Re: Old Sunderland joke (for the younguns)
alright we'll do this one instead
After living a long and fruitful (?) life Alan Shearer dies peacefully in his sleep. On arriving in heaven God is waiting at the gates.
"Now Alan" he says "because you have impressed me throughout your life I am going to give you your own house in heaven, it's not much, but you're very lucky as only a few people get houses to live in up here".
"Thank you, Lord" Alan replied. They walked for a while until they approached the bottom of the driveway leading to a small wooden house, and in the front door window there was a faded Newcastle United FC sticker.
Alan again thanked God before proceeding up the drive way. Half way up, he caught site of the house behind his, which had Red and White gates and a long winding driveway at the top of which was a 50ft flagpole with a giant Sunderland AFC flag.
When he looked at the house itself he saw many windows each with a brand new shiny Sunderland sticker in and through the living room window he saw a life size poster of Kevin Phillips standing proud in his Red'n'White kit.
Alan began to shake his head and God asked what was wrong. "Well" he replied" I played in the Premiership with Newcastle and entertained the fans, made me way into the England Team and scored countless goals over many seasons."
God beckoned Alan to continue "I'd just like to know why Niall Quinn gets a bigger house than me".
God shook his head and smiled replying "Alan, Alan ... that isn't Niall Quinns house ... it's mine."
I know everything about nothing.