There are others that would get the hook before Rooney
Problem is there is absolutely no attacking alternative in the squad
SHAUN SHITE PHILLIPS for fucks-sake -- WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!
Adam Johnson, although untried, has the ability to do something that little bit different
MICHAEL FUCKING CARRICK - WHY !!!!!!!!
About as mobile as Lampard / Barry / Gerrard -- offers absolutely fucking nothing to the squad. We are absolutely crying out for a bit of mobility in midfield but the alternatives to Fat Frank and co are even fucking slower

.... Scott Parker / Cattermole type player would not go amiss
EMILY C*NTING FUCK HESKEY -- absolute shower of shite