

    NHS website says lay off the caffeine, drink lots of water and eat roughage.

    I dunno what roughage is, but it sounds painful to pass.
    Ah! "welcome to my world" lol

    Seriously mate, you have my sympathise as I used to get them regularly (several times a year)

    Your diet and lack of exercise are both responsible and not enough fibre in your diet (Vitamin B) or lack of is also a culprit.

    If it's an external pile i.e. a swollen vein that protrudes from your anus. You will have to get suppositories from chemist and 'stick em up there' which will be uncomfortable. You will also need cream for the external pile to shrink it from the outside to.

    Do everything you can to make sure yer shit is soft and bulky AND NOT DRY AND COMPACTED. As this will lead to agony and further irritation.

    There's nothing about piles don't know.
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:31 PM   #7
    Doodler
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    Default Re: Piles

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Pell View Post
    when i had piles my aunty would give me a cup of hot ribena, with a spoon of honey in it
    she would ask me to stir it then watch the whirlpool effect as she fingerred my grapes back in with aplomb
    sounds like quite a fruit salad that mate
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:31 PM   #8
    GypsyBlackCat
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    Join Date: Sep 2009
    Location: De Briggan
    Default Re: Piles

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by fyl2u View Post
    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, my arse hurts!

    Advice?

    NHS website says lay off the caffeine, drink lots of water and eat roughage.

    I dunno what roughage is, but it sounds painful to pass.
    That's a pain in the arse mate.

    I'll get my coat.
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:32 PM   #9
    Pell
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    Default Re: Piles

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Doodler View Post
    sounds like quite a fruit salad that mate
    aye she popped some cream on n all


    *HIGH FIVE*
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    Old 8th March 2011, 02:33 PM   #10
    Giddup Sausage!
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    Location: Millfield Sunderland
    Default Re: Piles

    Get off yer fat arse n dee summit.

    That helps.
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