All right guv,
Seeing as you're coming down by Michael Caine from so far you're gonna need a decent Jackie Chan of your journey to get you there on time. It'll cost you a score but I reckon you should get the Eefrow Express to Paddington and jump on the Bakerloo line - oldest tube line in London guv, built on the bones of unfortunate cockney builders that is - to Wembley Central.
A lot of people get the Jubilee - golden jubilee, Gawd bless yer, yer Maj - to Wembley Park but the tube's pretty pony when it's busy - bloody Red Ken, I nevva voted for that Berk - and the fewer changes you have to make the less Barney Rubble you'll have. It's gonna be mobbed on the tube wherever you go so don't hang abaht, set off nice and Liz Hurley.
This call may be recorded for training porpoises.